Sinful Thoughts
by readingmama
Summary: Edward is adopted by the Swans at birth. How will Bella and Edward cope with their growing attraction when they think they are siblings?
1. Prologue

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars, Who I love already!  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

Prologue

Renee POV

"Are you sure that this won't be too much?" I asked Charlie. "It's not too late to cancel the process."

"This feels right Renee. I think we should continue."

My husband was a man of few words and even fewer opinions. When he told me that we should go ahead with the adoption after finding out that we were expecting, I listened. We had put in our application that we wanted a boy. Charlie wanted a little boy to fish and play ball with him. We weren't unable to have our own children, obviously, but we felt as though there were enough unloved children in the world that we would start our family that way.

I was thrilled when I discovered I was pregnant, contrary to how I would have thought I would feel. I enjoyed growing round and my hair had never looked better. At our 22 week ultrasound we discovered that we were having a girl.

On September 13, 1989 our baby girl was born. Bella Marie Swan was pink and perfect and going to be the envy of our small town. I envisioned her in little pink dresses with bows in her hair. She would be my princess.

The adoption process took a little longer than anticipated, allowing me to get used to one baby before getting another. Once they found a match for us we had to wait for the girl to give birth. We were a little weary about getting a newborn at first as Bella was only four months when they told us about our match. There would only be eleven months different between her and her new brother. But in the end, the twinkle in Charlie's eyes when he mentioned his boy was impossible to mistake.

We were told the mother's first name and location. She was a seventeen year-old girl who was unable to take care of a child. She was an A student who just made a bad decision. I could never fault her for it; she would be the reason that my family was complete.

On June 20, 1990 our son was born. We took Bella with us to the hospital. The mother had requested that we wait in an adjoining room. The baby would be brought to us once he was checked over and cleaned.

The first moment I seen my son I knew that we had made the right choice. He had a strong face and beautiful, wide eyes. His head was covered in a thick coat of dark hair.

"The name we picked isn't right," Charlie said, looking down at his son.

"No, he is not a David, is he?" I replied. I placed the small bundle down on the hospital bed and Charlie placed Bella beside him. Their little hands flailed towards each other until they settled with their hands resting on each others. Bella's face brightened with a smile as the two babies cooed at each other. Bella's arm slipped over her new brothers and they slowly drifted to sleep.

"Edward," Charlie said, stirring me out of my daze.

"What?" I asked.

"Edward Masen Swan," he repeated.

"It's perfect."

**E/N- The prologue is short but the chapters will be longer. I hope you all enjoy this new fic and review. : ) **


	2. Chapter 1

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars, Who is teaching me all sorts of things.  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

**A/N- Because Twilighted was superfast validating my prologue here is chapter 1. **

Chapter 1

The fall leaves always remind me of death. I have never been one who found the season pretty. My mom says I am melodramatic. She may be on to something. The summer would always end too quickly for me and then I would head back to school.

I was your typical average child. I lived in a mid-income household with both of my parents, my brother, and a dog. Everything about me was 'normal,' to an outsider anyway. I held a dark secret through most of my teenage years, but I am getting ahead of myself.

My mother, Renee, was the love of our small town's life. Forks had never had such a social butterfly and, consequently, such a fast gossip chain. My mother was never cruel, but if there was news, you were sure to hear it from her first.

I was a little like my mother, only on a smaller scale. Being plain in the looks department had caused me to flourish in other departments. I was popular at school, I think partly because the popular girls didn't see me as much of a threat.

My father, Charlie, was my polar opposite. He was quiet and reserved. He was the local Chief of police, but in a town as small as Forks, he spent most of his time doling out speeding tickets.

I'll start my story at age fifteen because that is where I think the change occurred. There were other moments, earlier in life that made the pendulum start swinging but I think I became aware of it at fifteen.

I rolled out of bed, glaring at my alarm clock. Summer vacation was over and it was the first day of school. I hopped in the shower, allowing the warm water to give me a few minutes of faux sleep. I never understood how people said showers wake them up; I always felt they had the opposite effect on me.

I blow-dried my hair, spending twenty minutes getting rid of the flip on the one side. I knew that my parents had bought me the flat iron I wanted for my birthday, and I was dying to use it, but I would have to wait two weeks until my birthday to actually get it.

I headed downstairs into the kitchen. Now, I know I said that I lived in a middle-income family, but what you have to understand is that we all liked to cook. So when I tell you about our kitchen, you will have to understand that the rest of the house is literally falling apart; cracks in the drywall, flooring coming up, and the wonderful brass lighting from the early eighties.

So where was I, oh yes, the kitchen. The counters were rust colored granite. The tiles on the backsplash were black with rust marble veins. The cabinets were a dark wood that was almost black, and the whole kitchen was accented with stainless steel appliances. A large island was in the middle of the kitchen. We had knocked out some walls and made the room larger, adding a breakfast nook. It was any chef's wet dream.

"Smells good mom, what are you making?" I asked Renee's back as she frantically worked over the stove.

"Eggs Florentine," she replied. "Bella, honey, can you go get your brother out of bed? You have to leave in thirty minutes."

I groaned but left to go wake him up. My brother and I were close. We fought like any siblings would but we also had a connection that was almost like twins, maybe because we were only eleven months different in age. We were always there when we needed each other. But there were things that got on my nerves. He was one of those guys who could get out of bed, run his hands through his hair a couple of times, and look great, while I spent an hour just to look plain. He was naturally good at things where I had to study all the time to maintain my B average. Mom had even put us in figure skating when we were younger. He was graceful, and I broke my ankle.

I banged on his door before I slung the thing open. He just grunted and rolled over. I took a couple of steps and leapt up, landing on top of him.

"Bella, leave me alone!" He said, annoyed at my wake-up strategy.

"Just be grateful I didn't come up with a glass of water this time," I replied smiling. "Come on, Edward, mom says you have to get up."

Edward finally lifted his head and looked at me. He had a lazy smirk on his face and I noticed that his cheeks had thinned out over the summer. He was no longer sporting the pudgy cheeks and his jaw was becoming more pronounced. His green eyes sparkled unnaturally for someone who was just bounced out of a deep sleep. I found it odd that I was essentially noticing that my brother was becoming more attractive, but then I chalked it up to jealousy, as I still looked the same.

"Okay, okay, I'll be right down," he responded and then promptly pushed me so that I fell off the side of his bed.

I bounded back into the kitchen and took my seat at the table. Renee had already put out the plates of food in our spots. Charlie was reading the paper and sipping his coffee, looking every bit the stereotypical patriarch.

"Bella, wait for your brother," Renee chastised as I shoved the eggs in my mouth.

I rolled my eyes and put my fork down. No matter how much of a rush we were in, we always ate as a family.

Edward entered the room less than a minute later, dressed for the day and yawning.

"About time," I jabbed playfully.

"Shut it Lizardbella," he retorted pulling out his oh so original nickname for me.

"You shut it, Tirdward," I replied chucking a piece of bacon at him. He caught it dexterously and popped it in his mouth, smirking.

"Enough," Renee quipped, sitting down at the table.

Charlie lowered the paper once his wife sat down. The man carried a gun but was scared to death of Renee's cold shoulder. We ate our breakfast, making typical conversation.

Edward and I kissed our mom goodbye and headed out to hop in the cruiser. We used to love getting dropped off at school by Charlie, when we were younger, but now it was just plain embarrassing.

Edward would be starting high school with me this year. It was weird last year being in different schools, I think he was happy to be back with our friends. Edward and I hung out with the same group of friends. There was Jasper and Rosalie Hale who we called the double-mint twins. They were blonde and beautiful and the most loyal friends as you could find. Then there was Emmett McCarty; he was a barrel of fun, but you just knew he was the kind of guy that would never grow out of the fart jokes. Then there was little Mikey Newton who was four inches shorter than me but would always lend a hand no matter what. All of our friends were in the same grade as I was, so I think Edward's last year was pretty lonely.

"Okay, you two, have fun today," Charlie said pulling up to Forks High.

"Yeah, I'll get right on that," I said rolling my eyes. I was actually excited to be back at school with all my friends, but there was no reason for the parents to know that.

"Bye dad," Edward said, jumping out of the car and opening the back door for me.

"Do you need any help figuring out where you are going?" I asked Edward.

"Naw, I think I'll just wander around for a few minutes before the bell rings," he replied.

"Okay, see you later," I said.

I watched my brother walk away, noticing that he was now taller than me. It didn't take much with my 5 foot 4 frame.

"Bella!" I turned towards the sound of my name being screeched.

"Jessica, hi. How was your summer?" I replied. Jessica was one of those girls who are nice to you when they wanted something. I was always nice back but it didn't mean I was going to give her what she wanted.

"Good. I see you have been holding out on us. Who is the new hottie?"

"Uhm, I don't know? Where?" I asked genuinely confused.

"The one you were just talking to. The one over there with the yummy bed head," she hedged, seemingly annoyed with me.

I followed her manicured finger to where she was pointing to see my brother, standing and chatting with Emmett near the front doors.

"Ew, Jess, that's my brother," I replied.

"Well, well, well, it looks like little Edward Swan has entered the big leagues," she rambled.

"What do you mean?" I asked naively.

"Come on, Bella, even though he is your brother you have to be able to see how hot he has gotten. Can you set me up?"

"I'm going to class now," I said, desperate to get out of the conversation. I wouldn't wish Jessica on anyone I liked. I looked over to Edward, standing with his weight on one foot, the other crossed behind. He was leaning against the wall and his hand raked through his hair. I guess if I was going to look at it objectively, I would have to say he was good-looking. Tall, well he was getting there, dark, and handsome, wasn't that everyone's type?

He looked over and caught me staring; his eyebrow quirked up and he gave me a smile. I shook off the weird feeling I got, getting caught ogling my own brother. I didn't understand it then but that day was the beginning of a hard journey.

EPOV

Bella starts her story at fifteen, but I think mine started much earlier. I remember at age six, playing with some neighborhood kids. I was the only boy but it never bothered me much. I didn't mind playing dolls with the girls as long as they played cops and robbers with me. I was very diplomatic, even then.

Most of the details of that day are blurry. I can't remember names or even faces of some of our friends but I do remember the conversation.

"I'm gonna to marry Mr. Barkin," the little blonde haired girl said.

"The mailman?" Bella responded.

"Yup, he's gots blonde hair just like mine," she responded.

"How about you Edward, who are you going to marry when you grow up?" The chubby brunette asked.

"Uhm," I started, "I'm going to marry Bella."

Bella's eyes became wide and her chubby face produced a wide grin. "Yeah, when we grow up, Edward and I are getting married."

"You can't marry him, he's your brother," the little girl retorted.

"Uh huh I can, my mom says you marry your best friend and Edward is my bestest friend."

It's not uncommon for young children to want to marry their family members. Many young girls say they will marry their fathers, and many young boys, their mothers. It is, however, uncommon for that feeling to never go away.

I knew I wasn't going to marry my sister. I just wanted to find someone like her. She was, and is, unlike any other woman I have ever met.

At thirteen, I had my first wet dream. It was, for lack of a better word, intense. I know that most boys would wake up and feel embarrassed, but I felt relieved. I realized then and there that my dreams were the one place I could have whatever I wanted. Even if other people thought it was wrong, even if it could never happen. My dreams were mine and I would cherish every one.

The dreams started out being once a month, and then their frequency increased to once a week. By the time I was fifteen they were almost nightly. I was thankful that I didn't talk in my sleep like Bella. These dreams were my secret, my journal, the desires I couldn't even bear to write down. They were my everything.

Starting off at Forks high was exciting and terrifying at the same time. I was glad to be back in the same school as most of my friends. The year before had been lonely, but consequently, it had caused me to get good grades. My grades had even allowed me to skip a couple of entry level classes, allowing me to share some classes with Bella.

Bella was a great sister, but an even better friend. She wore her heart on her sleeve and tried to see the best in everyone, but so help you if you picked on one of her friends. The kitten became a panther and she defended readily. I remember in first grade a boy three years older stole my lunch snack. Bella found out and tracked him down, kicking him in the shins until he promised to bring me snacks for the rest of the week. She got in trouble but I had Oreo cookies every day that week.

I noticed as I walked around the school that I received more looks than I was used to. The guys seemed to be sizing me up while the girls were blatantly staring. I knew that I had grown over the summer. My skin had stayed clear while others around me were getting acne. I had taken to playing a lot of sports over summer and my body had toned up a bit. Add to that an extra two inches on my height and I suppose I looked a bit different. I was still just me though, most of these people had known me forever and I was unsure of the attention.

"Hi, Edward."

"Hi, Irina, how was your summer?" I responded. Irina was one of the few friends I made the previous year while separated from my group. We didn't really hang out outside of school but we had kept each other company at lunch and during breaks.

"Pretty good, we went to the Grand Canyon and my dad dropped his camera," she giggled. "How was yours?"

"Okay, I just hung around with some friends, nothing much."

"Well, I should get going to class. I'll see you around?" She asked nervously.

"Yeah sure," I replied. I liked her, she was a nice girl. She was pretty quiet and I didn't know if she would mesh well with my friends, but I had no intention of ignoring her now that I had them back.

I spent the day confused and baffled by the new attention. I had no less than seven girls approach me with notes confessing everything from 'I think you're hot' to 'I can give you a blow job if you want.' Not one of them had kindness in their eyes, not one of them bit their bottom lip because they were nervous; they weren't right, they weren't even close.

They weren't Bella.

**E/N- Thank you everyone for reading. Please review. **

**You can follow me on Twitter under Vampiremama**


	3. Chapter 2

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars, Who is teaching me all sorts of things.  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

A/N- Sorry for the repost, just a minor edit, no need to re-read. Unless you want to .

Chapter 2

What does one do when the hottest guy at school is your brother?

It took only a few days for Edwardmania to hit in full force. Girls that I had gone to school with since grade 1 were now coming up and talking to me. One girl even flat out asked me to invite her over so she could watch Edward in his home. If it wasn't so creepy, I might have done it just to watch him squirm. Edward was taking all the new attention with a grain of salt, and it made him that much more attractive to the herd. I received several notes to pass on to him; they promptly ended up in the trash can. Rosalie was just about the only girl who was not interested in being Edward's first kiss. Thank goodness our little clique seemed to be immune to Edward's new fame.

"Hi Bella," Jessica called out to me as I entered our shared English class.

"Hey Jess," I said, sighing. The politeness was wearing off and it had only been three days. In a few weeks I figured I might have to punch her in the ovaries if she didn't leave me alone.

"Hi Edward," Jessica sang, ignoring me now that my brother was there.

"Hey," he said shooting a smirk at her that cause anger to rise up in me.

He took his seat next to mine at the double desk. He smiled his full smile at me but dropped it when he saw the look on my face.

"What's the matter, Sweetpea?" He asked, using the nickname my parents gave me as a child. He used to tease me with it but now it was almost a strange term of endearment. I was, however, forbidden to use his childhood nickname under any circumstances.

"You shouldn't encourage her," I said, subtly motioning to Jessica, "unless you are interested." He stared at me for a moment with a contemplative look on his face before I started panicking. "Oh god! Jessica?"

Edward let out a laugh. "No, no. But that was funny watching you squirm for a minute. Why does it matter anyway?" He asked, suddenly serious.

"Uh, well," I started, "I don't really want her hanging around our group. You deserve someone much more interesting than her."

"So I should find someone more like you?" He asked almost quietly.

"Well, you'll never find anyone as awesome as me, but yeah, you should set the bar high," I teased.

Edward's face seemed pained for a minute before we were interrupted by the teacher. I saw Jessica trying to get Edward's attention during class and he never noticed her. It made me feel good and I refused to dig deep and discover why.

Edward and I headed down the hall together; we both had gym next period and we were headed that way before a fury of blondness blocked our path.

"Hi Eddie," said the blonde.

"Hi Lauren," Edward said, shooting that same smirk. I could see Lauren's eyes brighten and I just wanted to wipe that smirk off his face. I began to notice that I seemed to be having a lot more violent thoughts since Edward started at my school.

To have said I disliked Jessica would be an understatement, but to have said I hated Lauren would have been kind. At the tender age of fifteen, Lauren had given no less than ten different guys blowjobs. I know, you think that maybe these are just rumors. Nope. Not only did she perform such acts, she also recorded them on her web cam and posted them on her MySpace page. Sometimes I think Primetime should ignore the predators for an episode and come after girls like Lauren. They are their own brand of predator.

"So, Jessica and I are having a party on Saturday. My parents will be out of town so we will be able to do whatever we want," she said with a wink, "you wanna come?"

I choked on a laugh at Lauren's double entendre. Edward covertly elbowed me in the side.

"I don't know, you want to go Bella?" he asked me. Lauren gave me the pleading eyes.

"Yeah probably, we'll let you know," I responded.

Lauren jumped up and down and squealed a little. "Great see you there." Her comment was directed only to Edward.

"Well that was interesting," Edward said as we continued to class.

"That wasn't the kind of interesting I meant," I replied. "Look Edward, you should know that Lauren has a reputation. And if you do anything, just be careful, cause it could end up on the internet."

"Bella? Seriously? I would hope you would know me better than that. I have a bit more self respect than to fall for someone like Lauren Mallory. Her reputation is spread through more than just this school."

That comment made me glow with pride for my brother.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"I can't believe I don't have a single class with anyone but Rose this term," Emmett said, the pout he sported looked ridiculous on his broad face. He still had some of his baby fat left but he spent the summer lifting weights and his body was starting to become quite muscular.

"Thanks so much, jerkwad," Rose retorted.

"That's not what I meant and you know it," Emmett replied stealing one of her fries off her plate. "I guess I'm probably still better off than Edward."

"Actually Edward is in my English class and my gym class," I replied.

"How did you swing that?" Jasper asked.

"Well they kinda skipped me ahead in English based on my grades and Bella failed gym last year so she is in my class," Edward replied.

"Hey you weren't supposed to tell!" I shouted over the last of his sentence, trying to drown him out. My friends weren't fooled and they started snickering at my expense.

"Who fails gym?" Emmett barked out still laughing.

I folded my arms and sat back in a huff. I had been embarrassed about failing gym and I hadn't told anyone but my parents and Edward. I felt a little betrayed that he would tell them so bluntly.

Edward slung his arm around my shoulders and leaned in. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I thought they knew." His tone was sincere and even though we teased each other I knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt me on purpose.

"So did anyone else hear about Thing 1 and Thing 2's party?" Rosalie asked changing the subject.

"Yeah, are we going?" Mike asked excitedly. His voice made me jump as I didn't even realize that he was sitting next to me.

"Sure, why not?" I replied.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"Hey what are you wearing to….oh shoot sorry," I blurted as I walked into Edward's room, finding him sans pants. My eyes took a moment longer than appropriate to deviate and then a blush rose up on my cheeks.

"Whatever, it's not like I'm naked," Edward scoffed, obviously unaware what the big deal was, "you've seen me in less."

"Just cause I saw your penis in the bathtub when I was two doesn't mean I need to see it now," I retorted turning bright red. Edward just chuckled to hide his own embarrassment and pulled some pants on.

"So what did you barge in here for then?" He asked.

"I just wondered what you were wearing to the party tonight." I brought my gaze back to him as he pulled a green t-shirt over his head. It was nothing special but it hung nicely on him.

"Uh, this?" he responded.

"Oh, okay. Thanks." I felt the lame comment hang in the room before turning and walking out of the room.

I headed back to my room and opened my closet door. I really only had one close girlfriend but Rosalie looked hot no matter what she put on, so she was really no help dressing me. She offered me use of her closet, but with our differing skin and hair tones, our color palates didn't really mesh. Regardless of being pale I couldn't pull of any ivory tones, only stark white.

I pulled out a deep red, fitted t-shirt and threw on a pair of black pants with cargo pockets. I took a look in the mirror and then exchanged the red top for a green one. It was gathered in the bust and then flowed loosely down to my hips.

A knock sounded on my door followed by a voice, "You ready?"

"Yup," I said opening the door to find Edward standing there. He had gel in his hair and it looked a little like when he woke up in the morning, only crazier. I would have laughed at it on anyone else, but like everything, Edward was able to pull it off. Not just pull it off, he owned it.

"So, did you ask so you could match me?" He asked cocking his eyebrow. I looked him up and down; I didn't even realize his jeans were black. After seeing his boxers I hadn't let my eyes drift that low again.

"Oh crap, I didn't even realize, I can change…"

"No," he said cutting me off, "I don't mind. We can give Jasper and Rose a run for the cutest siblings tonight." He looked down and away suddenly leaving me feeling weird.

"Okay then, let's go."

Edward followed me down the stairs and we said a quick goodbye to the parents. The benefits of living in Forks were that most everyone lived within walking distance. Well okay, not everyone, but most of the people we associated with did.

We picked up Rose and Jasper about two blocks away from our house. They were waiting on the corner of their street. Then, about a block away from Lauren's house, Emmett and Mike came bounding down the street.

As we were walking I couldn't help but wonder what we would look like in slow motion. Would we be all cool with our hair blowing in the wind, walking along with a swagger or… the thought was interrupted by me falling in very fast motion.

Edward grabbed a hold of my one arm and Mike grabbed the other one.

"Hey, I got ya," Mike said and Edward let go.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

Jessica answered the door when we knocked. "Edward!" She chirped. "And everyone else, come in."

"After you, guest of honor," I teased waving Edward in. He scowled at me before taking the lead but then muttered, "Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful."

"Hey guys, I'll be right back," Emmett said, taking off into the room. I vaguely heard him calling someone's name before transferring my attention elsewhere.

"Drinks are in the kitchen, help yourselves," Jessica said, standing all together too close to Edward for my liking.

"Do you want something to drink Bella?" Mike asked me.

"Uh sure, just get me whatever you are having." Mike smiled at me and then took off towards the kitchen.

Emmett bounded back before Mike returned with a cup in his one hand and a tiny girl on the other. She looked like she must have been nine years old. She was tiny, with a short, black bob and big round eyes.

"Hey everyone, this is Alice. Alice, this is everyone," Emmett said introducing us.

I looked at Emmett curiously. Why had he run off to find someone's sister?

"Hi Alice, I'm Bella," I said politely.

"Alice is in my math class," Emmett explained. My eyes grew wide as I appraised her again.

"Hi everyone, Emmett has told me so much about you. You must be Rosalie," she said winking at Rose.

"That's me," Rose answered.

"And you, you're Edward. And I must say the gossip has not done you justice." Her words were kind and not spoken with agenda.

"What gossip is that?" Edward asked curiously.

"Oh just how hot you are and how nice you hair is and such….girl stuff," she stated matter of fact then directed her attention to Jasper. "Now I'm pretty sure you aren't Mike so that means you are Jasper."

"Hi Alice, it's nice to meet you." Jasper's tone was soft and I turned to look at him only to see his face matched his words. He was gazing at Alice like she was a basket of kittens.

"Well Alice, I think we are going to be good friends," I said pulling her closer into the group.

Mike returned then with my drink and we introduced him to Alice. I took a swig from my cup only to realize it was beer. I choked a little before I felt a hand rub my back. It felt nice but I didn't want Mike to be touching me so tenderly. I knew he liked me but I wasn't sure I wanted to change our relationship. I turned to see it was Edward's hand on my back and I smiled.

"Take it easy tonight, okay?" He asked.

"Sure, whatever," I replied nonchalantly.

Our group split up as we wandered around, chatting with new acquaintances from our classes. Mike never strayed far from me, always checking back to fill up my drink.

**EPOV**

The party was different than I expected. The gang had went to a couple last year but mom didn't let me go, saying: 'you'll have plenty of time to go to high school parties when you are in high school.'

I expected drinking, but I also expected debauchery and fights. I guess I had been watching too much Animal House. Everyone was fairly well behaved, maybe just a bit sillier. I was not drinking. I wanted to be able to go to another party again and my mom found out everything. Our group had broken apart to mingle a bit. I kept checking back on Bella seeing where she was. I told myself that I felt protective because she was my sister, but my brain wasn't buying it.

It seemed no matter how long I looked away I would be able to find her in an instant. It was like she had a giant spotlight on her showing me the way. I figured it must be a sibling thing.

"Hey Jasper," I said catching up with my friend.

"Hey," he replied.

"Where's Rosalie?" I asked, testing my theory.

He scanned the crowd for a minute before shrugging. "I don't know." Jasper tipped his glass to me and then walked over to chat with another guy.

I found an empty chair and sat down, feeling a little bored. I much preferred hanging out in small groups.

"Hi Edward." The sweet voice barely registered above the party noise.

"Hi Irina," I replied, looking up at her.

"Are you having fun?" She asked.

"Not really," I said honestly.

She laughed. "Me either. So I was wondering if maybe you would like to go catch a movie together sometime?" she asked fidgeting.

"Uhm," I paused unsure of what to say. She was a nice girl and there was no reason to not go out with her. "Can I think about it?" I felt like a douche saying it but I couldn't give her an answer.

"Sure, uh, yeah. Okay, I will talk to you later then," she said awkwardly. She started to walk away and I grabbed her hand.

"Irina?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks for asking," I replied. She gave me a small smile and I returned it.

After Irina left I stood up and glanced around, looking for Bella. Mike was still shadowing her and she looked like she was having a good time. She looked over and caught my eye, smiling and waving. She was obviously not worried about drinking, she looked drunk.

I felt a clammy hand run down my arm followed by a scratchy voice. "Hi Edward, are you having fun?" I am sure that Lauren had meant for her comment to sound seductive but she sounded like a little girl playing in something she didn't understand.

"Uhm," I started but was cut off.

"Do you want to come up and see my room, I have my own computer."

Even with all the attention I had been receiving in the short time I had started school, I was still inept at letting girls down gently.

"I'm just going to grab a drink and then I'll come find you okay?" I said hoping that would buy me some time.

"Okay, I'll just wait for you over here," she said pointing to the base of the stairs.

I did my best to give her a smile before heading towards the kitchen. Luckily for me the kitchen had a door that lead out to the back yard. I took the opportunity to hide outside for a while.

The weather was chilly and I had left my jacket in the house, but there was no way I was about to risk running into Lauren if I went back in. I grabbed one of the lawn chairs and tucked it off the side of the deck. I figured that no one would find me there.

As always, when I was alone, my thoughts would drift to Bella. My head knew my thoughts and feelings for my sister were wrong but my heart couldn't grasp it. I would remember small things she had done for me growing up. The simplest things, like sharing her M&M's with me, felt monumental.

"Edward, is that you?" Bella's voice startled me from my daydreams. The real thing assaulted my senses much more effectively than my daydreams.

I turned to see her stumbling down the stairs of the deck. I hopped up and grabbed her arm guiding her down safely.

"What are you doing out here?" Bella asked.

"One might ask you the same thing," I replied.

"I was looking for you. Lauren is on the warpath in there," she giggled.

"Are you drunk?" I asked, pulling up a chair for Bella to sit.

"Nooooooooo, well, maybe a little," she responded laughing. Her face turned serious for a moment. "Did you really tell Lauren you would go up to her room with her?"

Shame coursed through me as I noticed the hurt look on Bella's face. "I didn't know what to say so I told her I was getting a drink and then I came out here to hide." Bella burst out laughing. She was most assuredly drunk. "Besides, I already told you, Lauren is not my type."

"Who is your type?" Bella asked, leaning dangerously close to my face. I could feel her breath on my skin, and although it smelled of cheap liquor, it was still heavenly.

I cleared my throat and sat back saying, "One as great as my Sweetpea sister. Come on, let's get you home."

I slung my arm around her shoulders and we headed home. I felt very protective of her and it only got worse after that.

**E/N- **Thanks everyone for reading. Please review.


	4. Chapter 3

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars, Who has stories of her own, so go read.  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

Chapter 3

BPOV

My sixteenth birthday came and went. My flat iron was a hit, and along with permission to start wearing makeup from Renee, I was starting to feel a little less like an ugly duckling.

I sat on my bed reading when my cell phone buzzed. I picked it up, uttering a distracted hello.

"Bella, it's Emmett," he said boisterously.

"Hey Em, what's up?" I asked, putting my book down.

"Do you know Kate McDonald?"

"Sure, she's a cheerleader right?"

"Yes, yes she is," he replied smugly, "but more importantly, she is my new girlfriend." If I hadn't known better I would have thought I heard a small squeal.

"Hey, isn't she the girl that dropped Jell-O on Rosalie last year?" I asked.

"Uhm, I don't know. Crap, I am glad I called you first then. I will tread lightly when I talk to the twins."

"So the fact that she harassed one of your best friends doesn't matter, you're still going to date her?"

"It's Kate McDonald, Bella. She is freaking hot!"

"Nice Emmett, real nice."

The conversation after that was brief. When I hung up, I heard Edward's cell ring across the hall. Emmett was pretty proud he bagged himself a hottie and he was making sure we all knew about it. Too bad the girl was a first class bitch.

I knew that my friends would not approve of Emmett's new love match. Not in the way we approved of Alice and Jasper. They were inseparable since the night of Lauren's party and I had the sneaky suspicion that Alice stamped Jasper's V card. She was a nice girl, but we really didn't see too much of her; they spent most of their time alone.

A single knock came at my door before it was pushed open. Edward stood there a moment before storming over and falling onto my bed beside me.

"Kate! Kate McDonald, can you believe him?" Edward asked. I was taken aback by how upset he seemed over the situation.

"Yeah, she's pretty horrible," I replied trying to concentrate on anything but the feeling of heat coming off his skin.

"She is more than horrible, Bella, she is using him."

"What do you mean? To get at Rose? I knew she dropped that Jell-O on purpose."

"No Bella, Kate asked me out last week. She is using Emmett to get to me."

I was stuck in the middle of two strong feelings. The first one was jealously or anger, I'm not sure which. I know there had been girls throwing themselves at Edward, but I thought he would tell me if any of them actually asked him out. The second was a protective feeling I felt for Em. I always defended my friends.

"How do you know that she just didn't decide to move on? You said no after all." My tone was petulant.

"Come on, she moves on to my only single guy friend? Pretty fishy if you ask me."

I choked on a laugh. "Did you just say fishy?" I snorted.

Edward's head shot to mine before snarling and throwing himself at me. His hands grabbed my sides and started squeezing. My laughter became louder.

"Stop, stop I can't breathe," I said through his tickles.

Edward eventually eased off, and while my stomach hurt from the laughing, the rest of my body missed the contact. I shook off the feeling and scolded myself for letting my teenage hormones override my sense of morality.

Edward rolled over and stared at the ceiling. I looked over at his face before deciding the safest thing to do was the same.

"How come you said no to Kate?" I asked, my voice almost a whisper.

"She's not the right girl for me," he replied.

"Yeah, you need someone nicer."

"Irina asked me out," he said.

"Oh," I said trying to hide my disappointment, "she's nice."

"Yeah, I'm just not sure if I like her that way, you know?"

"Yeah, I know."

We laid there for a while, just quiet. His scent was starting to invade my room. He was one of those guys who smelled naturally good. Of course he used deodorant and soap, but those things only seemed to enhance his natural smell, not mask it.

"Bella?" He said, his voice breaking through the quiet of the room.

"Yeah?"

"How about you? Is there anyone you are interested in?"

"Not really," I responded noncommittally.

"What about Mikey, he seems to like you pretty good."

"Yeah, he's a good buddy. The problem with dating in our group is what would happen if it didn't work out? It would tear us all apart. It would have to be so right before I even considered it, you know? I just don't think Mikey is the one."

"Bella, it's high school, it is so unlikely that any of us will find 'the one' in high school. And as for the group, I think we are strong enough to handle it. Even if we're not, it would be Mikey that gets voted off. He is the weakest link, goodbye." I laughed at Edward's attempt at humor and a British accent; he was such a geek sometimes. "Are you sure there isn't someone else, someone that is keeping you from finding temporary happiness with Mikey?" He tried to make his voice lighthearted but I heard an inkling of something else in his question.

"The ones I want are never available to me," I said. It was the closest I would come to a confession for a long time. It felt awful and it ripped at my heart. He didn't know and he couldn't ever know. It was wrong. They were my sinful thoughts and I would bear them alone.

My body was hyper-aware of Edward's as we lay side by side. I slipped my arm over his and my body calmed immediately. I closed my eyes as I slowly drifted to sleep. I was just about unconscious when a small knock came at the door.

Renee popped her head in. "There you two are. Dad and I just made popcorn and we are going to watch a movie. Why don't you come down too?"

"Be right there," Edward responded, picking only his head up off the bed. Renee closed the door and Edward's head dropped back down to the pillow.

"Okay Sweetpea, enough hanging out in our own world. Let's go join the 'rents."

EPOV

I could feel her softness pressed against my hardness and I bucked a little to test it out. Her moan let me know that I was doing things right. Her hair was underneath her, leaving her shoulders and breasts bare. She was a sight to see, the most beautiful woman in the world.

I tugged harder at my erection, trying to cum. I wanted to stop this fantasy before I actually thought about having sex with Bella. It was one thing to dream about it, that I had no control over, but to actively put her in one of my fantasies was sinful. I was lucky and it was the hand for the win. I sank back on my bed and grabbed some wet ones from the night stand. I cleaned myself off and stared at the ceiling, my breath still ragged from the session.

If I actually went out with Irina, I wondered if these thoughts would stop. Something both thrilled and scared me at that thought. I wondered what it would be like when Bella started dating. I tried to picture her with someone like Emmett; football player, all muscles, someone that could keep her safe. I immediately abandoned that line of thinking. Then I wondered about her with someone like me. She could find a quiet guy that would worship the ground she walked on. Maybe he would even look like me. That sent nausea rolling into my stomach. I didn't think I could handle that. If she were to choose someone like me it would only reiterate the fact that if our situations were different, she would choose me. It only made it hurt that much more.

Then I thought about Mikey Newton. He was a good friend and a decent guy, but he was so far out of his league when it came to Bella, it made me snicker. I thought that Bella dating Mikey would provide me with amusement and no real jealousy. I thought wrong.

"Edward, are we going or what?" Bella screamed through the door. I bolted up and pulled on my pants.

"Yeah, I'll be right out."

With Emmett dating Kate, and Jasper dating Alice, Bella and I had taken to spending more time together. Alone. Rose had taken up so many extracurricular activities that she was hardly around. Bella was avoiding spending time alone with Mikey.

We decided to take the thirty-minute walk to the movie theatre instead of taking a bus. Bella liked to tease me about my germ phobia. I didn't think I was being unreasonable, buses are disgusting.

We had taken to linking arms while we walked. It was innocent and yet I enjoyed the contact. We were walking past the elementary school when I felt Bella tug on my sleeve.

"Do you really want to go to the movie? Let's play instead." While I tried to ignore her words, I knew my brain was cataloguing them for later.

I looked over at her face and saw the innocent girl. She had her bottom lip between her teeth and she was looking so expectant I didn't have the heart to say no.

Bella saw the defeat in my face and smiled. She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the swings. As soon as our bums hit the seats we settled into an easy silence that we had perfected over the years. The sun was setting and the orange light that was emitted from the sky was bringing out the red in Bella's hair. She looked stunning. Someone other than me was going to notice any day, so I put my plan in motion.

"So when are you going to give poor Mikey a chance?" I chuckled on the inside, still thinking this was the best plan for my sanity.

"So you really think I should give him a chance?" Her voice was quiet, and if I didn't know better, she sounded a little hurt.

"Sure, he is a good guy Bella, what do you have to lose?"

"Uhm, I guess nothing," she replied. The twinge in my chest should have been the first clue that this was a bad idea.

We swung for a while longer before a rumble in Bella's stomach alerted me to the fact we hadn't eaten.

"Do you want to go grab a bite?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said, hopping off the swing.

We emptied our shoes of sand before directing ourselves to the Fork's diner. It was a small place that they kept well cleaned and the food was all homemade. All the kids in town wished for an IHOP or something like that, but I thought our diner outshined all of those chain restaurants.

"Hey, just grab a seat and I'll be right with you," the waitress said.

The booths were empty so we chose one of those, sitting together in the back. I grabbed the only menu on the table and opened it so both Bella and I could read it. Not that the selections ever changed.

"Hello, can I start you off with a drink?" The waitress winked at me and ignored Bella. I felt my blood start to boil.

"What do you want Bella?"

"Coke," she said quietly.

"Two Cokes," I repeated louder. The waitress left and I sat there, seething.

"What's the matter?" Bella asked me, her eyebrows furrowed.

"That waitress is flirting with me," I stated indignantly.

"So? It happens all the time, Edward. What's the big deal?"

"She doesn't know you're my sister. It's in poor taste to flirt with a guy when he is out with another girl." Bella broke out laughing. It was not the reaction I was anticipating.

"Edward, she goes to our school. She knows I am your sister. Everyone in town knows I'm your sister. How can you be the only person in Forks that doesn't know everybody?"

"Whatever, it's still rude. I am out with someone and that should be respected."

"Oh Edward, you set the bar so high. How will any man live up to you?" Her words would have warmed my heart if there wasn't sarcasm seeping through each syllable.

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"Edward, Bella, can I see you in the kitchen please?" Mom's voice rang out through the house. I hit save on the document I was working on for school and closed the window before heading downstairs.

Bella was sitting on the couch texting while my parents stood in front of the unlit fireplace. She looked up when I entered the room but then went back to her texting. Her phone beeped and she laughed.

"Emmett," she mouthed, giving the only explanation necessary.

"Your father and I have something we want to tell you." Nothing good ever comes from a conversation that starts this way. "We figured you two are growing up and probably don't want to spend too much time with us anymore…"

"That's not true mom," I cut her off. She waved her hand at me as if to signify that it didn't matter.

"We want to take you kids on a nice trip for spring break."

Bella and I exchanged nervous glances. The last 'nice trip' Charlie and Renee took us on was to the Grand Canyon. Sure, it was nice to see it, but the thirty odd hours in the car with Charlie and Renee bickering over directions wasn't worth the view.

"Where we going?" Bella braved to ask.

"Hawaii," Renee screamed bouncing up and down, "the Newton's went last year and loved it."

I understood immediately that this was a keeping up with the Jones' kind of thing but I couldn't bring myself to care. We were going to Hawaii. And I refuse to admit the first thing that popped into my head was the thought of Bella in a bikini.

Bella's phone rang. "Sorry, are we done?" She asked, checking the caller ID. Renee made a sweeping gesture as if to say 'go on.'

I followed Bella out of the room, hearing her conversation as I followed her up the stairs.

"Oh hi Mikey," she said, "uhm yeah I have been thinking about it….." She closed her door before I heard anymore. Was this it? Would Bella be dating Mikey? Suddenly the amusement I felt about the situation was gone. I needed a distraction.

"Hi Irina," I said when she picked up her phone, "it's Edward. I've been thinking about you offer and I wondered if it was still on the table?"


	5. Chapter 4

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars, Who has stories of her own, so go read.  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

**A/N- Thanks to the ladies at the Fanfic****Anon group on facebook for the help with this chapter. This one is for you!**

**Chapter 4**

**BPOV**

I opened the front door and was greeted by a face full of red roses. While not really my style – I much prefer an exotic mix of flowers – I couldn't fault him for trying.

"Hi Mikey," I said, motioning for him to come in. He was dressed much like he was every day, in jeans and a tee-shirt, but I could tell he spent some time on his hair. It was clear to me that Mikey would never be a hair stylist.

"Hey Mikey," Edward called smugly from the couch. I hadn't even heard him enter the room; the boy is like a ninja sometimes.

"Hi Bella. Hi Edward," he responded.

"Uhm, do you want to come in for a minute? I'll just put these in some water." I gestured to the flowers and then walked away, not waiting for a response.

I came back into a silent room. Edward was ignoring Mikey, watching the TV instead. The smirk on his face told me he wasn't paying attention to the sappy chick flick in front of him.

"So, uh, what do you want to do tonight?" Mikey asked nervously.

Before I could answer, Edward spoke up, "You didn't plan anything? Aw Mikey, that is dating 101."

"Don't be mean Edward. I wouldn't listen to him Mikey, he got all his ideas from watching Hitch," I replied glaring, at Edward. "Let's just go, we'll figure something out."

Mikey stepped in front of me and grabbed the door handle. He walked through and I followed. I heard Edward chuckling behind me as I left. I rolled my eyes and refused to acknowledge the fact that even my brother held the door for me.

"Are you hungry?" Mikey asked as we headed down towards the main strip.

"I could eat," I responded.

Mikey and I had hung out many times before but this was the first time it was alone. Coupled with the pressure of changing our relationship from friends to more, I was feeling a little awkward. There was a charge that was between us, but not at all like the one with Edward, this one was uncomfortable, and to be honest, like a bad itch. Edward was like a warm fleece jacket and Mikey was a scratchy wool sweater.

We entered the Forks diner and grabbed a booth in the back. I noticed it was a different waitress on than the last time I was here. Mikey sat across from me in the booth and picked up the lone menu. I sat there restlessly as I waited for him to finish. He handed me the menu when he had chosen his selection and I took a quick look, already knowing what I felt like.

"Hi," the waitress said, smiling at Mikey. I started wondering if this place only hired floozies. "Can I get you something to drink?"

Mikey pulled out his biggest smiles for the curly haired brunette. "Yeah, I'll have an ice tea," he said enthusiastically. They stared at each other for a few seconds before she turned to me; I ordered a Coke.

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"Then he did what?" Edward asked, his face red from laughter as we sat on his bed, discussing my date.

"She gave him her phone number and he took it," I said, unable to stop myself from finding the humor as well, "then he said, 'look Bella, can you believe this? I get seen with a pretty girl and then all of a sudden I'm valuable real estate.'"

Edward keeled over, lying on his side. Tears were streaming down his face. "Oh wow Bella; please tell me you didn't kiss him." I stayed quiet a moment, remembering the end of our date. Edward's head popped up and he looked at me seriously. "Bella?"

"No, no, I didn't kiss him." Edward let out a sigh of relief. "But I did agree to another date."

"Why? So you can help him troll for more numbers?" Edward said, breaking out into a laugh again.

"Oh, shut it!" I said, slamming a pillow into his head.

The second date with Mikey went marginally better than the first. We went to the movies, and even though he ended up spilling some ladies drink and then his popcorn all over me, it was still a good time. The problem was we were still acting like friends. I don't know what I expected, but I thought maybe there would be some sort of change in me, that I would develop an attraction to him, but it wasn't happening. We ended the night with a hug.

I sat on my bed and thought about Mikey. He had always been really sweet to me but the attraction I felt to him was minimal. Maybe if I kissed him things would change. I just wasn't sure that I wanted them to. But I did, right? I wouldn't be going out with Mikey if I didn't want things to change.

I knew we were leaving in two days for Hawaii, and maybe the thought of being away for a week made me brave, but I promised myself that I would kiss Mikey when we got back. He would be my first kiss. Little Mikey Newton was going where no man had gone before. Huh.

A knock on my door alerted me that Renee was coming in. Her quiet rap was as identifiable as her fingertips.

"Hey Mom," I said, looking up at her from my bed.

"Bella, there is something I think we need to talk about."

"Okay," I replied, confused.

"You've gone out with this Mikey twice now." I laughed in my head at her calling him 'this Mikey'; she had known him for years.

"Yeah, it's not really a big deal though."

"Bella, don't think I don't know what goes with girls your age. People talk." I couldn't hold in the small chuckle at that. Renee was the worst gossip I knew. "Anyway, while your father and I would love for you to wait until marriage, I know that it is unlikely in this day and age." I started to interrupt her but she held up her hand, so I let her continue. "Which is why I want to talk to you about birth control."

This was it; I was about to die from humiliation. I had just convinced myself that I was going to kiss Mikey and my mom already had me in his pants. Or him in mine. I let out a little shiver, it was much too soon to think about Mikey's boy bits.

Renee held up her hand showing, me a banana. I hadn't realized she had brought anything into the room with her. I looked at her quizzically until she reached and pulled a condom out of her pocket.

"Mom!" I croaked.

"Now Bella, it is not just the boy's responsibility to know this stuff. You need to know how to put on a condom as well."

She handed me the small foil package and the offending fruit. I was pretty sure I was never going to eat one again after this little 'lesson.' It didn't help that it was covered in brown spots and maybe wasn't as firm as it once was. I really hoped this wasn't commentary on my dad. She waited for me to tear open the package and remove the condom. It smelled funny. The scent was a mix between a tire and an old folk's home. I started to roll it on, but she stopped me, and showed me how to pinch the tip to get the air out. I was sure I would find this lesson helpful one day, but at that moment I just wanted to die.

"Good, now that you mastered that, we should talk about birth control pills."

"Mom, I am really not planning on having sex anytime soon," I said honestly, hoping to stop the lecture.

"I hope so Bella, but do you really want to come to me when you are? Wouldn't you rather take care of it now?" It was then I could tell that she was as uncomfortable as I was. And the woman did have a point. If I suddenly became sexually active I wouldn't want to go running to her and telling her I needed to go on the pill.

"Okay, let's do it," I said, putting on my game face.

**EPOV**

I rang the doorbell and then stuffed my hands in my pocket. I was unsure of how I felt. Irina was a really nice girl, and I considered her a friend, but I didn't know if I was attracted to her. She had medium length, blonde hair, and a slight pear shaped figure. She looked like she would grow up to have a curvy figure. Her skin was clear, which was always a bonus in high school, but I didn't feel that initial pull. Also, the fact that I knew Bella was at home getting ready for her second date with Mikey had me anxious.

"Hello?" A gruff voice said as the door opened. Standing in front of me was the Incredible Hulk. Okay so I may have been exaggerating a little, but when you are picking a girl up for a date, the last thing you want is a man the size of a Mack truck to open the door.

"Hi, I'm here for Irina," I said. Okay, it was more like a squeak. "I'm Edward."

The man stood there and eyed me up and down. I hoped that Charlie gave this same treatment to Mikey on his and Bella's second date; he hadn't been there for the first one.

"Come on in," he huffed after a minute of the date stare-down.

"Uh, thank you," I said, stepping into the foyer.

I heard footsteps on the stairs and I looked up to see my date coming down them. She looked very pretty. She had curled her hair and pinned it up on her head. She was wearing a pink sweater and a pair of tan pants. I should have been drooling, but all I could think of was how Bella hated the color pink.

I knew Mikey was taking Bella out on their second date, and I had no desire to run into them, so I decided to do something I was sure Bella would never do. Indoor ice skating. The last time she had been on the ice was when we took figure skating as children. She fell and broke her ankle, and then she screamed the whole way to the hospital, vowing to never step foot on ice again. It was very dramatic, even for a seven year old.

Irina spent the minutes from her house to the ice rink filling in the silence. While it wasn't awkward, per say, it wasn't as natural as it was with Bella. I chided myself for thinking of her again on my date.

I knew it was wrong, so why didn't it feel wrong?

"So Edward, tell me something about you?" Irina inquired as we arrived at the indoor rink.

"Not too many people know this, but I have six toes on one foot," I said. Irina looked at me and tried to hide the disgust on her face. She was doing a poor job at it. I broke out laughing. "I'm kidding."

"Oh, okay," she replied, raising her eyebrows.

When we were younger, Bella and I used to go around telling people we were deformed in some way. We thought it was hilarious; apparently Irina did not share our sense of humor.

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I walked Irina home after our date, pausing on her doorstep, unsure of whether or not I should kiss her. It didn't feel right so I bid her goodnight with a hug.

"Hey Edward," she called as I was half-way down the walkway.

"Yeah?"

"I hope we can do this again."

Before I could think about it I said, "Sure." She was a nice girl, but not quite right for me. Maybe she would forget about it while I was gone on vacation. One could only hope.

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"Edward, can I see you in my office?" Charlie's voice was clearly in cop mode. I immediately ran through any things I may have done in my head, wondering if I might be in trouble.

I sat down on the small brown armchair that was across from his small desk. He cleared his throat three times while pacing before taking a seat, only to stand up again and continue walking back and forth.

"Your mother told me you had a date tonight." He paused, although it was to search his own thoughts, not for an answer. He stood behind the desk, using it as an obvious barrier between us. "She thought we should have a talk. Man to man." I might be amused if it weren't for what I knew was coming next.

"Dad, we don't have to do this," I half-pleaded.

"Respect, Edward. Always show respect. Here," he said, throwing a pamphlet at me from the other side of the desk.

"Dad, this is a police flyer on rape!" I said, shocked. If someone were to observe this conversation, they might think I should have been offended, but the truth was, I knew that Charlie was doing his best. The man was much more comfortable shooting someone then talking about feelings.

"Don't forget Edward, no means no." And with that, Charlie left the room. I let out a sigh of relief; I had survived the sex talk.


	6. Chapter 5

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars, Writer of Please Forgive Me (Go and read it!)  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

**A/N- Thanks to everyone reading!**

Chapter 5

**BPOV**

Packing for Hawaii was more of a challenge then I expected. Living my whole life in Forks had not allowed me to accumulate much of a summer wardrobe. Renee took me to Port Angeles the weekend before the trip and we had picked out a few pairs of shorts and matching tank tops but I had forgotten a swimsuit. I did have one; the problem was it was from when I was twelve. The tiny bikini wasn't scandalous when I was all legs and arms but now that I had some bum and boobs it was a little provocative.

I held up the dark blue suit and scrunched my nose. I threw it into the suitcase figuring I would have a chance to pick up a new one when we were there. A nice one piece, maybe even with a skirt, maximum coverage would be my goal.

I tossed my bathroom bag in and closed the zipper. Charlie materialized moments later to grab my suitcase and take it down to the car. Edward and Renee were waiting when I came down the stairs. Edward shot me a small smile before grabbing mom's carry on and going out to the car.

We took a plane from Port Angeles to Seattle and then had to stay the night before leaving at six am the next morning for Honolulu. Charlie had found a cheap airport motel so we had two rooms, the girls in one and the boys in another. Even after a short flight, I fell asleep the moment my head hit the pillow.

I awoke the next morning to a moist finger in my ear. I smacked Edward's hand as I rolled over trying to get rid of the feeling.

"You're disgusting!" I said groaning.

"Takes one to know one," he replied. We both reverted to children on vacation, it was fun.

I hopped out of bed and Edward's head snapped away. I furrowed my brow and looked down. I packed for the island weather so I was wearing a small pair of shorts and a tank top. Edward was used to seeing me in flannel pajama pants and a long sleeve shirt, his reaction only made me feel more naked. I both wanted to hide and have him look at the same time.

I jumped in the shower not bothering to shave if I was just going to be growing stubble on a plane all day anyway. I threw on my travel pants and shirt, packing up the rest of my stuff as I waited for Renee. Edward had gone back to his own room and I heard a banging through the wall.

"Come on Edward, you've been in there twenty minutes. What are you doing in there?" Charlie called, his voice coming through the wall crystal clear.

"Geese dad, I'll be out in a minute," Edward's voice called back. His tone sounded embarrassed which only lead me to wonder what Edward was doing in the bathroom. My vanity wanted it to have something to do with my short shorts but I resigned myself to never knowing, it wasn't like he would tell me he was pleasuring himself in the bathroom.

We passed through security fairly quickly; the airport wasn't too busy at five am. They didn't have four seats close together so Edward and I sat at the back of the plane in row eighteen while Renee and Charlie sat together in row twelve.

Once we were airborne, Edward pulled out his IPod and splitter. I grabbed my earphones and we sat quietly listening to music for the majority of the short flight to Los Angeles. We had four hours to kill in the airport before our flight left for Honolulu so Edward and I played cards while Renee and Charlie did crossword puzzles.

We ended up with a similar seating arrangement as our last flight. Edward and I sat together and our parents sat eight rows a head of us.

"So how are things with Irina?" I asked Edward once the seatbelt sign was shut off.

"Good I guess," he replied, "how about you and Mikey?"

"Okay, things are kind of weird. We are just kind of working out the differences between being friends or more. You know?"

"Yeah, I know." We sat in silence for a few minutes before Edward spoke again. "So Charlie gave me the ole pep talk."

I nearly snorted my tiny plastic cup of orange juice out my nose. Edward and I had this competition going since we were ten. I was currently leading by one but he almost had me. Whenever one of us caused the other to spew their drink out of their nose gained a point. It brought a smile to my face thinking of the chocolate milk incident of last Christmas.

Priceless.

"What did he say?" I asked once I was able to swallow.

"He gave me a rape flyer and told me that 'no means no'."

"That is so dad," I said picturing the whole thing. "If it makes you feel any better, Mom gave me the talk too. She is putting me on birth control when we get back."

"What!" Edward said clearly angry. I had expected him to find it as amusing as me but I guess the thought of his sister having sex freaked him out.

"Relax Edward, it's not like I'm having sex. She just doesn't want me to be uncomfortable once I do start." I knew my voice sounded annoyed but it was a cover for the hurt I was feeling.

I stared at the back of the seat ahead of mine trying to sort through the slew of emotions running through me when Edward's soft voice broke my trance. "I'm sorry Sweetpea."

"Don't worry about it," I replied as honestly as I could.

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By the time we had arrived at the hotel I was feeling that layer of airplane scum that settles on your skin when you fly. I was looking forward to a hot shower and a warm bed. Edward and I were given our own keys for the room and I was the one to unlock the door. I wheeled my suitcase into the room and took a look around.

"Hey dad, they forgot Edward's cot," I said noticing the two queen beds in the room. Charlie mumbled something under his breath before dropping his bags off at the door and heading back down to the front desk. "Anyone have to pee, cause I'm taking a shower," I announced while opening my suitcase and pulling out my toiletries.

When I emerged from the shower Charlie was sitting on the end of the bed in front of the TV switching through the channels. Edward was laying on my bed with his earphones in and Renee was unpacking her things in the drawers. 'It's not relaxing to live out of a suitcase,' she told me on a trip when I was around eight.

I had planned on jumping into bed when I got out of the shower so I had on my pajamas. I looked at Edward stretched out on my bed and wondered briefly what it would feel like to curl up next to him. He had his arms behind his head and the front of his hair hung down in his eyes. The confidence in his posture created mystery and allure. This was the first time I consciously wondered what it would be like to kiss my brother.

"Dad, when are they bringing Edward's bed up?" I asked startling Charlie.

"They made a mistake with the booking; they don't have any cots left. You two are going to have to share."

I snapped my head towards Edward and noticed he had a small smirk on his face. If I didn't know he was listening to his music I would have said he was happy about this development. However, that could have just been wishful thinking. I pulled back the covers and Edward stood up heading for the bathroom. When he returned he was dressed in his sleeping clothes. I should have made the connection in my head when I packed smaller pajamas. Edward was shirtless and wore a pair of pajama bottoms made of silk.

They were black, because I know anyone that reads this will want to know.

The normally large queen sized bed seemed to shrink as Edward slipped under the covers. He jostled the bed as he got into a comfortable position. He faced me on his side. I gave him a small smile.

"Goodnight Bella," he whispered.

"Goodnight Edward," I replied.

Under the blankets I slid my arm over his and succumbed to sleep.

**EPOV**

I may or may not have called the hotel a week ago before the trip and cancelled the cot. Nothing in this case has ever been proven but waking up with Bella's limbs intertwined in mine would have been reason enough.

I glanced at the clock and it read seven am. Charlie's rather robust snoring was still filling the room so I knew that he and Renee were still asleep. I wanted to gather Bella up in my arms and snuggle but I knew that there were too many ways it could go wrong. If either parent woke up and saw us like that there would be questions that I wouldn't want to answer, or worse, if Bella woke up I would have a lot of explaining to do.

I unwillingly pulled my arms and legs free from hers. I thanked my body for taking advantage of our unconsciousness and go after what it wanted. I couldn't be held responsible for what happened when I slept. I just wished I could remember all of it. Once I was free from the bed I ran my hands through my hair. I looked down at the sleeping angel asleep in my bed and smiled at her stillness. She was always the most beautiful when she didn't know anyone was looking.

I turned the shower on and began my morning routine. Even after practically being caught by Charlie the day before I couldn't stop myself from providing a release. I had noticed that my pajama pants had smelled of her and it drove me crazy. It was the sweetest torture to have her so close the night before, I wouldn't have traded it for anything.

By the time I exited the bathroom the rest of the family was up and about. Renee was making coffee in the tiny pot on the counter. The smell permeated through the room ridding it of Bella's scent. I scowled at the coffee pot and then noticed Renee giving me a strange look.

"Did the coffee pot do anything to offend you Edward?" She asked holding in a laugh.

"Naw, the coffee just stinks," I replied lamely. "So are we hitting the beach today?"

"I wanted to get a new suit before we went to the beach," Bella said rather panicked.

"You didn't bring one?" I asked.

"Uhm I did, but it's a bit old."

"Your father and I are going to the main desk and checking out what there is to do around here. Why don't you kids spend the morning on the private beach out front and we will meet up for lunch," Renee said while pouring two cups of coffee.

Bella and I exchanged a look. A morning without the parents on vacation was a great idea.

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We laid out our towels on the beach. It had taken close to an hour to get away from Renee. She had given us a long speech about looking out for one another, like I would be able to take my eyes off of Bella in a swimsuit. It had been a long time since I had seen her in one and I'm pretty sure I was still thinking girls were icky at that point. Bella undid the button on her shorts and I was unable to look away, I stared like a deer in headlights. The soft fabric of her brown shorts fell revealing the tiniest blue string bikini bottoms. I reasoned with myself, if the lord didn't want me to covet my sister he certainly would not be doing this to me. She pulled up her green tank top agonizingly slow. When her top was finally out of the way I took her in. She was stunning and she was the only girl in the world off limits to me, it wasn't fair.

I looked away and pulled off my own shirt leaving me in a pair of olive green Hawaiian swim trunks. I threw my shirt to the ground and when I looked back down at Bella, she was staring at me with an unusual look in her eye. I had never seen it before but it caused a fire in my chest.

"What?" I asked, unsure of what to do with her scrutiny.

"Can you do my back?" she asked pulling out the sunscreen from her bag. I wondered if I touched so much of her skin if I would be able to control myself but seeing as we were both near albinos I didn't have much of a choice.

I nodded and Bella flipped over, laying face down on her towel. I squirted the cream onto my hand before returning my gaze to my sister. I thought the word sister exactly twenty three times before I finished the task.

It didn't help.

When I finished doing a thorough job I said, "okay, now do me." The flush burned my cheeks as I realized what I had spoken. Bella looked up at me with her wide eyes and responded with, "Make sure you get your face, it's already getting red."

As we settled on our blankets I took a look around the beach. There were many young girls sunbathing. I knew that society wanted me to think tan skin was better but looking at the milky beauty lying next to me I think they were mistaken.

We met Renee and Charlie for lunch at the hotel. The buffet was plentiful in quantity but low in quality. Renee told us about a few of the activities that we could do while we were on the island. Bella wanted to go swimming with the dolphins and I just wanted to do whatever she was doing. We were split on the idea of a luau, Renee wanted the experience to tell all of Forks and Bella didn't want to eat anything with the head still attached. Eventually we decided that Bella and I would do our own thing and our parents would have a date night.

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Three days into our vacation and I was sorely looking forward to a night without the parents. Renee had decided to try and fix up a vacation fling for Bella, needlessly to say Charlie and I were vehemently opposed. Akoni looked willing but Bella just turned red and mumbled something about having a boyfriend. That earned her a scowl from Renee but I enjoyed the temporary pardon. I tried not to dwell on the fact that she had called Mikey her boyfriend.

"You kids behave, and just sign your dinner to the room," Renee said prancing around in her ridiculous Hawaiian print skirt. Charlie looked calm considering she had dressed him in a matching shirt.

"Yeah, yeah." Bella's muffled voice came through the bathroom door.

Renee gave me a kiss on the forehead and then they were off. I sat down on the bed and switch on the TV waiting for Bella. When she appeared my heart fluttered. She had chosen a dark green sundress with thin straps. Her cheeks were stained pink from her few days in the sun and she looked like an angel.

We decided that we would take a walk along the beach after dinner. There was a slight breeze and the rascally fifteen year old inside wished it would pick her skirt up a little higher. We settled down in the sand after a fifteen minute walk, dusk had past and the beach was dark. Bella in the moonlight was otherworldly.

"We didn't really get a chance to talk about your date with Irina. How did that go?" she asked. It wasn't something I really wanted to talk about sitting there with her but I was coming to find out I would never deny her anything, even a simple conversation.

"It was good, I guess," I answered.

"You asked me so I guess I get to ask you. Did you kiss her?" She refused to look at me while I answered.

"Why? Why do you want to know?" I asked suddenly curious of her motive.

"Well, it will be Mikey and my third date when we get home. I've never kissed anyone so I guess I am kind of nervous. I thought maybe you would be able to give me some advice."

My heart clenched at the thought of Bella's lips touching Mikeys'. I realized no matter how inferior the boy or how wrong he is for Bella, I would always be jealous of whom she was with.

"We didn't kiss," I said softly keeping my eyes on the ocean.

"I just wish there was some way to practice to try it out, without it being cheating, you know?"

"Well it wouldn't be cheating if it was your brother." The words slipped out of my mouth before I had a chance to rein them in. I couldn't look at her, the disgust in her face was something that I would remember forever. Instead, I said, "Forget it."

I made a motion to stand but Bella grabbed a hold of my arm. "Wait," she said, "that's not such a bad idea. I mean we could figure it out and then we won't be embarrassed and no one would ever know. It's kind of perfect."

I slowly turned my face to hers wondering if her words were in jest. The look on her face told me otherwise. She was serious; she wanted me to kiss her. I was going to get to kiss her; it was all I could do not to lunge at her.

"Okay."

I positioned myself on my knees and Bella did the same. I may have asked her one more time if she was ready but I don't remember. All I remember is the feel of her soft lips as I touched them with mine. I held myself there for a short moment before deepening the kiss. It was natural and easy, kissing Bella was like breathing but better. I heard a small whimper and my hormones kicked into gear. I pushed my tongue softly into her mouth.

Her body abruptly was ripped away from mine. If we hadn't have been alone for miles I would have thought that someone pulled her back. Her face looked panicked as she sat there wide eyed, her fingers touching the lips I had been enjoying. I wanted to apologize but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I would never regret what happened, it may be all I would ever get. I broke her gaze and looked back towards the waves crashing against the sand. When I looked back she had already stood up and was running back towards the hotel.

"Well, shit."

**E/N- Huge kisses to all those who read and tongue kisses for those who review. **


	7. Chapter 6

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars, Who has stories of her own, so go read.  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

Chapter 6

BPOV

As I lay in bed that night, replaying the kiss in my mind, I thought how unfair the world was. I was bridled with this attraction for my brother. I could hear his breath even out behind me and I knew he had finally fallen asleep.

Renee and Charlie had been back at the room when I arrived, providing me sanctuary from the discussion I did not want to have. Edward had burst in the door moments after me; his panicked face quickly became neutral when he had seen that our parents were there.

I noticed Renee watching us curiously throughout the short rest of the evening. It could have been due to the fact that Edward and I hadn't spoken a word to each other since returning from the beach.

I rolled over and studied his sleeping face. I would have to have been blind not to notice that Edward was attractive, but seeing him so peaceful in front of me, he was nothing less than a beautiful angel. I bit back at my feelings; words like _wrong, sinful,__and_ _abomination _alltore through my mind. I knew I had to get over my attraction, and I was going to have to distance myself from Edward to do it. Avoiding him physically would be impossible but I could do so emotionally. He didn't have to be my best friend. He couldn't be my best friend.

My heart ached at the thought of losing our close connection, but that was part of the problem. As I lay there, my fingers throbbed to touch him, his body so close, I could see his pulse beat from beneath his skin. My hand moved on its own accord, lightly brushing Edward's chest and relaxing on top of his heart.

The last resolution I made before falling asleep that night was to make sure after that trip, I would keep Edward out of my bed. The temptation was far too strong to resist.

Avoiding Edward for the rest of the week was easier than I expected. Just mentioning the word shopping had caused Renee to squeal and Charlie to recoil. Charlie had him and Edward booked on a fishing trip within the hour. Other than the supervised meals with the parents, I was able to dodge spending any time together.

Until the day of the flight.

We were left alone together in the hotel room while Renee and Charlie went down to confirm our shuttle to the airport. I all but begged to go with them but they were insistent that we stayed put. Knowing Renee, she probably thought we were fighting and needed time to work it out. If she knew the real reason, that I didn't want to be sharing space with Edward because I didn't know if I could keep my hands off of him, she likely would have let me go to the lobby with her.

The moment the door clicked, signifying it was closed, the air in the room became heavy. Edward paced back and forth a couple of times before sitting on the edge of the bed, putting his head in his hands. I stayed frozen like a statue, trying as hard as I could not to notice the way his pants hung low on his hips or the sliver of black boxer briefs that smiled at me as he leaned forward. I was definitely not going to notice the way his forearm muscles flexed as he fisted his hair in his hands. Nope, I didn't notice any of that.

"Are you ever going to talk to me again?" His voice broke the silence of the room and my heart started beating impossibly faster.

"I…we took it too far," I said, my breath the only thing carrying my voice out. He lifted his head and looked at me. He looked torn, like he hadn't expected me to speak and now he wasn't sure that he wanted me to.

"Maybe," was all he replied.

"It was weird, right? Kissing your sister?" I needed him to tell me it was wrong. If he said it was wrong, I would know that we just slipped up and we could recover.

"No," he said. It was only one, small word, but the rawness of his voice said everything he couldn't.

"But it's wrong," I said.

"I know." I didn't know if he felt the same as I did, I only knew what we both were well aware that no matter what, we couldn't be together. The thought made me want to cry.

The plane ride back was full, and there were only two seats together, so I told Renee and Charlie to take them, and Edward and I sat apart. Two orange juices and one bottle of water later, I was sorely in need of the lavatories. I hobbled up to the bathrooms in the middle of the plane, cursing myself for always waiting until the last possible minute to pee. I was closer to the rear ones, but I would have to pass Edward, and I had just successfully stopped fantasizing about him. One look at his face would start the vicious cycle again. There was one person ahead of me in line so I shifted back and forth, waiting for my turn. That is when I heard them.

"Something happened, Charlie, I can feel it."

"Renee, you always think 'something happened.'" I could picture my father rolling his eyes as he said this.

I hadn't even noticed that my parents had the seats in the row in front of the lavatories. I would like to say I felt bad for eavesdropping, but I was sixteen, so I didn't.

"Do you think it was a bad idea to keep it a secret?"

"Renee, I said from day one that it was a bad idea, but now I think it's too late…don't want to hurt…"

I strained to hear more but the flush of the toilet drowned out their suddenly hushed voices. I hadn't even noticed the person in front of me disappear but I took my opportunity and slipped into the tiny room.

Whatever it was that they were talking about, it was big. I had never heard such sharp tones between my parents. There was nothing that I wanted to do more than run back to Edward and see what he thought about it. Instead, I returned to my seat and pressed the call button and asked for another orange juice, obsessing over the secret conversation.

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"Hi Mikey," I said as I approached him. This was the night. I had been back from Hawaii for four days and had avoided a date with him until then.

"Hi Bella," he replied, his face lighting up like a tree on Christmas morning.

I would like to set the scene for you, but I honestly can't remember what we did on the date. It was usually date stuff that was mildly fun, resulting in my second first kiss. I do, however, remember the end. We stood on my porch awkwardly, Mikey much too shy to go for it. He turned to walk away and I grabbed his arm, causing him to stumble. He recovered before turning to face me.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Uhm, I'm gonna kiss you now," and then added as an afterthought, "Okay?"

"Okay," he replied.

I leaned in and he bent down. Our faces seemed to be moving in slow motion towards each other. I thought to myself, _this is it, this is the moment that things will really change._ When our lips met I expected the fire I felt with Edward's kiss, but all I got was the wood. Mikey's erection pressed into my hip bone as he stepped into the kiss. Our lips moved together. The kiss was nice. No tongue. No slobber. Fresh breath. Nice.

"Does this mean we are boyfriend and girlfriend now?" Mikey asked.

"I guess," I responded.

While Mikey wasn't Edward, he was the boy I was allowed, so I owed it to myself to keep trying.

**EPOV**

They say you never know what you've got until it's gone. While I have no idea who 'they' are, I am unnerved by the accuracy of their findings.

Bella's refusal to speak to me the first week back had wreaked havoc with my fantasies. No longer was I dreaming of sordid encounters of the flesh, I now laid awake at night, dreaming of talking to her. I wanted to sit next to her and feel her body heat again. Or watch a scary movie where she would squeeze my fingers until I couldn't feel them. I didn't have a lot, but what I did, I took for granted and now missed furiously.

It was obvious to me that she needed some time. The kiss had been pushed too far, and yet I knew I couldn't have stopped myself if I tried. I get that she was freaked out, but she kissed me back, so I figured I would give her some time and she would get over it. I started eating lunches with Irina, giving her the time and space to work through it.

I sat across from Irina and appraised her face, deciding she was the definition of plain. I thought at first she was pretty, but the truth was, there was nothing extraordinary about her. Her eyes were even, her nose was small, and her lips were perfectly proportioned. Bella's bottom lip was larger than her top, causing her to have a small pout even when her face was neutral; her eyes were large for her face, leaving me hopelessly lost in them. Irina's hair was dyed blonde, leaving the color monotone, while Bella's was natural and sun-streaked, looking like a muted rainbow of browns and reds. Irina was symmetrical, but Bella was interesting, her face told a story that invited you in. But here before me sat the girl I had decided to give a chance and I hadn't given her that yet.

"So Irina, do you want to do something tonight?" I asked her.

Her face beamed as she answered, "Yes."

"Okay, I'll come and pick you up around seven?"

"Sure," she replied still smiling; it was infectious and I couldn't help but smile back. I glanced over and thought I caught Bella looking over at us for a second. I let out a sigh and said goodbye to Irina, telling her I would see her later.

I walked out of the cafeteria and into the hallway. My locker was close and I had seen Kate standing there as soon as I walked out the door. I groaned and rolled my eyes but kept on course.

"Hi Edward," she said as I approached.

"Hey Kate," I replied, "how's Emmett?"

"He didn't tell you?" She purred. "We broke up over spring break. We wanted different things."

"Oh yeah and what was that?" I sounded bored but I was actually really interested in the fact that Emmett hadn't told me that they had broken up.

"Well I'm pretty sure he wanted that bitch, Rosalie, and I wanted you." I choked back a laugh. I couldn't decide what I thought was funnier, the thought of Rose and Emmett together or the blatant come on to me.

"I'm dating someone right now, Kate," I said, hoping that would deter her.

"Oh really? Who?" She asked.

"Irina," I replied. Kate laughed and shook her head.

"Call me when you're ready to play in the big leagues." She walked off, swinging her hips comically. I wonder if she would still want me if she knew I kissed my sister. I smirked to myself as I grabbed my books and headed for class.

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I dressed casually for my date with Irina. I wore the same jeans that I had worn to school but I changed into a white and black striped Billabong button down shirt. I found myself shifting self consciously on Irina's porch at about five minutes after seven. I knocked on the door hoping, that her father would be out tonight. The door opened and I let out a sigh of relief to see Irina standing there. She had changed since school and was now wearing a skirt. I couldn't help but notice I had no desire to check out her legs.

"You ready?" I asked, smiling.

"Sure," she replied.

I stared at the girl who held no attraction for me. I wondered if I was deluding myself into thinking I could date her. Would a kiss with her hold even a small percentage of the attraction that I felt with Bella? I decided not to waste anymore of either of our time.

She pulled the door closed and turned letting out a small yelp of surprise at my closeness. I pushed my body into her space, but there was no pull. Her body tensed slightly when she realized my intent. I leaned my chest down and brought my face just inches from hers. The electricity didn't spark, the only thing between us was air, and yet I closed the distance between us anyway. Her lips were warm and soft and I massaged them softly with mine. My hands were unsure of where to go, almost flailing before deciding to rest on her cheeks. I gave it a few more seconds before I backed off.

Irina stared up at me almost expectantly. She was a sweet girl, but I couldn't lie to her. "Listen, Irina, I like you a lot, but I have to be honest, I'm not really feeling it."

"Oh, thank goodness," she replied, exhaling. "I was scared I was going to hurt your feelings."

"So friends then?" I asked.

"Friends."

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Arriving at home, I felt kind of shitty. I knew that separating had been a mutual decision, but I felt like I had lost my buffer between Bella and me. I figured she would get over her desire for distance if she thought I was with someone else, no longer a threat to her. I walked up the stairs and paused at her door, wanting more than anything to go in and tell her about my night. I could almost hear her laughing at the kiss and my bumbling hands. Why couldn't I have felt like that when I kissed Bella?

I reached for her doorknob, pausing before deciding to just screw it and try talking to her. The knob wouldn't budge. She had never locked her door before. Bella didn't want me in there and it was the only place I wanted to be.

**E/N- Please review. **


	8. Chapter 7

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars, Are you reading her stories yet? Cause you should be.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

Chapter 7

BPOV

Before I knew it, the school year was ending and summer was upon us. Mikey and I had been dating for around three months; I honestly didn't keep track of the time. He had asked me to start calling him Mike. I think he thought the more mature name would get some boob time, but he was wrong. Not that we hadn't done a bit of groping, but it was all above the clothing. I tried to think of Edward while we were doing it, just so I could get into it, but even having never felt Edward's hands on my body like that, I knew Mike's small, clumsy hands were no substitute.

I was happy to be getting a break from school. Alice and Jasper had turned into one of those couples who spewed pet names at each other all day, and all it did was remind me of the fact that I hadn't heard Edward call me 'Sweetpea' in ages.

Time apart from my brother was not helping my attraction, if anything it was getting stronger. It seemed everything he did was erotic. One morning I came into the kitchen and he was drinking out of the milk carton, and the way his Adam's apple bobbed as the liquid coated his throat made my knees weak. Then there was the time I walked in on him playing a video game; he was so into it he was making these grunting noises that resulted in me having to take a cold shower.

I pulled the lasagna out of the oven; Mike was coming over for dinner. I had invited him because I knew Charlie and Renee were going out and I needed a buffer in the house with Edward. I set the dish on top of the stove, allowing it to cool. I popped the bread into the warming compartment on the bottom of the stove and then proceeded to make the juice.

"Hey, can I help with anything?" His honey voice didn't startle me; my body had learned to sense him when he was in the same room.

"Nope, I got it," I said, keeping my tone as clipped as possible.

"Okay," he replied. "Uh, Bella….I…" He was cut off by the doorbell and I let out the breath I was holding.

"I'll get it," I said, walking a wide circle around Edward to get out of the kitchen. I opened the door and greeted Mike.

"Hi Bella," he responded, giving me a chaste kiss. "It smells great in here."

I took him to the kitchen where I noticed that Edward had taken a slice of lasagna and left. I told the part of me that was disappointed to shove it, it's not meant to be.

The more you spend time with someone, the more you notice their little quirks, and the more those little quirks become giant annoyances. Mike for instance, talked with his mouth full. I tried to eat while watching him masticate, but it was repulsive. I wanted to keep my eyes on my plate, but for some reason I had the reaction of a deer in headlights, I couldn't look away.

"So my mom is taking us to the cottage for a couple weeks this summer," he said as the garlic bread rolled around his mouth. I tried to keep my lips from turning downward in disgust. It took me a minute to compute what he had said. Two weeks without him. It almost felt like a weight being lifted.

"That sounds like fun," I said, my enthusiasm real.

"Yeah, maybe your parents would let you come for a week."

"I doubt it, Charlie is really strict," I replied quickly, causing his face to fall. "But I'll ask," I backpedaled.

We finished up with dinner and then decided to watch a movie. I hadn't sat at my couch and watched a movie since before Hawaii. It was always my and Edward's thing to do; the couch looked empty without him. I took a seat next to Mike, leaving a small space. He had chosen an action movie that I knew like the back of my hand, which meant he wanted to make out.

Mike slid his arm around me and I adjusted into his side. I had to crouch down a little bit because our bodies never seemed to line up right. About fifteen minutes in, I felt Mike's hand trail down my arm. I shivered, but it was more due to the fact that the action tickled. He seemed to take it as a good sign so he leaned over and kissed my neck. I tilted my head to give him better access; it all felt very methodical.

"Bella, you're so beautiful," he said as his kisses traveled up my chin to my mouth.

We kissed for a while before I felt his fingers graze the skin of my abdomen. I tensed for a minute before realizing that there was nothing scandalous about a stomach. It was when his hand started travelling upwards that the panic kicked in. My heart started to thump and my eyes started to water. I sat back quickly, pulling his hand out of my shirt.

"What's the matter Bella? We've been dating for a while. I just want to make you feel good." If I wasn't so shocked I would have laughed; it was like a line from a skeevy guy in a harlequin romance.

"I'm not ready," I said, repeating the words I had uttered to him many times that past month.

"Bella, please," he said, shifting towards me.

"No!" I said rather firmly. I didn't believe he would press the issue but my instincts took over quickly.

"Bella? Is everything okay?" Edward asked, appearing in the doorway.

Mike's face looked hurt but he adjusted himself and stood up. "I was just leaving."

I should have told him not to go, but I was feeling tired so I walked him to the door instead. Edward stayed close behind me, his heat blazing into my skin. Ironically, it was causing the reaction Mike was trying so hard for just a few minutes earlier. His protective nature made me feel safe and more at home than I ever felt with Mike. We said our goodbyes from a distance. I shut the door after he left and turned to lean against it. Edward had left, giving me exactly what I needed but not at all what I wanted.

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The smell of eggs and bacon engulfed the kitchen. Mom and I were bonding over our kitchen stove; it was practically the only place that didn't breed awkwardness between us. My mood was exponentially better than it had been. The knowledge that Edward was still there to protect me as my brother made me feel lighter than I had been in months.

I put the last of the breakfast dishes on the table just as Edward sat down. He gave me a quick smile, and before I could control myself, I returned it. His eyes widened in surprise but then returned to the poker face I had been used to seeing.

"Hello," Charlie's voice bellowed through the room as he entered.

"My name is Inigo Montoya…" both Edward and I jumped in before catching each other's eyes and fading out. The Princess Bride was one of our favorite movies and we would use almost any situation to quote it if we could.

The familiar banter seemed to catch us both off guard so I positioned my eyes down as I had been doing when I was around Edward. I hadn't really looked at him in weeks, it was too painful.

The doorbell rang and I hopped out of my chair quickly, nearly shouting, "I'll get it."

Mike stood on the other side of the door with his hands clenched at his sides. "Hi," I said, hoping things weren't going to be too weird.

"Hey," he replied, "can we talk?"

I motioned to the bench on the porch and he sat down. I hesitated briefly before I joined him. His posture was bone straight and he seemed to be nervous. I wanted to say something to put him at ease but I couldn't think of anything.

"Listen Bella, I'm sorry about last night."

"Don't worry about it."

"Oh, okay," he said before falling silent for a few minutes. "I like you Bella, but I don't think we are right for each other."

I wasn't expecting this. I had been holding on to him for months when I knew I had no right to, assuming that he would stick with me. I felt hurt but I knew enough to know it was my pride that hurt, not my heart.

"I know," I replied.

"So, is that it?" He asked.

"I guess."

He let out a breath and smiled at me. "See ya around."

"Bye Mikey," I said quietly as he stood up and walked off.

EPOV

Bella likes to jump ahead, but I need to back up my portion of the story a few weeks. Every year our school did a trip abroad in the first three weeks of summer. I had never been out of the States and I was interested in the trip offered that year. It was a tour of Ireland and Scotland, and I had always been interested in seeing the Loch Ness Monster, well trying to, anyway. I would have loved to take the trip with Bella, but if she was going to refuse to talk to me, I figured it may hurt less if I had a three week break.

I approached my parents the same way any child does that wants something. I separated them and then went for the weaker of the two. I cornered Renee in the laundry room. Grabbing a towel, I started to help her fold. Anything to look helpful.

"Mom, there is something I want to ask you," I started, making my voice saccharine sweet. "It's a great learning experience."

"Out with it," she said, trying to hide her smile.

"The school trip abroad this year is to Ireland and Scotland and I would love to go."

"How much?" She asked, folding another towel. I was still on my first one and it was looking more like a triangle than a square.

"They have done a bunch of fundraising, so it's only fifteen hundred dollars. All I have to do is get my passport," I said, getting more excited.

Her eyes stayed neutral but I noticed her mouth make a small frown. I knew we didn't have a lot of money but I was sure that fifteen hundred wouldn't break the bank.

"I'll have to talk to your father." Her tone effectively ended the conversation.

I waited six days for their answer. I left little hints around the house; turning some Celtic music on, leaving four leaf clovers on their pillows, and I even started saying 'top of the mornin' to ya' in a horrible Irish accent. When they sat me down in the living room I knew it was bad news.

"Listen son," Charlie stated, "we just don't have the funds right now to let you go on this trip."

"And I can't find your birth certificate so we wouldn't be able to get you a passport in time," Renee chimed in. Charlie shot her a quick glare, and if I hadn't been so disappointed, I might have wondered what it was about.

"You lost my birth certificate?" I asked, feeling miffed.

"Of course not…it's around here somewhere….I just can't remember where," Renee stammered.

"It doesn't matter, Edward, we can't afford it, so that's enough about it." Charlie's authoritative tone stopped me from persisting.

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I sat in my room, feeling every bit the moody teenager I was. My mother's personality may have been flighty but she was meticulous with important things. Something didn't set right with the idea that she had lost my birth certificate. I knew that Renee kept all of our essential documents in the filing cabinet in Charlie's office. It seemed strange that she would lie about it, and that was enough of a reason to investigate.

Charlie was working the graveyard shift, so I waited until he left the house before leaving my room. I could hear my mother's snores down the hall. Bella and I had a running joke about which parent was louder. I missed her. I listened quietly outside of Bella's door, if this had been a few months ago, I had no doubt she would be out in the hall with me. Probably dressed in black and humming the theme song to Mission Impossible.

When I heard no noise I continued down the hall to my father's office. The door made an unusually loud creaking noise as I opened it. I held my breath and listened for any movement. After I was sure that no one had heard, I stepped into the room. I turned on the small lamp on the desk and pointed it towards the filing cabinet.

I slid open the drawer and gazed at the well organized files. My eyes swept passed the 'mortgage bills' and the 'appliance manuals' folders and settled on 'family documents'. I let out a quick sigh and pulled open the file. I went through paper by paper, only to find the birth certificates were clipped to the back of the folder. I took them off and began to look through them. Charlie and Renee's were older and done in a different format. Bella's was much smaller and laminated, and holding it made me feel closer to her for a moment. It only lasted a moment before I discovered that there were no more. Renee hadn't lied. She had lost my birth certificate. My only question was, how?

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"Hey honey, can you run your clothes up and put them away?" Renee asked, holding out a basket of clean clothes.

"Sure mom," I replied taking the basket from her.

It had been two weeks since I had gone looking for my birth certificate, and I had all but forgotten about it. I took the laundry and set it on my bed, pulling out clothes and returning them to my drawer. I got to the bottom when I discovered that there were a pair of stray socks. I recognized them as my mother's right away, as Bella wouldn't be caught dead in white socks. She claimed they didn't go with anything and shone out like a beacon that says 'hey everyone, look at my feet.'

I took the socks and headed over to my parents room, intending on dropping them off. I pulled open the top drawer and went to throw them in, when I noticed a familiar looking piece of paper sitting under some things. I reached in and pulled the paper out.

It was my birth certificate.

Planning on taking it down and telling my mother I had found it, I glanced and noticed something was off. The birth date said June twentieth, but my birthday was in August. Again, I found myself asking why she would lie.

"Edward?" I heard Renee call from the hallway.

I shoved the paper back in the drawer, scared of what it might mean. "In here," I shouted back as I headed for the door. "Extra socks," I explained as calmly as I could when she gave me a quizzical look.

"There's always one pair that tries to escape," she laughed.

I retired to my room early that evening. Bella had gone out with Rose and Emmett and I was looking forward to some quiet contemplation. I closed my bedroom door and sat down at my desk, turning my laptop on and waiting for it to boot up. If what I'd seen was true, it meant I was two months older than I thought, making Bella and I only nine months and seven days different in age.

Was that even possible?

It only takes nine months to make a baby, so why wouldn't it be? Maybe they were embarrassed about getting it on again so quickly. I abandoned that thought quickly as the thoughts of my parents doing the horizontal mambo grossed me out.

I typed a few key words into Google and hit search. The first had said that you can get pregnant as soon as you ovulate. Most women don't ovulate for at least a month after giving birth. The second said most doctors recommend that you wait at least six weeks before having sex to avoid chance of infection, but it is possible to conceive as soon as you start ovulating.

So while it was unlikely, it was possible. But if it was possible, why was I pretending to be two months younger then I actually was? Part of me was scared as to what I would actually discover if I asked my parents for the truth. My mind is truly a creative thing, and before the night was over, I suspected that my parents had to hide my true age for protection against a mafia drug ring. It was about that time I finally drifted off to sleep.

**E/N- Please review. **


	9. Chapter 8

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars, Are you reading her stories yet? Cause you should be.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

Chapter 8

**BPOV**

"So our parents are taking us to Texas for a month, Jasper is shitting himself," Rose said as she flipped through a magazine on my bed.

"Poor Alice, but I guess this will give her some time to get to know the rest of us. Those two are attached at the hip," I replied, adding the last coat of nail polish to my toes. Rose just shrugged as she continued to read the latest Hollywood gossip.

"So I've been spending a lot of time with Emmett lately," she said, keeping her eyes glued to the page.

"Yeah, it feels like everyone is coupling up," I said, swallowing my bitterness; I really did want my friends to be happy. Rose and Em thought they were hiding their attraction but I saw that coming a mile away.

"It's not my fault you chased away the only guy left in our group." She was right. Mike had slowly left the group. We saw him around but he spent most of his time with a new group of friends now. "I mean it's not like you can date your brother," she said, laughing. I didn't have it in me to join her.

"Do you ever think Jasper is attractive?" I asked, surprising myself. A part of me had wanted to ask her this question for months. If she said yes, then maybe I was normal. That these feelings would go away on their own, eventually.

"Ewww," Rose said, and I got my answer. "You're not after Jasper are you?" She asked suddenly with wide eyes.

"Oh no, no. I am all aboard the Jasper/Alice train."

"Then why were you asking?"

Thinking quickly, I blurted, "Well when I went out with Mike, it kind of felt like dating a brother. I was just wondering if in-dating in the group could work."

She looked at me strangely, trying to determine what the heck I was talking about I think. She mumbled something before turning back to her magazine. I sat back and put my feet up, waiting for my toes to dry.

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May was spent looking for a summer job. The only thing I was able to find was with a landscaping company cutting lawns. It was boring but I got to be out enjoying what little sun we had.

We had a couple of weeks before the Doublemint Twins were heading to Texas so our group hung out frequently. The problem was, Jasper and Alice were keen on some alone time, and Emmett and Rose spent the majority of the time flirting, leaving Edward and I in close quarters.

"Hey," he said as he sat beside me on the bench. The smell of floor polish and shoe deodorizer filled the air. It was disgusting, but bowling was one of the only things to do in Forks.

"Hi," I replied.

It was all we said to each other in that first hour but it was enough for me to replay it over and over again in my mind. The sad look in his eyes, the pained way the word came out of his mouth, I knew he was hurting just as much as me.

With an abysmal score of seventy five I hung up my shoes for the night. The couples decided they wanted to play another game so I said goodnight and headed out. I walked out into the parking lot and made my way towards the path.

"Hey, wait up." I spun quickly to see Edward jogging towards me. "I'm going to call it a night too," he said.

His eyes met mine when he caught up; swiftly the confidence in his eyes was gone. The pain in my chest told me that I did that.

"So how's the job hunt going?" He asked.

"Okay I guess. The diner is hiring but I don't really want to work there."

"I'm sorry I kissed you," he blurted out.

"What?" I said my voice barely a whisper. I couldn't seem to hide the hurt in my eyes from his comment.

"I just, I miss you and we used to be such good friends and I feel like I messed it all up with that stupid suggestion."

"It wasn't stupid, Edward," I replied.

"Then why won't you talk to me anymore? I thought you needed some space but you just keep getting more and more distant. Bella, there is so much I want to talk to you about and I feel so alone because you're not there anymore. So if you can just tell me what I did wrong or how I can fix it because I am going crazy here without you."

"You didn't do anything. I am scared if I tell you what I'm thinking, that you will hate me. There is something wrong with me, Edward, and I'm afraid more than anything that if you find out what it is that you will be sickened and want nothing to do with me." My voice shook as the emotions of the past few months caught up with me.

"Bella, there isn't anything that you could say that would stop me from loving you. You're my best friend." His eyes pleaded with me. "Tell me."

I stared at the road for a while, building up the courage. Edward grabbed my arm and spun me around, effectively stopping me. He then pulled me into his arms and cradled me to his chest. The feeling of completeness that I had been missing came rushing back. Silent tears fell from my eyes as I returned the hug that would probably be the last.

After a few moments I pulled myself out of his embrace. I looked up into his eyes and saw acceptance. I longed for it to continue. Surely he would hate me when I told him how I felt.

"When you kissed me," I sniffed.

"Go on," he said as he pushed a stray piece of hair off my face.

"I liked it." He stared at me for a moment before answering.

"What do you mean?" He asked cautiously.

"I mean, I liked it because it was you."

I started walking again, needing to move my nervous legs. He was close behind me, his footsteps falling in sync with mine. We were almost home before he spoke again. "I liked it too," he whispered before climbing the porch steps and entering the house.

I stood there for a moment on the front lawn trying to understand what I had heard. He said that he liked it too. Did that mean that he felt the attraction too? And so what if he did, it didn't change anything. But maybe we could get through it together.

"Are you coming?" Edward asked, popping his head out the front door and smiling.

I returned his smile and followed him in. I did not expect the weight to lift off of me so quickly, but it did. Misery enjoys company, and if we were going to battle this sinful attraction, I was glad we could do it together.

Edward was sitting on my bed when I entered my room. The sight would have sent panic through me before but I was contented to seeing him there. I wanted him there and I was no longer scared to admit it.

"I think we should talk some more," he started.

"About the kiss?" I asked and then immediately blushed, thinking about his lips on mine.

"I know we can't do that again," he said, "but I want to."

His words were honest and brave to me. I tried to repay him with my own thoughts. "It was all I could think of when I was with Mike." Edward blanched at my comment.

"So why were you with him for so long?"

"I was trying to ignore my feelings for you."

"Did it work?"

"Not in the least," I replied honestly.

"Yeah, Irina was a lost cause as well."

"So you never really liked her?" I asked curiously.

"Not like that," he answered.

I sat down beside him on the bed, and the tension in the room increased. I looked down at my hands folded in my lap and sighed. I could feel Edward's eyes on my face, providing me with warmth. His hand slipped over mine and he intertwined our fingers together.

"So what now?" I asked.

"What choice do we have?"

I didn't answer him. We both knew. We had no choice.

**EPOV**

After our talk things were both better and worse for Bella and me. We were finally on the same page but we couldn't act on it. She was still my sister and nothing but hurt and pain could come from us being together. I repeated this over and over in my head, hoping that my heart would believe it.

Bella had gotten a job mowing lawns and was working five days a week. With Emmett at a summer football camp, Alice and I had taken to spending time together. I was surprised at how much we had in common with each other. I even confided in her my darkest secret…okay, my second darkest secret. I loved shoe shopping. I easily had twenty pairs of shoes, enjoying both dress and casual shoes.

Alice's love of shopping had become contagious, and after spending the three weeks in May hanging out with her, I was a full blown shopaholic. Clothes, shoes, hair product; it didn't matter, I needed it all.

I sat on the small picnic table we had in our backyard. The sun was shining for once and I was going to take advantage of it. I heard the back door open but was feeling too lazy to turn around and see who it was.

"Hey," Alice's chipper voice called out as she hopped up on the table next to me.

"Hey Squirt, how's it going?" The squirt comment earned me a punch in the arm every time but I couldn't seem to stop saying it.

"So, I've noticed that you've been a little weird lately," she said. She was right, Bella and I had returned to friendlier waters but that was just causing me more confusion. I was getting lost in my head more often. "I've been told I am quite intuitive and I wanted to talk to you about something." My face drained of color as I looked over at her. Alice's bright eyes turned serious and I felt my heart pound in my chest. If she knew, this would be the beginning of the end.

"Uh, what about?" I squeaked out.

"I want you to know that I am extremely flattered. You're a good guy, Edward, and any girl would be lucky to have you, but Jasper, he's it for me. I hope you understand." While I was relieved that things had not gone the way I feared, I could feel my eyes widen further at her comment. Before I could say anything she continued, "I feel really bad though, so if you wanted to like squeeze my boob once, that would be okay."

I couldn't help it my eyes shot down to her breasts for a split second before I looked up at her face. The feeling that ran through my body was the one I had been praying for, with Bella. I felt nauseated at the thought of touching Alice like that. I'm sure my face showed my discomfort as she broke out in laughter.

"Crap Edward, you should have seen your face!"

"You were playing me?" I asked in mock anger. She answered with a laugh. "You are going to get it now," I said, picking her up and flinging her over my shoulder. She screamed and flailed but I refused to put her down until I was at the garden hose. I grabbed the nozzle and turned on the water, drenching her under the tap.

We lay out in the sun for an hour, Alice drying off and me with a smug sense of satisfaction for having won that round.

"Hey E," she said, her eyes closed.

"Yeah?"

"I know it's not me, but it's someone. She might not be available to you now, but if it's right, she will be."

She meant her words to help but all they did was hurt. Bella would never be available to me because it wasn't right.

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"What's the date today?" I asked Renee as we sat in the kitchen eating lunch.

"The twentieth," she replied. I scrunched up my face wondering why it even occurred to me to ask. Then I realized what it was. June twentieth.

My birthday.

I took another bite of my sandwich, willing myself to keep a calm face. I hadn't thought about the birth certificate in weeks. With Bella and me getting along again, I had just forgotten it. My mom grabbed my plate as I finished, adding it to hers in the sink.

"Okay, so I am off to the grocery store. Is there anything you need?"

"No, I don't think so," I replied.

"Okay, take some soup up to your sister later, she isn't feeling well," Renee said before grabbing her keys and heading out the door.

I watched the taillights of the car disappear down the road. As soon as I knew she was gone, I bolted for the sock drawer that I knew held my birth certificate. My hands shook as I pulled out the piece of paper. My eyes narrowed in on the birth date. Sure enough it said June Twentieth, Nineteen Ninety. It was only after a few seconds that I realized that the name on the birth certificate didn't match mine. The name before me read Edward Masen Platt.

_Who the fuck was Edward Masen Platt?_

I needed Bella. I raced to her room, the certificate still in my hand. I knocked on the door before flinging it open. Bella lay on her bed, bundled in her covers. Her eyes were open but hooded.

"Edward?" She whispered as I entered the room. What's wrong?"

"I need to show you something," I said, sitting down roughly and shoving the paper at her.

"What's this?" she asked looking it over. Her eyebrows scrunched up before raising high onto her forehead. "What does this mean?"

"I think I might be adopted," I said, the word sounding foreign on my tongue.

I watched as Bella studied the paper. "Who the heck is Esmeralda Platt?"

"What?" I asked.

"Didn't you read this? It says here; mother, Esmeralda Platt."

"What does it say about the father?" I asked, suddenly worried that Charlie was keeping a dark secret from us.

"It's blank," she said, looking up at me.

"What do I do?" I felt panicked. I was lied to by the people who were supposed to love me the most in the world. My life was a lie and I suddenly felt like I didn't belong.

"You're not my brother," Bella said softly. The words stung at first until I realized the meaning behind them. I looked into her eyes and saw the first trace of hope. I didn't allow my thoughts to wonder yet. There was too much to sort out first.

"What do I do?" I asked again.

"We have to talk to mom and dad," she said sternly.

E/N- I know that they would have amended his birth certificate after the adoption in real life to have the adopted parent's names. So I hope you will allow this deviation in reality for the purpose of storytelling.


	10. Chapter 9

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars, Are you reading her stories yet? Cause you should be.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

Chapter 9

BPOV

You think that Edward would have gone to our parents the next day, but I think that he was having a hard time taking in the idea of it all. I wanted it out in the open. I wanted it confirmed. I wanted the last bit of shame I felt to go away. I knew it wouldn't be all wine and roses if we found out we weren't blood related. We were still raised as siblings and our small town would take one look at a scandal like that and our whole family would be blacklisted. Ironically it was the kind of gossip my mother would kill for, if it wasn't her kin that were the ones involved. It was something that would have to be kept a secret from our friends, our family, and anyone else that knew us.

The summer went by quickly, and before I knew it, Edward's birthday had arrived, or at least the one we were still pretending was his. I had teased him all week about turning sweet sixteen. It had resulted in numerous tickle wars that only made me want to tease him more so I could feel his touch again.

Our relationship had returned to what it once was; only this time the sexual tension was out in the open. It made it easier to tell each other when we felt the pull. Although we were mostly certain that we were not blood related anymore, we still felt an invisible wall between us until we could have it confirmed.

A knock on my door was followed by Edward's voice chanting, "Bella, Bella, Bella…"

"It's open," I yelled not wanting to get up from my bed.

Edward closed the door behind him as he entered. Once he spotted me on the bed he took a flying leap and landed next to me. I let out a little shriek as I bounce uncontrollably.

"So what did you get me for my birthday?" He asked.

"A beautiful gown to wear to your debutante ball," I replied giggling. I expected an attack but Edward just sighed and stared at the ceiling.

"I think I'm going to ask them tonight." We hadn't spoken about him confronting our parents since the day after we found the birth certificate. We had avoided the topic mostly, so I was surprised by his comment.

"Do you want me to be there with you?" I asked.

"I'm not sure yet. Can I let you know?"

"Of course, Edward, I'll be there for you no matter what you need. Always."

"Bella, I really want to kiss you," he said quietly.

"Me too," I replied. He slipped his hand into mine and we turned our heads so we were facing each other. The sadness in his eyes echoed through mine as we enjoyed the intimacy of eye contact.

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"Bella, can I see you for a second?" Renee called out from the kitchen.

"Need a hand with something?" I asked watching her prepare Edward's birthday dinner. He always asked for the same thing every year; pineapple meatballs, rice, and a fruit salad. He was nothing, if not easy to please.

"Nope, I've got everything started here. Have a seat."

I followed her command and took a seat at the island, unsure of what she would want to talk about. She set the timer on the oven before turning around and taking a seat next to me.

"You're going to be going into your last year of school and I was wondering what your future plans are."

"Oh," I said, taken back by the mature topic of conversation. "Well I have been thinking about that a lot lately," it was partially true, "I know that we don't have a ton of money for school, so I think I would like to take a year off and work. Then maybe Edward and I could apply together and share housing to cut costs."

"That's very mature of you honey, but you don't have to take a year off. We can afford to send you to school."

"I just haven't decided what it is I want to do. I don't want to rush off to school and waste a year of tuition before I figure it out. I would rather hang around here and make some money of my own before heading off into the real world."

"Okay, just think about it. You have a whole year to change your mind and figure things out."

"Yeah, I'll think about it," I replied.

"Alright honey, go tell the boys dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes."

I got up and left the kitchen. Edward and I had spoken briefly about this plan. The thought of spending a year apart wasn't something either of us wanted to do. He tried to tell me that maybe it would be better for us if we did, but when I started to cry he took it all back and virtually begged me to stay.

I found Charlie and Edward in the backyard. Rain was drizzling down lightly, nothing that would cause a resident from Forks to hurry indoors. I stood on the porch watching them toss a football back and forth. The rain had dampened their clothes and Edward's shirt clung to his chest. It was obvious that he had been doing crunches. His white top was slightly see-through, allowing me to make out the lines of his abdomen. I bit my lip and held back a groan.

Edward took that moment to look up, his eyes catching mine. His expression told me he knew what I was thinking. He gave me a sad smile before throwing the ball back to Charlie.

"Dinner's just about ready," I called out.

"Okay, we'll be right in," Charlie answered, tossing the ball back to Edward.

I went back inside and helped mom set the table. I lit the candles that she had placed in the centre of the table and went back into the kitchen to help bring the food out. On the second trip, Charlie and Edward were sitting down. Edward seemed to be almost vibrating with excitement.

"You really have been spending too much time with Alice, you're starting to act like her," I teased.

"Shove it, Lizardbella. You're just jealous," he replied. It was easy for us to fall into our sibling roles when around our parents. We both knew it was essential for all of us to do so.

Dinner was followed by cake, which was followed by presents. Our parents had bought Edward a few video games and some new clothes. I was saving all of my summer job money for a car so I didn't have much to spend. Instead I created a scrapbook of pictures of us growing up. The first picture was one of us snuggled in a crib together as babies and the last was one taken in Hawaii.

Edward was visibly touched as he flipped through the book. I seen him pause on a page of us and a little blonde haired girl that I couldn't remember the name of. Edward was about six and I was seven. He ran his fingers over the picture and smiled. I hadn't noticed that my parents had left the room until he spoke.

"That was the day you said you were going to marry me," he said wistfully.

"See, I was smart even then, I knew a good catch when I saw one," I replied lightly, trying not to get lost in the depth of his eyes.

"Thank you Bella, this gift is really…really special."

"Happy birthday Edward." I smiled at him and he returned the sentiment but it was strained. "Now?" I asked him.

"I think so," he replied. I raised my eyebrows, silently asking if he wanted me to come with him. "I think I need to do this on my own."

"Okay, but I will be in my room if you need me after. I don't care how long it takes, if you need to talk, I'm there."

He didn't respond but he reached out and gently squeezed my shoulder, giving me the reassurance that I wanted to give him. I watched him walk out of the room, knowing that whatever he learned tonight had the possibility to change both our lives.

**EPOV**

I walked into our kitchen where my parents were sitting, sipping on coffee. Charlie was doing a crossword puzzle and Renee was playing solitaire. I took a shaky breath and sat down between them.

"Hi honey, did you have a good birthday?" Renee asked, moving an ace up.

"Yeah, in some ways it already feels like I turned sixteen," I waited for a reaction but received none, so I said the thing I knew would garner one, "Mom, I found my birth certificate."

Instantaneously I held both of their attentions. They shared a quick exchange and Charlie made a sound of dissatisfaction.

"Oh baby," Renee started, "we didn't know how to tell you. We couldn't decide if the time was right and then it felt like it was too late."

"Tell me what? I need to hear you say it, out loud," I said, feeling hurt.

"Son, you're adopted." That was Charlie, straight and to the point.

"Your father and I love you very much. We always planned on adopting and once we filed the paperwork we found out I was pregnant."

"So why didn't you just tell me? You lied to me about my birthday. I don't understand."

"We just thought it would be easier on you as a kid to think you were our biological son, and with only nine months difference between you and Bella, we decided to fudge the numbers," Renee said. "I love you Edward, and you are my child whether it is by blood or not."

"I know. It's just such a shock."

"Is there anything we can do to make it easier?"

"Can I have my real birthday back?" I asked.

"Of course, sweetheart," she replied.

Renee leaned over and gave me a hug before excusing herself to bed. After she left the room I made a motion to stand.

"Edward," Charlie said.

"Yeah, dad?"

"You are the son I always wanted, and I am very proud of you." His unexpected praise filled my heart. I slapped him on the back in acknowledgement and headed up to bed.

Part of me felt like I was walking through quicksand. Everything seemed muddled. I didn't know what I was expecting from the conversation, but it surely wasn't the _simple_ one that we had. I expected them to deny or be angry with me for snooping, but instead they told me the truth and explained how much they loved me. Although part of me was still hurt by their deception, I felt lucky to have such wonderful parents.

I don't know what I expected once I knew the truth, but the world kept turning and all my problems didn't magically disappear. I thought maybe once the shock wore off I would know how I felt better. I needed to talk to Bella.

"Hi," I said, standing in her open door. It was something she never did, but I knew that she left it opened for me. The thought made me smile.

"Hi," she replied, looking up from her book and giving me a tentative smile, "come in."

I walked into the room, closing the door behind me. She looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to say the first word.

"I'm adopted." She let out the breath she was holding and slid over to sit next to me. Bella enveloped me in her arms creating comfort that I was unaware I needed. The safety she provided made me continue talking. "I feel hurt because they hid it from me, but I also feel guilty at the relief I feel."

"Relief?" she inquired.

"Bella, you have been a wonderful sibling, but I am so glad you are not my sister."

"Oh Edward, thank fuck you're not my brother."

Now, I had heard Bella curse before, but I could count on one hand the times she had said fuck. The sound of her exasperated voice along with the cuss word caused me to burst out laughing. Before long her delicate frame barked out a loud guffaw which only caused me to laugh harder.

Our laughter died down and we became quiet. I looked over at her and she was playing with her hands and looking at the floor.

"Bella?" I asked softly. She looked up at me and our eyes locked. In that moment I could feel our connection, as tangible as the bed we sat on. I reached my hand up and brushed her hair back, tucking it behind her ear. I could hear her swallow; the room was so hushed. The silent conversation between us was clear; even if everyone was against us, we knew we weren't wrong. I leaned my body into hers, taking my time to breath in her scent. This kiss would be different from the last one we shared. There was no trick, no guilt, no shame. Her breath hit my lips a moment before…

_Knock. Knock._

Our bodies separated quickly. "Bella, honey." Renee's voice came through the door softly.

"Yeah?" Bella asked her voice betraying her frazzled state.

"Do you want to talk?"

"I'm just talking with Edward right now," she called out.

"Alright. Are you kids okay, you sound upset."

Bella got up and went to the door, opening it. Her hushed voice couldn't be heard from where I sat so I just laid back on the bed and waited for her to return. When I heard the door close I raised my head and saw Bella come back over to the bed.

"So, do you feel any different?" She asked, sitting down on the bed and crossing her legs under her.

"No, I mean, I have been thinking about this for a while now and I thought there would be some major change in me but I feel the same way."

"It's not like you were bit by a radioactive spider, Edward, you're just adopted," she teased.

"Aw man, I want a super power, that would be cool," I whined.

"Are you going to try and find out who they are? Your birth parents."

"I don't know. My birth mother's name is on the certificate and not the father's, so I can guess that she was a young, unwed mother."

"I wonder if she was a crack addict," she said and then got a horrified look on her face. "Oh Edward, I'm sorry, that was really insensitive."

"Don't worry about it. I don't feel ripped off. The only thing I would have gained by staying with my birth mother is that I would have been able to hold your hand in public. But I might have never met you then and that wouldn't have been worth the risk," I said honestly.

"Esmeralda Platt," Bella said, trying the name out.

"She sounds like a gypsy. I wonder if she dances in the street with a tambourine and curses the people who steal from her."

"You have been watching way too much Hunchback of Notre Dame," she giggled. We fell into silence again for a minute before Bella whispered, "I bet she's pretty."

"Why would you think that?" I asked.

"The genes that it would take to make someone like you would have to be good."

Bella yawned so I unwillingly picked myself off of her bed. "Goodnight Sweetpea," I said covering her with her comforter.

"Goodnight," her sleepy voice said.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

You would think that finding out that Bella was not my real sister would have given the green light to all sorts of fantasies. The problem was, whenever I found a minute alone, I couldn't help but think about my birth parents. However, that complication was solved one morning about two weeks after I found out I was adopted.

Bella and I had not had any real alone time to talk. We were starting back at school and I was nervous about how things were going to change. We had decided that we would tell our friends about my adoption once we were back in classes. I was just hoping that I was going to have had some time to talk to Bella about it a bit more first.

All of these things were going through my head when I walked into the bathroom. And then all of a sudden, there was nothing in my head but the picture before me. Bella naked. Her hair was wet and beads of water ran down her body. She grabbed a towel and hid herself reflexively.

"Shit, sorry," I said, turning around. I was raised to be a gentleman. I stumbled out of the bathroom and headed back to my room. I closed and locked my door, dropped my pants, and just like that, my fantasies were back.


	11. Chapter 10

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

**A/N- I need to give out an extra shout to my beta Tanya who rocked it out with this chapter, cause I was sick and made all sorts of bad mistakes. **

Chapter 10

**BPOV**

School all of a sudden seemed different. While I couldn't come out with my attraction for Edward, I still felt like there was a huge weight that had lifted off me. I found myself smiling more and more. Of course, as soon as you look like you are having a good time, the wolves descend.

"Hi Bella," Tyler Crowley said. He was on the football team with Emmett and not a bad looking guy. "You look really nice; did you have a good summer?"

"Yeah, I did. How about you?" I replied.

"Not too bad," he said just as the bell rang. "I gotta go, but we should hang out sometime."

I stood there, shocked, unable to answer. Besides Mike, who was in my social group, I had never had a guy ask me out or pay any attention to me at all.

"Close that beautiful mouth of yours and get to class, Swan," Eric Yorkie said, striding by me while giving my behind a firm smack. His surprising action caused me to snap out of my haze and head for my class.

The first week back was similar to that. I went to the bathroom twice just to check if I had grown huge boobs over the summer and missed it. I, however, wasn't the only one to notice the extra attention I was getting.

"This is killing me," Edward said, dramatically falling down on his bed. It was the first Friday and I was looking forward to the weekend.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Bella, you have no idea what those boys say about you in the locker room."

"Just tell them to knock it off. They won't think anything of it, you're my brother…hey wait, what are they saying?"

"Bella, if you haven't noticed recently, you're kind of glowing."

"What, like a pregnant lady?" I said astonished.

"No, like a girl in lo… like a girl in a relationship. Boys like the chase, and they want what they can't have."

"Who says they can't have me?" I teased, but instead of laughing, Edward's face became defeated.

"Maybe you should date one of them," he mumbled.

"You don't want me?" My voice came out strained.

"Of course I do, Bella, but how can I have you?"

"We could keep it a secret for now. I already told mom and dad that I'm taking a year off after this so that we can share housing when we go to University. I think it's best if no one knows. Once we get out of this town we can be whoever we want to be, no one will know us as anything but a couple."

"It's a lot to risk," he replied.

"You're worth it to me. Edward, one minute being yours is worth it."

"I need to kiss you."

"Then do it."

He stood up off the bed and he rushed to me. In any other situation, I would have been frightened by his intensity. One hand reached around and grabbed my lower back, bringing me closer to him. My head tilted up, awaiting his lips. He placed his forehead on mine and stared into my eyes.

"There is no going back on this, Bella. Are you sure?"

I answered with my hands around his neck, pulling his lips to mine. The first kiss that we had shared on the beach was intense and wonderful, but there was the underlying guilt and shame. This kiss had none of that. Our lips danced together, working on instinct. When Edward's tongue touched my lips I pushed away the reflex to pull back. I sighed and opened my mouth, allowing him entrance. The low groan that came from his throat when I did this spurred me on. I pulled my body impossibly closer to his, feeling his hardness pressed against me.

Edward spun me around, never unlocking lips, and walked me backwards. When the crook of my knees hit the bed I fell over, bringing his body with me. We lay on his bed and kissed until we heard the front door close. I bolted up first with Edward close behind me.

"I think I better head to my room," I said, worried that Renee would find us together swollen-lipped and flush-faced.

"Yeah," Edward agreed while adjusting himself. I couldn't help my eyes from darting to the bulge in his pants, causing him to clear his throat and me to blush even harder.

I quickly exited his room and went across to mine, only to change my mind and head to the bathroom instead. I looked at myself in the mirror and took in my aroused face. My hair was tangled and full from lying on the bed and my lips were plump and smiling. For a moment I no longer felt bland, I felt almost pretty.

I wanted to keep the look, to show everyone how Edward made me feel, but I knew that I couldn't. so I splashed some water on my face and cooled my cheeks back down to a pale white. I ran a brush through my hair, flattening it to its normal height. Then, when I saw her, the plain Bella I knew so well, I opened the door and headed to the kitchen for dinner.

"Hey honey," Renee said as I came into the kitchen.

"Hey mom, is dad working tonight?"

"Yeah, he is on the late shift," she replied.

"Do you need any help?" I asked.

"No, I'm just heating up some leftovers."

Edward walked into the room then, and I could feel my skin react before he even made a noise. I silently wondered if Jasper and Rosalie had this same connection or if it was more than a brother/sister thing. I turned and looked at him, unable to hide the smile from my face. He returned it with his crooked grin, the one I had seen him give to girls before but never to me. I may have swooned a little.

"You two look awfully happy," Renee observed.

Panic set in and I could see it was the same for Edward. Getting caught would end up leaving us both broken. The stakes were too high; we were going to have to try harder.

**EPOV**

"Hey Edward," Alice said, sitting down and joining me at my table in the library.

"Hey," I replied closing the book I was studying from. I had been spending the last few days working in the library over lunch. Part of the reason was that I wanted my homework done so I had free time to be with Bella in the evenings, and the other part was being afraid that I wouldn't be able to control my emotions in front of my friends. It was hard before to keep my looks brotherly, but now that I knew she felt the same way, all I wanted to do was shout it from the mountaintops.

"You've been spending a lot of time here," Alice stated. "Is there something wrong?"

All that studying must have sharpened my brain because my reply was quick. "I found out this summer that I was adopted."

"Wow. Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah, it just hurts that they lied to me. They even kept my real birthday a secret cause it's so close to Bella's."

"Shit, Edward, that's huge," she gaped at me and then continued, "so when is the real birthday?"

"June twentieth."

"You know no one is going to care. You can just tell all of us, Edward, your friends love you no matter what."

"Thanks Alice," I said giving her an awkward hug while still seated.

After telling Alice, it became a lot easier to tell everyone else. As expected, no one cared. I guess when you are hiding a bigger secret, being adopted is no big deal.

I still had times of doubt and sadness about it though. I went to Alice and she was really helpful. I didn't feel I could go to Bella as it felt wrong to complain to her that I wasn't her real brother. I couldn't tell Alice the whole situation, obviously, but she helped me through some of my feelings of abandonment.

Things went back to normal quickly. I would spend my lunches with my friends and my evenings with Bella. We didn't get a lot of alone time, but even just watching a movie with her felt like heaven. I was quickly falling in love with her. I had always loved her, but now I was in love with her, and it felt wonderful.

The attention at school hadn't died down, for Bella or me. Tyler and Eric would flirt with Bella every chance they got and I was getting notes from several girls. It was pretty easy to ignore the girls but I had a hard time keeping my cool with the guys. That was until the week of Bella's seventeenth birthday. I was heading toward gym class when I was pulled abruptly into an empty class room.

Startled, I turned to see the blue eyes of a certain persistent girl staring at me. "What do you want Kate?" I asked.

"I heard you and Irina broke up," she replied, biting her lower lip. When Bella did it, it was sexy, but Kate was trying to be sexual, leaving her looking more foolish than anything.

"So?" I said, a little annoyed.

"Well, I thought maybe you might be ready for a real woman."

"I'm not really looking for another girlfriend right now," I said honestly. And even if I was, it would not be Kate.

"That's okay, we don't have to date. We can just have some fun together," she replied.

"Listen, Kate…" I was cut off by the feeling of her hand on my junk. I looked down, wide-eyed and completely dumbfounded.

My head shot over at the sound of the door opening, and to make my nightmare even worse, Bella walked in. She smiled when she saw me but then it fell when she noticed Kate standing there still in possession of my penis. Kate pulled her hand away slowly, not looking ashamed at all.

"Hi Bella, your brother and I were just talking," Kate said, her words oozing.

"I see that," Bella replied curtly, "did Edward tell you that you could touch him?"

"Uhm, no?" Kate said in a confused voice.

"Then I suggest you don't touch him again unless he tells you that you can."

Kate looked up at me for assistance. I stifled a chuckle and then responded, "That's really not going to happen."

Kate huffed and mumbled, "Whatever," before walking off.

Once she was out of the room, I approached Bella cautiously. I knew there was a chance that I was going to be in trouble for this regardless of how things conspired. My brain/mouth filter was not working though.

"Baby, that was so hot!" Bella's face flushed as she looked down. I tilted her head up so that I could see her face. "You know that I didn't provoke that right? She just pulled me in here and grabbed me."

"I trust you, Edward. We both have too much on the line to play games." I knew then that she got it. She got me.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Bella's birthday was the most difficult gift giving occasion I had ever encountered. I wanted to find a gift that signified how I felt for her but wouldn't let anyone else know.

I settled on a simple charm bracelet. I wanted to buy a silver 'E' to go on it, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to, so instead I bought a little pea pod charm that matched her nickname. I knew most people wouldn't make the connection.

Bella had asked that we just have a quiet birthday with the family; she hated parties and attention even more. Our parents took us to The Lodge, a simple steakhouse and the only 'fancy' dining in forks.

Renee and Charlie had given Bella a camera and scrapbook so that she could catalogue her final year. She started by taking pictures of all of us at the table. I wanted more than anything to have them take our picture together, arms around each other, but that was just one more thing that we would never have.

When Bella opened my gift she had a hard time keeping her eyes dry. I felt bad immediately and cursed myself for not buying her a DVD to open now and saving the bracelet for when we were alone.

"Thanks Edward, I love it." She kept her eyes on the silver bobble as she spoke but I knew that she meant her words.

"When all the girls at school see what you bought your sister, you'll be beating them off with a stick," Charlie said, adding a different kind of tension to the table.

"You think?" I asked doing my best not to sound revolted at the thought.

"Sure, girls love when boys are nice to their sisters and mothers. It shows that they have respect for women," my mother replied.

It was about halfway through the year when things took an uncomfortable turn. Bella and I had kept our relationship a well guarded secret. She had officially convinced my parents that waiting a year for University was a good idea, and she even had a job lined up as a receptionist at the dental office after graduation. It was then that the offers starting filing in.

First it was Eric Yorkie; the boy hadn't given up on Bella even though he had some chick named Angela following him around like a lost puppy. He cornered her in bio class and asked her; she had felt flustered and said she would think about it. He asked her once a week for two months before she finally got up the courage to say no.

Then it was Tyler. He sent her flowers in her math class; she was so embarrassed she went home sick.

The problem in the end wasn't the guys, it was my mother.

"Bella, you have to have a date to graduation. You are a pretty girl; there is no reason not to."

"Well, Alice is taking Jasper, Emmett and Rose are going together, so if I don't take Edward then he won't be able to go. All his friends are graduating and I would hate for him to miss it." I listened to Bella from the other room. I felt she made a valid point.

"Oh nonsense, he can come and watch you walk across the stage, he just won't be able to go to the dance. You should go with a boy Bella, not your brother."

"Okay, I'll think about it," Bella replied. I knew our mother could be a lot to handle sometimes, but it hurt a little that she didn't fight harder.

**E/N- I posted a new one-shot as well called Incomplete. Please go check it out. **


	12. Chapter 11

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

**A/N- The nominations are open for the Eddies and the Bellies are open. Please go nominate your favorite fics at http://www(dot)thecatt(dot)net/tw/default(dot)aspx**

Chapter 11

**BPOV**

It took me almost until graduation to get Renee off my back about bringing a date. Even Edward had told me to forget about it and take someone else. I told him to 'shove it' and that I was taking him, whether he liked it or not. The smug smile on his face told me that he liked my aggressive response.

Alice's parents owned a large house on an even larger piece of land, giving us the perfect place for our after-grad party. We spent the week before attaching tarps to trees to give us cover from the high chance of rain. Charlie and Renee balked at first at the idea of us all camping out there, but when I mentioned that Edward was going to be there to look out for me, they conceded. It was a dirty trick, I know.

Edward and I had very little time together alone. Renee didn't work outside the home and seemed to be volunteering less and less that year. I don't know what the garden party club did without all her useful gossip. Her guilt over keeping Edward's adoption a secret had come out in the form of a constantly present mother. Even though I wanted time alone, I could tell Edward appreciated the extra attention. All of this, however, resulted in very little progression of our physical relationship. When you are worried about your parents walking in and finding you making out with your brother, you tend to keep the clothes on. I was aching for skin on skin contact, but could see no safe way to pursue it.

Alice had taken Edward shopping for his grad suit. I felt jealous that they developed the sibling type bond that Edward and I could never seem to master. That left me to shop with Rosalie, the goddess of the bargain bins. With her figure she could wear a dress of any quality. I, however, needed something made properly to fill in the curves I didn't have. I was about to head over to her place when Renee called me out to the front yard.

"What's up?" I asked, stepping out of the house. The beat up, red truck stood proudly in the driveway, flanked by my parents. "Is that for me?" I inquired excitedly.

"Happy graduation, sweetheart," Renee said.

"Shut up! This is awesome," I squealed, hugging both of my parents. Charlie handed me the keys and mumbled something about new tires but I wasn't paying attention. All I could think about was the fact that I would have some independence. Oh yeah, and a new place to make out with Edward.

I hopped into the truck and started it up. The beast hissed and moaned liked a woman in labor but I loved her. I popped on the stereo and my favorite Muse song came on, signifying that the stars were aligned and it was going to be a good day.

"What is that piece of shit?" Rosalie asked, coming out of her house.

"Shut it bitch, at least I have a piece of shit."

"Touché," she giggled before getting in.

Our day went well as we tried on the few selections that Port Angeles had to offer. I felt bad watching Rose try on dresses at first, but then I realized that Edward chose me over a girl like Rosalie, so I shouldn't put myself down. There had to be something special about me, right?

"So how are things with you and Emmett? I feel like we've been so busy since school started that we haven't really talked."

"Really good. We are both applying to Washington next year; my parents are freaking out saying we can't live together but we will see. I think we both want to do a year in the dorms first anyway."

"Wow, live together. Are you guys, you know."

"Really Bella? Just say it," Rose said with a smile.

"Sex," I whispered.

"There you go. And no, we aren't…yet."

"Yet?"

"Well, I thought maybe we would do it after graduation. Seems like the thing to do."

"Do you love him?" I asked, shocked.

"Sure. He is dumb and loud, but he kind of grows on you, you know?" It was the first time I really seen Rose hesitant or unsure.

"I'm really going to miss you next year," I said.

"I know, but we'll be close. Do you know where you want to go after next year?" she asked.

"We're thinking Chicago," I said.

"We?"

"Oh, yeah. Edward and I want to go to the same school. Save my parents some money on housing, you know," I said quickly trying to cover the slip.

"Oh that's cool." I let out a breath of relief when that was all she said.

At the end of the day we had each found our perfect dress. Rose's was a deep green, strapless number that resembled Marilyn Monroe's famous pink dress in style. I chose a more understated gown with a long flowing skirt and a simple v-neck top. The royal blue color is what drew me to it and when I tried it on; it was the only one that made me feel pretty.

* * *

The actual day of graduation seemed anti-climatic. You spend your entire school career waiting for this day, and all you do is walk across a stage and get a piece of paper. Of course with the year that I had previously; falling for my brother, finding out he was adopted, being able to express my feelings to him but having to keep them secret from everyone else. I guess that sometimes life trumps something silly like graduating high school.

Charlie and Renee fussed over me and took pictures, but nothing about that day really caught my attention, until I saw Edward. He waited patiently behind our parents, allowing them to finish before congratulating me. We he stepped into my view, my heart nearly stopped.

I had seen Edward in a suit before, but it had been years. The last time he was a boy, this time, there was no doubt he was a man. Let me start at the bottom and work my way up. On his feet he wore two toned shoes, he knew I had something of a fetish for nineteen thirties fashion and I knew that he was playing it up. He wore a one button pinstriped suit that had skinny legs and a fitted waist. He wore no tie but had the top two buttons opened on his white dress shirt, framing his Adams apple perfectly. Then to top it all off he was sporting what could only be described as perfectly ruffled bed head. I wanted to lick him.

He came up and wrapped his arms around me. "Congratulations Bella," he whispered into my ear, causing me to shiver. We broke the hug before anyone it became too long. I missed him in my arms immediately.

It felt like forever before we actually got rid of all the parents and headed out to Alice's place.

"I threw some extra blankets in the back of your truck," Edward said as we headed towards the vehicle, "in case you get cold."

"Thanks." That is what I said out loud, what I thought was, _if I'm cold, it better be you warming me up, not some extra blanket._

We pulled up to Alice's right behind Rose and Emmett. She squawked when Emmett helped her out of his jeep, of course the hand on her ass might have been what provoked the noise. I shot daggers at my friends as I put the truck in park.

"I know. It sucks," Edward said, grabbing my hand, "but we'll make it work, and in a year we will be gone and no one will be able to say anything if I grab your ass in public."

A small smile crept onto my face. "Edward, you still blush when you grab my ass in private." He responded with a chuckle.

We grabbed our things out of the truck and headed towards the clearing we were going to set up in. The tarps had held up and it was truly an amazing sight. Alice's parents had even provided a fire pit.

Each couple set up their tents. I noticed that we were the only ones without an air mattress, but it might have been uncomfortable to explain a queen sized air mattress for the brother/sister tent. Luckily, the tents were spaced quite far apart from each other, none of us wanting to hear any 'noises' from the others.

Jasper and Edward took care of lighting the fire as the girls finished up putting the bedding in the tents. The extra blankets that Edward brought would provide a good soft base for us to sleep on. The thought made me want to skip the visiting and go right to bed.

"Beer?" Emmett said, coming back from his jeep with a full cooler.

"No, I'm good," I said as Rose and Alice each took one. It was another thing that Edward and I were going to miss out on. We were worried that we might slip up if we drank around each other. I grabbed a coke out of the cooler and cracked it open.

We all gathered around the fire, Jazz with his arm around Alice and Rose sitting in between Emmett's legs. Edward and I sat a respectable distance apart, chatting with our friends and avoiding too much eye contact.

It was going to be a long night.

**EPOV**

As I am sure all of you know, Google is a variable cornucopia of useless information. Like, did you know that sixteen year old boys think of sex every twenty seconds? I needed to know if I was in the norm; apparently I was. Although on prom night, I think that number was a bit closer to four.

Sitting so close to Bella and not being able to touch her was torture. Every once in a while the wind would blow just so and her scent mixed with campfire would drift towards me. I swear to this day I get a boner when I smell burning wood.

She had changed from grad into a pair of tan cargo pants and a green hoodie. The outfit was nothing special, but on her, she made it breathtaking. As our friends became more and more inebriated, they became more comfortable with showing affection. I swore, if I had to watch Emmett grab Rosalie's boob one more time, I was going to lose it.

Luckily, the evening wound down and each of us headed to our respective tent. The girls made a quick trek to the house to use the washroom, while we guys intended to bond with nature by peeing in the bush. When they returned, Alice and Rose were giggling and Bella was quiet. Her head was down and I knew immediately that something was wrong.

She walked up to me and I held the door open for her. She climbed in and I took a quick look back to see that everyone had gone into their tents before I joined her.

She sat on the large pile of blankets, looking not sad but contemplative. I took my place next to her after kicking my shoes off.

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

"Yeah," she replied unconvincingly.

"Bella."

"It's just Rose and Alice were talking about what they were going to be doing with the guys tonight. I felt left out. It's no big deal."

I was unsure if she felt left out by what they were going to do or that they were able to talk about it. So I asked her, causing a blush to creep onto her face. I would be lying through my teeth if I said I hadn't thought about sex with Bella but I didn't want our first time to be out in the bush, on the ground and most importantly, where we would have to be quiet.

"Bella, I don't want to do something just because our friends are doing it."

"Edward, I think we both know we aren't ready for that step." It was true. I had yet to see her naked, with exception to that time I walked in on her coming out of the shower, but I don't count that cause it wasn't planned. Still, I was a little disappointed.

"I know," I replied.

"But I was hoping for another step," she said quietly. My ears and a certain other body part perked up.

I looked at her and felt the air in the tent become thick. Part of me wanted to know what she was thinking and the other part didn't care as long as I got to touch her boob. I was sixteen, give me a break.

When she looked up at me, I forgot about how far we would go and worried about making her feel loved. Because there was no doubt in my mind at that point that I loved her.

"Come here," I said gently, pulling her into my arms. Her head found the crook of my neck and she let out a sigh. "Do you want to get changed?"

"Okay," she said pulling back. Before I had a chance to turn and give her some privacy, Bella pulled her top off. I sat stunned, and completely turned on as she sat there in her bra, smirking at me. I was unsure of how to start so I just stared.

"You can touch me, Edward," she cooed. I had no idea where this bold side of her came from but I loved it.

Always one to give her what she wanted, I leaned forward and touched her shoulder with my fingertips. I followed them with my eyes as I grazed down her arm and then across her abdomen. Her body shivered at my touch, causing me to groan. Her hands moved then and found purchase in my hair, pulling me in for a kiss.

Every time our lips met was a different experience but always exciting. I slowly laid her back onto the blankets and lowered my body over hers. I kept my weight on my elbow so as to not crush her. My other hand trailed across her collarbone and down along the swell of her breast. It was the most skin I had touched and I felt drunk off it. I sent my mouth on the same path my fingers had just taken, licking along the way. Her sighs of appreciation egged me on.

I looked up at her eyes and saw the love of my life contently smiling down at me. "Can I?" I asked, and she nodded.

I reached my hands under her back and fiddled with the clips on her bra. When it was obvious that I wasn't going to get it, Bella sat up and undid it herself. My breath caught as the material fell away from her breasts.

Now, I know that Bella's were the first pair of live breasts I had seen, but I felt comfortable with the thought that they were the most perfect pair in existence. My fingers reached out and touched her body softly, causing her to giggle. I looked up to her face to see she had a smug sense of satisfaction on her face.

I pulled off my sweater and t-shirt, leaving my chest bare as well. Bella's eyes widened slightly before pulling my body back down on hers. The feel of our skin touching was ecstasy.

Our kisses became more and more insistent and I rubbed my hips into hers. Our breathing became labored and I felt my orgasm coming on.

"Wait," Bella whimpered and I stopped instantly.

"What's wrong?"

She didn't answer; she just rolled my body over so I was lying on my back. I was about to ask her again when all coherent thought left me. Bella began undoing my pants. I hadn't wanted to have sex with her that night, but I think if she would have asked me for it, then I wouldn't have been able to refuse. But she didn't ask.

What she did do was almost too glorious for words. She pulled my prick out of my pants and stared at it. It made me nervous until I saw a small smile. She then wrapped her small fingers around him and pumped. I'm sure there are many who wouldn't believe me; men who had to teach their first girlfriends how to give a hand job but Bella was a natural. Hell, she did it better than me.

I wish I could tell you that it was all good, but cleaning up in a tent was quite a bit of trouble. I wanted to reciprocate, but without being able to wash my hands, Bella thought it best if I didn't stick my sperm filled fingers in her. I saw her point but I still felt like a shitty boyfriend, she had given me my first non-solo orgasm and I gave her a stain on her favorite pants.

"Edward," she mumbled as we snuggled underneath the blanket. I had wanted to keep our shirts off but it had gotten too cold.

"Yeah," I replied.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too, more than anything," I replied.

I held her in my arms all night, knowing that this would likely be the last time I would be able to do so until we left for school in a year.


	13. Chapter 12

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars, Are you reading her stories yet? Cause you should be.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

Chapter 12

BPOV

When you've experienced something once it's hard not to want it all the time. No matter what I seemed to do, I couldn't stop thinking about Edward's anatomy. We had not had any real alone time together since grad and I was going insane with the lack of contact. It made me sad that things were so hard between us. If Edward wasn't my brother, he was the kind of guy my parents would be thrilled to see me dating. He was polite and respectful and really cute. Okay, so my parents probably wouldn't care about the cute part, but I'm sure you get what I'm saying.

I had been working for two weeks at my new job when I met him. Apparently he was the regular delivery guy but he had been on vacation since I started. I knew by his copper skin that he probably lived on the reservation at La Push. The first thing I noticed about him was his eyes, they shone with kindness.

"You're new," he said strolling up to the desk. The waiting room at the dentist's office was empty and I was grateful for a little company to break up the work.

"I was going to say the same thing to you," I replied.

"I'm Jake, your regular delivery guy." He smiled brightly at me and his teeth looked so white against his dark skin.

"So, do you have a package for me, Jake?" As soon as the words escaped, I willed them back in. Instead of looking uncomfortable, Jake just laughed.

"Why, yes. Yes I do." He handed me a small brown box which I knew to be the restock of our forms.

I blushed as he kept eye contact with me after I had taken the parcel from him. When he finally released me from his gaze, he looked down to my name plate.

"Have a good afternoon," he said turning to leave.

"You too."

"Oh, and Bella?"

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I'll have another package for you tomorrow as well." With that a big smirk overtook his face and I scoffed.

Over the next few weeks, I spent a lot of time chatting with Jake. He was a nice guy who was easy to hang around and I could tell that he was interested in me. I didn't worry about it too much as he had never asked me out, so I figured he just liked to flirt. Part of me wished that I could like him. How easy it would be to fall for a guy like Jake. Good looking, funny, steady job, not related to me, it should really have been easy.

* * *

"Bella, you've hardly eaten anything," Renee whined as I pushed her latest creation around my plate. She wasn't a bad cook, but every once in a while she would try to invent her own recipe, and the only thing she ended up with was a disaster.

Edward flung a steamed carrot at me, and I looked up to glare at him. When I met his eyes I saw concern. "Eat," he said.

I looked down at my plate, embarrassed. With the stress of us moving our relationship along, I had been having a hard time developing an appetite. I ate, just not , and this 'meat surprise' that stared at me from my plate was not helping.

When Renee and Charlie went to bed that night, Edward and I decided to stay up and watch a movie. We would never snuggle full out on the couch as we knew that it would be too easy to get caught. Instead we would sit side by side under a blanket and let our fingers touch. The tiny contact filled my heart but did nothing to quell the rush of endorphins I felt when near Edward.

* * *

I finished the filing and the outstanding data entry an hour into my shift. I lost the staring contest with the duster and decided to dust off the reception area. Once that was finished, I sat and stared at my computer monitor. The first appointment arrived and then we were steady until lunch. Jake usually dropped off the packages around eleven, so when he wasn't there by quarter to twelve, I resigned myself to a day without our banter.

At twelve, I flipped the closed sign over the door and was getting ready to lock it when I seen Jake bounding up through the parking lot. I opened the door and was unable to stop the smile that spread across my face. He really was the sun in my dreary work filled days. My job wasn't so bad, it was just boring.

"Hey Bella," he said, stepping through the door, "I'm glad I caught you."

"Running a little behind?" I asked teasingly.

"Uh, yeah." His response was odd and uncomfortable. "So, since this is my last delivery this morning, I was wondering if you wanted to join me for lunch."

"Sure, let me just grab my purse." When I looked up at him, I knew that I had said the wrong thing. The boy looked like he had just won the lottery. I cursed myself for not explaining that it wasn't a date, I was accepting as friends.

We settled in at the restaurant across the street from the dental office. Jake had wanted to go somewhere nicer but I gave him an excuse about not wanting to be late getting back. I fidgeted with my napkin, suddenly uneasy with the situation I was in. Jake was a great guy, and I liked having him as my work buddy, so I didn't want to hurt him.

"So Bella, why don't you tell me a bit more about yourself," he started.

"Uhm, like what?" I said, not enjoying being put on the spot.

"I don't know. What's your favorite color? What do you like to do in your spare time? Are you seeing anyone?" His voice stayed strong and I was blown away by his forwardness. His confidence added to his attractiveness. The problem was, I didn't know how to tell him I was seeing someone when technically I wasn't.

"Green, read, and not officially but I have my eye on someone," I said, answering his questions. The smirk on his face told me I misspoke again.

"So, this someone, do I know him?"

"He's just some guy from school," I said hoping to let him down easy. His face dropped but he recovered quickly.

"So, why aren't you with him?"

"Well I kind of am. We are just keeping things a secret for now."

"Bella, what kind of man would keep you a secret? If you were mine, I would stand proud at your side."

I wanted that, a man that would stand proud beside me, but I wanted it to be Edward. The words cut deeper than he could ever know and my eyes began watering. I pulled my hands up to my face quickly, trying to hide my pain and embarrassment. Jake reached over and put his arm around my shoulder.

"Sorry Bella, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know; it's just really complicated."

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me. We can just have lunch okay?"

"Okay."

"And Bella? If you ever want something simple, I'll be here."

* * *

I crawled into bed and pulled the covers up when I heard a small knock on the door.

"Hey," I heard Edward's voice say as he opened the door. My eyes hadn't adjusted to the darkness yet so I let the sound of his voice carry his beauty.

"What's up?" I asked, sitting up on my arms.

"You seemed kind of bummed today, do you want to talk?" I felt the bed dip as he sat down on it.

"I had a guy ask me out on a date today," I said openly. A downside to having Edward as my best friend for so long was that I sometimes forgot to edit my thoughts.

"Oh, I see," he said, his voice filled with hurt. "Did you want to go out with him?"

"NO!" I said, a little more loudly than intended, but then lowered my voice and continued, "It just made me sad that we can't go out on dates or even really tell people we are taken. I just want to be with you."

"I know Bella, I feel the same way. I love you so much and I want to be able to give you everything and I feel like I have nothing to offer you."

"All I need is you," I whispered, reaching out to touch his face in the dark.

Edward leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. I deepened the kiss and Edward whimpered. I wanted so much to claim him and wipe away any insecurity he may have had, but I knew that with our parents sleeping down the hall, that it was unwise to continue any further.

I chose not to be wise that night.

I pushed his body back and straddled his hips but he quickly flipped me over and positioned me under him.

"Bella, you have to let me…" he mumbled through kisses as his hands wandered my body.

"I'm yours," I said simply.

His hands made quick work of my pajama pants, leaving me in a tank top and boy shorts. The Goosebumps on my skin had nothing to do with the temperature and everything to do with Edward's fingers tracing patterns on my inner thigh. I let out an embarrassing moan as his fingers skimmed the fabric of my underwear, causing him to stop.

We looked at each other in panic as we listened to see if we had been heard. Once he was sure that Renee and Charlie were still asleep, Edward continued his exploration.

"Bella, you are so alluring. You have no idea," he whispered and then continued to pepper my belly with kisses. He threaded both hands through the sides of my panties and then looked at me for confirmation. I nodded and he pulled them off.

I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. I had never been on display like this for another man and I waited for the powerful feeling that I always read about in books. It came right about the time that Edward licked his lips. I pulled him down on top of me again, kissing him frantically. My brain was so foggy that it didn't even register the feel of his hands until they swept across my naked sex. I jolted in pleasure and Edward gained some power of his own in the guise of a smirk.

Edward continued to stroke me as he kissed the juncture where my neck met my shoulder.

I put my mouth by his ear and in a shadow of a voice said, "Edward, please. I want you inside me." There was a slight falter in his breathing and then I felt the most wonderful feeling; Edward's slim fingers pushing into me. I bit my lip to stifle the cry of joy that came straight from my soul.

His fingers worked slowly at first, learning and playing. When my body felt hot and unable to take anymore, I whimpered, causing him to speed up his movements. With more speed came more depth and my body was convulsing in no time.

"I love you," I breathed as my orgasm overtook me. It was only when I came down from my high that I realized how sore my body was. Edward rested his head against my chest and took a few deep breaths.

"I better go wash my hands, and take care of this," he said motioning towards the strain in his sweats.

"Okay," I said, closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.

**EPOV**

Bella, once again, had given me exactly what I needed. I had wanted to give something to her, to make myself feel worthy of her. To watch her come undone like that was the most beautiful moment in my life. I only wished that the lights had been on so that I could have seen more clearly.

I stepped into the bathroom and flicked on the lights, squinting at the change. I flicked on the tap and looked down. I gasped. Blood.

I had hurt her. I was angry at myself for being so rough and even angrier at her for not telling me. I rinsed my hands and then stormed back to her room.

"Bella," I said gruffly as I walked over to her bed.

"Edward?" She asked sleepily.

"Why didn't you tell me I hurt you?"

"What?" She sat up. "You didn't."

"Bella, you're bleeding. I just washed your blood off of my hands."

"What!" she repeated reaching for the light.

The light switched on and it took only a moment for my eyes to adjust this time. I looked down and below her was a red stain on her sheets.

"Why didn't you tell me I was being too rough?" I asked softer than before. If she was hurt, I needed to not be a jerk about it.

"You weren't, Edward, I didn't even notice any discomfort until after. I'm just a little sore but I had no idea that could happen with fingers."

"Do you think you should go to the doctors? Make sure I didn't scratch you too bad or something." I asked, panicked again.

"Edward it wasn't your nails, it was your freakishly long fingers," she said, laughing quietly.

"What are you talking about?"

"You didn't damage me, Edward, you broke my hymen."

"Oh….OH," I said shocked, "are you...are you mad?"

"Of course not Edward, I fully intended on having you break it," she said with a smile, "at least our first time won't be painful now."

I shook my head and stared at the beautiful girl in front of me, she was truly one of a kind.

* * *

After that night something had changed between Bella and me. While I still considered her a virgin, we had shared something that could never be undone. I had always wanted all of my firsts with Bella, and now that they were happening, I was elated. Of course that didn't stop me from thinking about her in the shower, or at night in bed or well, really anywhere.

The summer was hard. With Bella working, I hadn't gotten as much time with her as I would have hoped. I still felt a bit of jealousy about the delivery guy. While never having watched a porno myself, I knew there were a lot of fantasies circling around with that exact scenario. I trusted Bella, I didn't trust him.

I knew they went for lunches occasionally. Bella told me that she informed him of her taken status but I knew she was worth fighting for and I assumed he did too. The caveman boyfriend wanted to go in there and 'mark my territory' as they say, but I knew all that would come across would be an overprotective brother, not exactly threatening.

Nearing the end of summer I thought back on some of the most life changing moments. One of course was that night between Bella and I in her room. Another was celebrating my birthday in June for the first time. Of course the good thing about it was my parents had felt so guilty about lying to me for so long they bought me a Volvo. It may not be the sexiest car out there, but I rocked it.

Bella and I had been getting sloppy and we knew it. Renee had almost caught us once. We were sitting in the backyard, as far as we knew Renee and Charlie were out. Bella was talking about a long day at work. She was frustrated with one of the hygienists who kept talking down to her. I had reached out my hand and placed it on hers and she immediately intertwined our fingers. I pulled her hand into my lap and that is when I heard the back door close. Bella quickly pulled her hand back as Renee came out to check on us.

She had given me a look that made me think she had seen us holding hands but she said nothing about it so I didn't worry about it. The almost outing didn't stop us from taking chances every time we could. Our love was growing and with that, our desire.

* * *

I parked my shiny, new to me, Volvo in the back of the lot. While it may have been a guilt gift, I was sure that if I scratched that puppy on the first day of school there would be hell to pay.

I checked my schedule and headed towards my first class, biology. The teacher had decided to go with the alphabet seat chart putting me beside a girl named Charlotte Simpson. I had seen her around but never really talked to her. She wasn't one of the girls that always hounded me with notes and I was thankful for that.

"Hi," I said, taking the seat next to her.

"Hi," she replied shyly. Even though she wasn't one of the girls that tracked me through school, I recognized her look. The girl liked me.

She was more subtle than the others but I still caught her looking at me during class. I groaned internally and prayed for the year to go quickly. With all of my core group graduated, I was left undefended.

Rose and Emmett were going to school together in Seattle while Alice and Jasper had taken off to California. It was hard for me to say goodbye to Alice after how close we had become but having Bella with me helped.

The day felt like it took forever, and when I got home, all I wanted was to see Bella. Unfortunately, what I got was Renee waiting to blindside me.

"Edward, can I talk to you please." Her tone was hard to read. I was pretty sure I wasn't in trouble but it was hard to tell.

"Sure," I said, following her to my dad's study.

She sat down behind the desk, and I shuddered thinking about the last time I was in here. If I was getting another sex talk, I was out of there. I shuffled in my chair, waiting for her to talk.

"Honey, I just wanted to talk to you. We haven't had a heart to heart in a long time."

"Oh, sure, what do you want to talk about?" I asked wanting to shoot myself.

"Well, I noticed you haven't taken any girls out since Irina."

"Yeah, I guess I just haven't found one I'm interested in yet."

"It's just, you spend so much time with your sister, and I'm worried that you are closing yourself off from a female companion." Seriously, who says 'female companion'? It sounded like my mother wanted me to get a prostitute.

"I'm not. If there was someone I was interested in, I would date them," I said, hoping to get her off my back.

"You're not gay are you?" I started to speak but she cut me off, "Because that would be okay. Your father and I just want you to be happy."

"No mom, I'm not gay."

"Then you should date, Edward. Give one of those nice girls a chance, maybe they will surprise you."

"Okay, I'll think about it." I was officially done thinking about it.

"That's a good boy," Renee said, ruffling my hair as she left the room.

We still had a year to go before we would get out of this town. We could spend it dodging questions or we could do something about it. I didn't know if Bella would go for it, but it seemed like a good idea. If we could create fake dates, then maybe we could have some of our own. Maybe Charlotte would get to date me after all, she would just never find out about it.


	14. Chapter 13

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars, Are you reading her stories yet? Cause you should be.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

A/N- Thanks to everyone reviewing, some have been anonymous so I can't respond, but I love them too.

More A/N at the bottom.

Chapter 13

**BPOV**

When Edward came to me with the plan to pretend to date other people, I'll be honest, I looked at him like he had three heads. There seemed to be so many ways that it could go wrong, but the thought of getting to spend some time alone with him and keep my parents off my back caused me to give in. That is how I ended up learning to flat out lie. I had never been very good at it; apparently all I needed was the right incentive.

"Hey mom," I said, finding her in the laundry room.

"Hi honey," she replied.

"I just wanted to let you know that Edward and I are going out on Friday night. We have a double date."

My mom whipped around and a smile lit up her face. "That's wonderful, who is the lucky boy?"

"His name is Jake; he works for the messenger service that delivers to my work."

She put down the shirt she was folding and gave me her full attention. "Tell me everything! Is he cute?"

"Yeah, he's really cute. Tall, dark skin, nice eyes," I said, listing off Jakes attributes.

"That's wonderful," she exclaimed, "so who is this girl Edward is taking out?"

"Some girl named Charlotte, I think. She's his bio partner."

"I am glad you kids are getting out, having fun."

I smiled at her and then turned around. I left the room and took a deep breath. The hard part was over, I lied and she bought it. The only thing to do now was to wait until Friday night.

Seeing Jake at work that week felt strange. I had a guilty conscious about using him, even if he didn't know about it. It didn't take him long to notice that something was off about me.

"Is everything all right?" He asked leaning over the reception desk.

"Yeah, it's just been a stressful week," I answered.

"You know Bella, even if you don't want to date me, you can still talk to me."

"I know, thanks Jake." I gave him a small smile and he dropped it. That was one of the things I liked most about Jake, he knew when to back off.

Friday night came and I locked myself in my room, arguing with myself over what to wear. I would normally ask Alice or even Edward, but that was impossible. Alice would ask too many questions if I called her in California for wardrobe advice, and I wanted to surprise Edward, so he was out. We decided to go to Port Angeles and see a movie. We knew there was a chance of running into someone we knew so we opted to go see the new Disney cartoon, thinking if our former classmates were there, they would likely be seeing the new monster movie.

I chose to wear a skirt, thinking of the skin-to-skin contact I would get if Edward put his hand on my lap at the movie. It was knee-length and a rusty orange color. I paired it with a chocolate brown sweater that hugged my barely there curves.

I heard Edward's door click open and my heart started beating fast. When he knocked on my door, I jumped.

"Hey Bella, are you ready?" He called quietly through the door. Every time he said my name, my thoughts became more and more R rated. He had probably not even considered the double entendre of his statement, but I sure did. And yes, yes I was.

"You kids have fun tonight," Renee said smiling and blocking the front door.

"Thanks mom," Edward replied and I just huffed.

"Be safe," she yelled as we exited the house. Mortification spread through my body as her comment obviously had nothing to do with driving.

Edward opened the passenger door for me, but when he saw Renee still watching, he left it and went around to the driver's side, leaving me to close it myself. I didn't mind, nothing was going to bring me down on our first official date night.

Once we were on our way, Edward slipped his hand into mine. I looked over at him and smiled. He looked nervous, which only added to his attractiveness in my eyes.

"Bella, do you mind if we go somewhere different tonight?" He asked.

"I don't mind, I'll follow you anywhere," I said truthfully. His face relaxed and he smiled over at me before looking back at the road.

We drove down the freeway, the nights had been getting darker and the sky was a pale orange as the sun set. The light in the sky cast into Edward's hair, causing his bronze highlights to shimmer.

"You really are beautiful," I said, unable to take my eyes off of him, "do you know I used to curse you for having all the good genes. I guess that is because you got yours from a different pool."

Edward laughed and then realized that I wasn't joking. "You don't see yourself very clearly. The locker room at school is still a buzz about Edward Swan's older sister. There isn't a guy in Forks high that doesn't think you're hot."

"I'm just hot by association, cause they can't think you're hot," I said trying to joke away my discomfort at the topic change.

When we arrived in Port Angeles, I became anxious. I had been hoping for some under-the-popcorn-tub groping, and now I was clueless as to where we were going. We pulled up to a small coffee shop that was miles away from the usual places we went. It was perfect.

Inside I was pleasantly surprised to find large lounge chairs and couches set up with tables. There was quiet jazz music playing in the background, and best of all, the place was deserted.

"How did you find this place?" I asked as we sat down with our drinks.

"A little thing called the internet," he teased. I playfully slapped his arm before snuggling into his side.

I felt slightly anxious at being so open with him in public but with no one here to catch us I was going to enjoy it.

Now, not that I'd recommend it for everyone, but dating your brother has real advantages. The first date awkwardness was nowhere to be found. We already knew about each other's likes and dislikes, embarrassing childhood stories, and personal hygiene habits.

I snuggled into his side on the oversized love seat that smelled of spilled coffee, and sighed. Edward shifted so I sat up to let him readjust, only to realize he was looking down at me.

"I need to kiss you," he said, our habit of talking it out had yet to die.

"I'd like that," I replied.

He brought his face close into mine, resting his one hand on my cheek while the other stayed around my shoulder. The rush of adrenaline I felt at being kissed in public by Edward was amazing. I would never need to try drugs in college; I had already found the ultimate high, Edward's soft, steady lips.

When we broke apart, I was panting much more than I would like to admit. "We should go," he said sighing. I grunted but acquiesced, grabbing my jacket to leave.

As we headed back towards Forks, I teased Edward. "Are you sure we can't pull off and park somewhere for a bit?"

The car swerved slightly and Edward cursed under his breath. "Are you trying to get us killed?" I giggled, loving the reaction I elicited from Edward.

We arrived home in plenty of time for our curfew. Actually, Renee and Charlie had dropped my curfew, stating that I was going to be eighteen in a week and therefore responsible enough to come home at a decent hour on my own. The truth was, they both knew that I spent most of my time with Edward, whose curfew was still firmly in place.

"I'm sad I can't kiss you goodnight," Edward said as he pulled into the driveway.

"Maybe mom and dad will be asleep and we can sneak one in," I said hopefully.

Of course, Renee was waiting up to hear all the details about our date. Edward and I had discussed the basics on the way home so we didn't get caught in a lie. He excused himself to bed about five minutes into the conversation and I glared at him for leaving me with the vulture.

Once I finally got away, I headed up to my room and collapsed on my bed. I couldn't help the smile on my face as I thought about my evening. As I thought about Edward and how he held the door for me, or how his eyes crinkled in the corners as he laughed or the sweet smell of his cologne, I couldn't help my hands from roaming my body. I worked myself up until I couldn't take it anymore; the problem was that my orgasm was eluding me.

I huffed in annoyance and looked at the clock. It was already half past one in the morning and I was wide awake and very frustrated. I jumped out of bed and crept across the hall, careful to stay quiet. I didn't knock as I didn't want Charlie and Renee to hear, so I just slowly opened the door.

Edward's back was to me when I entered the room, but it looked like his body was vibrating. Part of me was concerned that he may be having a seizure in his sleep. I fully blame my mother for my overactive imagination.

"Edward?" I whispered in a panicked voice. His head whipped around and from the terrified look on his face, it was clear what he was doing. He let out an embarrassed noise before his eyes rolled back a little.

"Shit Bella, what are you doing in here?" His angry tone hurt and my eyes shot to the ground.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know...I just..."

"Just give me a second," he said, softer than before. He stood up but kept his back to me. I saw him pull a couple of tissues out of the box on his nightstand, obviously cleaning himself up.

"Okay, come here," he said holding his arm out.

"I'm sorry," I repeated.

"Don't be, okay? I was just startled. It's not every day your fantasy woman interrupts said fantasy."

"You were thinking about me?" I asked incredulously. Surely he could think of better women to stick in his fantasies.

"Always," he replied, the honesty in his voice knocking me back. "So, do you want to tell me why you came over here in the middle of the night?"

Even though I had just witnessed him doing the same thing I was about to confess, I felt a little humiliated.

"I ah...well, I mean...I sort of had a problem and I need your help."

"Well that is very cryptic," he replied with a smile.

"You see, we both were kind of doing the same post date activities," his eyes widened, "but mine wasn't as successful as yours." I hoped to God he would get my meaning.

"You were touching yourself?" He asked almost clinically.

"Yes."

"And were you thinking about me?"

"Yes."

"Okay, sit down there, I'm going to wash my hands and be right back." I raised my eyebrows but then sat on his bed.

In less than a minute, Edward was back. His hands made quick work of my problem and I nearly drifted off to sleep before he reminded me to go back to my own room.

When I was all tucked back into my bed I felt my heart swell. My date was truly perfect.

* * *

"Yes, I have an appointment open for Tuesday at three. Okay Mrs. Greeves, see you then...Goodbye."

It had been three weeks of our plan, and Edward and I had gone on four dates. Sometimes they were staged as double dates and sometimes Edward would say he was studying at the library. My birthday had come and gone. Edward had bought me another charm for my bracelet, a small silver 'E' that I wouldn't be able to wear until we moved away, but I kept it in my purse as a reminder anyway.

I stood up from my desk and stretched, thankful it was lunch time. I poked my head into the back to tell everyone that I was leaving for my lunch. As I was setting the phones to the messaging system, Renee walked in.

"Hey mom," I said, surprised to see her there.

"Hi, honey, I thought I would take you to lunch."

"Sounds great, let's go."

The next two minutes happened in slow motion. As I was heading towards the door, it opened and in walked Jake, a large smile on his face.

"Hi Bella," he said dropping the box he was carrying on the desk.

"Hi," I replied.

"You must be Jake, I would know you by your description anywhere," Renee said, extending her hand.

The panic rose.

"Bella talks about me?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Of course, but after that date you took her on last week, how could she not?" I was impressed by Jake's poker face. If he was surprised, he didn't show it.

I swallowed and prayed that he would play along with me. "Yeah, Renee was surprised that you got me out hiking. I've told you how clumsy I am."

"Well I'd never let you fall, dear," Jake said stepping over to me and putting his arm around me. The jerk was enjoying this.

"What's taking so…" Edward's voice clipped off as he took in Jake's amorous stance by me. His face stayed stoic as he stood there waiting for a response.

"Oh Edward, I was just meeting Jake, but you boys are already acquainted."

That was enough to break Jake's calm. He looked at me and then at Edward before righting himself.

"Yeah, hey man," Edward said and Jake nodded but kept his eyebrows furrowed.

"Okay, let's go," I pleaded, pulling myself out from Jake's grasp.

It was going to be an awkward lunch.

**EPOV**

I know Bella already told you about the night she snuck into my room, but I wanted to mention it as well, seeing as it is one of my favorite memories. Her showing up mid-stroke asking me to help her out with her own problem was easily the most embarrassing-slash-hottest moment of my life. The way her body shook as I pleasured her fueled my fantasies for months. I couldn't believe she thought I would choose another woman for my fantasies. She was perfect to me.

I am ashamed at the way I handled the Jake situation, but when I walked in and saw his arm around her, I was okay. It was when I looked at my mom and saw her beaming that I felt jealousy. She would never look at our love like that, it would always be wrong in her eyes and that pissed me off.

I was thankful for him playing along. I'm sure we could have come up with another story if we were caught in the lie but that could have gotten messy. The guy was big and obviously older than her; I wondered why she chose him. I knew better than to think that she would choose him over me, if she had wanted to, she would have already. That's not to say though that I didn't pout all lunch.

We walked across the street to the restaurant, when we sat down Renee excused herself to the washroom.

"That was close," she said once Renee was out of earshot.

"Yeah, he was." I will never once claim to have been a fully mature teenage boy.

"Edward, this was your idea."

"I know, I'm sorry. I could tell how much he was enjoying playing along."

"Well don't worry, he's not the one I like playing with," she replied, her voice low. I cleared my throat as my brain tried to kick start back into gear.

I was in a mildly better mood until Renee came back and continued to grill Bella all lunch about her new beau. I may have taken a couple of subtle jabs at my competition, but I did so in true brotherly fashion.

I blocked Jake out of my mind and was quite successful at it until the following week when Bella came to me distraught. She had just returned home from work and her face looked wild with terror.

"Edward, we need to talk," she said entering into my bedroom.

"What's the matter?" I asked pulling her into a hug.

"It's Jake."

"What about him?" I asked curtly, my jaw tightening.

"He came in today and was asking me what the deal was with mom thinking we were dating. He knew I was seeing someone secretly, but when he saw your face as you came in he thought it was you. I told him that you were my brother and overprotective and he dropped it but he said that if he was getting credit for dating me he should at least be able to take me out on a date."

"What did you say?"

"I told him no, and he said that he just might forget next time Renee is there. What do I do?"

"Dump him," I said.

"What? How, we aren't even dating?"

"I know that, but tell mom that you guys broke up. Then if he says anything, you can just say he was upset over losing you. Who wouldn't be?"

"Then how will we be able to go out so much?"

I held her even closer to me and kissed the top of her head. "We'll figure it out," I said.

Bella had to set up her break up date, and we thought it would be better if she went out alone that night as to not raise suspicion. When I asked her what she was really going to do, she said park along one of the side roads and read a book. The simplicity of her happiness made me love her more.

I spent the evening on Skype with Alice. She and Jasper were settled into their dorms at UCLA and were still going strong. Alice had already made lots of new friends and Jasper, as far as I could tell, was just along for the ride. The only time our conversation got uncomfortable was when she asked about my love life.

"Nope, nothing for me," I said instinctually, "oh except I went on a couple dates with this girl from school." I knew the chance that Alice would speak to either of my parents was low but I still needed to cover my bases.

"Who is it? Do I know her?"

"Her name is Charlotte, she's my bio partner."

"Charlotte Stanson?" she asked.

"Yeah, that's her."

"No, that's not her name. Simpson," she said knowingly.

"Yeah, isn't that what you said?" I asked trying to keep my cool.

"Why are you lying to me, Edward?" she asked.

"I'm not… I…I'm not," I stammered.

Alice left it alone but I knew that she was suspicious. There was no way she could know the truth, but any little step towards it could cause my world to crash down. If there was anyone that I wish I could have told, it was Alice. Even though we hadn't talk as much since she left for school, I still considered her one of my best friends.

Renee, Charlie, and I were sitting down watching the TV when Bella came home that night. I was shocked to see her in tears. A part of me was hyperventilating; concerned that something had happened to her. Her hair was wild and her eyes were red-rimmed and she looked convincingly upset.

"What's the matter honey?" Renee asked

"Jake and I broke up," she said sniffling.

"Did he do anything?" Charlie said gruffly.

"No dad, I just didn't think we were working out. I told him that I just wanted to be friends and he just called me some names. I think he was just really hurt." I had to hand it to her, if we kept this up for the remainder of the year, Bella could go into acting.

Bella went upstairs, and once I waited an appropriate amount of time, which happens to be twenty-one minutes, I headed up to join her. I knocked on her door and she turned as I opened it. Her eyes were still red but she had a large smile on her face when she saw me.

"Do you think they bought it?" She asked.

"How did you do that?"

She turned around and grabbed something out of her backpack, and when she turned back, she was proudly holding a chopped onion. I snickered as I thought about Bella sitting in her truck taking deep breaths over a bag of onions to provide tears for her dramatics.

"You are amazing," I said.

"All for you," she replied, providing me a small kiss on the lips.

**E/N-**

**My other story, The Affair has been nominated for a Shimmer Award. If you haven't read it I hope you will go check it out and vote. Voting starts on December 27. **

**http://shimmerawards(dot)webs(dot)com/**

**Also the wonderful Claire Bloom, author of the equally wonderful Spellbound has started this story a thread over on Twilighted. Come over and chat with us! **


	15. Chapter 14

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

Chapter 14

**BPOV**

Edward and I fell into a good pattern. Renee had seemed to back off since Edward started 'dating' Charlotte. Her guilt lessened when she thought her son was happy. Edward kept his side of the charade going for a few months after I ended my fake relationship. We thought it would be too suspicious for him to break up with his girlfriend right after I broke up with my fake boyfriend.

It was still hard, trying to find time to be alone. Our physical relationship had stayed pretty much the same, and although we were both enjoying orgasms regularly, it felt like something was missing.

Renee was upset when Edward broke up with Charlotte. She had been planning on inviting her to dinner the next week as a surprise. It was one of those close calls that convinced me that God must have been on our side.

About half-way through the school year, Edward and I began looking through college brochures. Our top choice was Chicago as Edward had a strange fascination with the city and I just wanted to make sure we were far enough away that our parents wouldn't drive out for the weekend unannounced.

Edward insisted that we apply to a few places; Alaska, Texas, and Utah were on his backup list. He joked that we would be more than welcome in Utah; I gave him a well deserved smack.

We received the letters from the University of Alaska first. Edward got in and I didn't. I was cheering internally at the rejection as I didn't want to reside in the winter weather of the Northern state. The next letters to come were the ones from Chicago. We were sitting at the table when Charlie brought the mail in.

"Here you go," Charlie said as he threw us each an envelope. I looked at the return address and then up to Edward. "And Edward, you might want to contact them if you get in; they have you addressed as Edward Masen."

"Must be a typo," Edward said smoothly.

"You first," I said, holding my envelope delicately.

Edward ripped open the envelope, his eyes hungry for the answer. He couldn't stop his smile, and I knew he had gotten in. I suddenly felt very scared. I knew that Chicago was Edward's first choice and now I was the only one standing in the way of him going.

I gingerly opened my own letter and glanced down at the paper. The word 'accepted' jumped out at me and I let out a small squeal.

"We're going to Chicago!" I said hopping out of my chair.

"Congratulations kids. I guess we will have to start looking for apartments for you two." Edward and I shared a look at Charlie's comment before giving each other a high five. I wanted to throw my arms around him and kiss him, but I knew this was the acceptable reaction in front of Charlie.

The next few months had left us with a lot of preparations. We searched for over a month before we settled on an apartment. It was a fully furnished, two bedroom that was walking distance to campus. I spent my days at work fantasizing about what it was going to be like when we got there.

_Edward would come home from a class and I would have dinner ready for him. He would rush into my arms, sweep the table off and make love to me on it. _

Or…

_Edward and I would have a quiet night in, making popcorn and watching a movie. About five minutes in he would flip me over on the couch and make love to me. _

Or…

_I would come home, tired from a class, and Edward would be waiting for me at the door with a rose. Once I closed the door he would throw me up against it and….well you get the picture. _

Things were getting back to normal around work. After blowing Jake off and not succumbing to his threat, he was standoffish for a while. Once he realized that I wasn't going to back down, he told me that he would rather be my friend than nothing. He went so far as to apologize for his behavior. I hoped that he would find a girl that would appreciate him because he truly was a good guy.

Leading up to the last couple of weeks of Edward's senior year was hard. I was feeling excited about the future and he was feeling stressed about exams.

"What are you looking forward to the most?" I asked him. I was lying on his bed and he was sitting at his desk.

"Hmmm? I don't know?" He replied, clearly distracted.

"Come on, there must be something."

"Bella, I'm trying to concentrate here. I won't be going anywhere if I fail." His voice was curt, leaving me feeling like I had just been slapped.

"Sorry," I mumbled, getting up to leave.

"Wait," he called out, grabbing my hand and pulling me to his lap. "I shouldn't have snapped, but I really need to study here."

"I know, I'm just so excited. I feel like I'm waiting for our lives to really start."

"That's what I'm looking forward to the most," he replied softly and then kissed me on the nose. I smiled back at him and then got up to leave him alone.

We had a few more of those tiny blow-outs, but we forgave each other each time, the most important thing to both of us was being together and we knew that.

Rose and Emmett came home for Edward's graduation. It was nice to see them again. Rose was beaming as she walked up to me; I checked her ring finger instinctively.

"How are you?" She asked as she pulled me into a hug.

"Great," I replied, "and I see you are as well."

"University is so much fun Bella; you are going to have a blast. I just wish you guys were coming to Seattle with Em and I."

"Yeah, we just wanted to get away and experience something totally new," I said.

"Well you aren't going to get to do that with your brother. I've seen how protective he is of you. You are going to regret going to school with him when he scares away the first cute frat boy." I laughed, thinking about how wrong she was. Oh, Edward would most likely chase away the cute frat boys, but I knew I wouldn't be upset about it.

"He'll be too busy with the sorority girls to pay me any attention," I quipped.

"Did I hear sorority girls?" Emmett said, bounding over to us.

"Hi Emmett," I said as he pulled me into his body and then swung me around.

We had a fun evening, Emmett and Rose drove us to Port Angeles and we snuck into a karaoke bar. The highlight of the night is when Emmett lost a bet and had to sing 'Endless Love.' It wasn't the steamy night that was my grad night, but having only a few months to wait made that all right.

Emmett and Rose stayed for the summer and we had a blast having our friends back. Alice and Jasper decided to stay in California and travel around a bit for the summer. Alice wanted to go to Disneyland and Jasper wanted to see Hollywood. It was harder having some of our group back because Edward and I had to be more careful. We had very little time alone together and even less _time alone together_, if you know what I mean.

When we had to start packing, I was giddy, to say the least. I weeded out a lot of my clothes, and picked only a few mementos to bring with us. The only really big ticket item I was going to bring was my laptop. The apartment had a TV and DVD player, so I knew Edward would bring some movies, but other than that, we were pretty set.

Em and Rose headed back the week before we were to fly out. Our parents were spending all the time with us that they could. Renee would break out into random tears every couple of hours, crying about how she was losing both her babies at once. Charlie was more subtle about his affections, but with the number of shoulder pats Edward had been getting, I knew that he was feeling the loss as well.

I felt a bit of the loss myself. With the choice that we were making, it was only a matter of time before we would have to break off from our parents. They would ask questions sooner or later about our love lives. It would be too hard to lie to them about why we were living together in ten years. It would be easier to cut them off; the thought of it made my heart hurt.

**EPOV**

In case you hadn't already noticed, this is what we call a transition chapter. Nothing really happens; it is just used to skip a bunch of time. I could go into boring detail about my final year in high school or we could jump ahead to college.

Your choice….

Yeah, that's what I thought.

I threw the last of our bags in the trunk of the car. Both Bella and I had three large suitcases full, so in the attempt to make more room in the car, Charlie was staying home while Renee drove us to the airport.

I looked around and saw Charlie hugging Bella; I could tell he was whispering something to her but I couldn't hear. When he finished with her he headed over to me.

"Take care son," he said.

"I will, dad," I replied.

"You watch out for your sister."

"With my life," I replied honestly. Charlie gave a nod and then pulled me into a man-hug. Those are the ones that include a lot of back patting and are generally over in less than ten seconds.

"Come on kids, we have to get on the road," Renee called from around the other side of the car. I didn't know why I was the only one that thought Renee driving was a bad idea. She would undoubtedly cry the entire drive home; I just hoped she would make it safely.

Bella hopped into the back seat as I sat in the front. It's not something I am proud to admit, but I get car sick. You put me in the back of a car for more than twenty minutes and you'll see a repeat of my last meal. She ruffled my hair as she settled in behind me.

"Did you know that Tyler Crowley got into Yale?" Renee said about fifteen minutes into our journey. I could tell it was going to be one of those trips where the gossiper came out.

"I thought he went to a business school," Bella replied uninterested.

"He did, but then he decided he wanted to be a lawyer so he applied and was accepted. Didn't he ask you to prom Bella?"

I held back a groan. Only Renee would play matchmaker for people in two different cities. I think the real reason she was going through her list of gossip was to forget about her children leaving. The problem was, we were left under attack in the process.

"Hey, why don't we listen to some music," Bella said avoiding the question. Renee shot her a side glance but then changed the subject.

On the way to the airport, Bella and I learned more about our friends and neighbors in Forks than we ever cared to. Renee's filter was entirely gone when she spoke about affairs and gambling problems, and one Mr. Banner's drunk driving charge. I had never been so happy to see an airport in my life.

We checked in and said our goodbyes to Renee. As expected, she burst out into tears and reminded us to always wear clean underwear. It wouldn't have been so bad if half the passengers in the airport hadn't heard her.

The short flight to Seattle was uneventful, we had wanted to schedule a layover so that we could go and see Emmett and Rosalie, but it didn't work out with the timing of the flights. As we waited to board our flight in Seattle, I reached over and grabbed Bella's hand. She flinched at first but then looked over at me with a huge grin on her face.

"I guess we can do this now, right?" She said, raising our hands slightly.

"Yup," I responded.

"So then I can do this too." She pulled me to her quickly, her free hand reaching around my neck and guiding me down to her level. Her lips were sweet but the kiss was not. Bella's tongue shot into my mouth and a garbled noise left my throat.

When I pulled back, I responded, "Technically yes, but let's not get arrested for public indecency, okay?"

We relaxed into our seats on the plane; it was fairly small so there was no third seat in our row. Bella wrapped her arm in mine and leaned her head on my shoulder. I drew small circles on her hand and she giggled.

We were still involved in our own little world when the plane took off. After the seatbelt sign had been turned off, the flight attendant came around.

"I noticed you two had the same name on the passenger list, are you newlyweds?" The middle-aged woman asked.

I looked over at Bella in the window seat and her eyebrows shot up; we turned back to the lady and at the same time said, "Yes."

"Oh, I knew it!" She squealed. "Look, I'm not supposed to do this, but I'm going to get you two some champagne." Before either of us could protest, she was off down the aisle to get us our contraband.

She brought two small champagne glasses back with the airlines logo on it. She winked as she set the drinks down on the tray.

"To us," Bella said sniggering.

"May this be the first day of the rest of our lives together," I responded cordially. We clinked our glasses together and took a swig of the cheap liquor. Bella retreated into herself and I looked over at her in question.

"We'll never get this," she said. I knew she was referring to us being newlyweds.

"I know," I said, "but that won't stop me from loving you forever."

She looked up at me with such love and I placed a small kiss on her lips.

"I wish we had already had sex," she said, shocking me with her conversation change.

"What? Why?"

"Cause I kind of want to join the mile high club, but my first time is not going to be in a cramped bathroom." I laughed loudly at her comment. She surprised me every day, and that is something considering I have lived with her my whole life.

Arriving in Chicago was a little daunting, and it didn't help that we were a little buzzed from our free champagne that the flight attendant kept refilling. Once we found a cab and played Tetris with our luggage, we were on our way to the apartment.

The city was shocking compared to the small town we were used to. Neither of us had spent a lot of time in a big city and this one seemed bigger than most. We pulled up to the apartment and I paid the cab driver. Renee had made sure we had plenty just in case. I stayed with the luggage in the lobby area as Bella went to the office to retrieve our key.

We were on the second floor, but with six suitcases and two carry-on bags, we took the elevator. When we arrived on the second floor, I shoved my foot in front of the door as Bella awkwardly dragged the luggage into the hall.

"Hey, let me help you with that," a male voice called out, jogging up towards us.

"Thanks, man," I replied, able to finally let go of the elevator door. We walked down the hallway a few doors before arriving at our new apartment. I took the chance to look at the guy when Bella put the key in the lock. He was a couple inches shorter than me and had blonde hair. He looked like he could have been a jock but not one of those obnoxious frat types. "I'm Edward, by the way, and this is Bella."

"Riley," he replied, "I live right across the hall."

"Nice to meet you Riley," Bella responded as she threw the door open.

"Well, I'll let you two get settled, I'll see you around."

"Later," I replied.

I followed Bella into the apartment and took a quick look around. The living area was small but comfortable. There was a couch and recliner that faced a small TV. The coffee table was old but sturdy looking. To the left was the doorway to the kitchen and I could see from my vantage point that Bella was going to miss our luxury kitchen from back home.

"We have our own place," Bella said spinning around, "and our own neighbors."

"That we do," I said sweeping her off her feet, "and our own bed."

Bella bit her lip as I carried her into first the spare bedroom and then finally to the master bedroom. I laid her down on the bed and covered her body with mine. The simple act of leaving the door open was a far better aphrodisiac then any amount of oysters or chocolate could have been. I slipped my hand under her shirt and began the slow climb to her chest, but she stopped me and pushed me gently off her.

"I'm disgusting," she said.

"Bella, you are definitely not disgusting."

"I have airplane grime on me." I let out a sigh and resigned to letting her up. She hopped up off the bed and headed for the ensuite.

"You coming?" She asked, flicking her hair as she spun her head.

No man in the history of the world has moved as fast as I did that day.


	16. Chapter 15

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

**A/N- I will be offering teasers for anyone who reviews. Or else come join us on the forum where I will put up teasers as well. **

Chapter 15

**BPOV**

As I have said before, Fall is my least favorite season. However, going off to school and getting to move in with Edward made me change my perspective a little. The first night in our new apartment was exciting and nerve-wracking, all at the same time. Edward had started to become very physical with me, and while I enjoyed it, I need some time to breathe, so I decided to head to the shower. Of course my body revolted, and before I could contemplate the words, I asked him to join me.

Edward and I had seen each other in various states of undress, but never completely naked at the same time and definitely never in such harsh lighting. When I flicked on the switch, I cringed at how blue my skin looked in the mirror. I didn't have long to think about it because Edward was behind me in a flash, pulling his shirt off. He then continued to pull his pants down and only stopped when they were around his ankles. I had yet to shed anything.

"What's wrong?" He asked me, suddenly looking nervous.

"Nothing," I lied.

The truth was that Edward was a piece of art. I mean, like chiseled by the hand of perfection to make us lesser mortals know their place. And in the harsh lighting, I was feeling a wave of self consciousness that threatened to overtake me now and again. But Edward, knowing me so well, could read the self doubt in my face. He wrapped his arms around me and looked into the mirror with me.

"You are beautiful," he said softly, causing my breath to quicken and my eyes to dart down. "You can be shy, that is who you are, but don't ever doubt that is what I see when I look at you. You are one of those rare women who are as stunning on the outside as they are on the inside."

My eyes darted up and met his in our reflection. "How did you get so sweet? I'm sure it wasn't from Charlie." I laughed a little at my lame joke. "All the girls are going to want to steal you."

"Bella, I may get attention, but you get me. Okay?"

"Okay," I replied.

He smiled at me and then tugged on the bottom of my shirt. "Now, how about that shower?"

Edward was reverent in his attention in the shower. He washed my hair and body, causing me to flush with excitement. The bed in the other room was daunting. I knew that when we came away to school we would have sex but I didn't really have a time limit in mind. Would he want to do it tonight? After travelling all day I was feeling exhausted and didn't want to stain our first time with yawning half-way through. I had gone on the pill but we had discussed that it would be a good idea to use two forms of birth control. Accidents were not something we could chance. I wondered if Edward brought condoms with him in anticipation or if we needed to go buy some.

"Hey," he said softly as he held my body to his, "where did you go?"

"Sorry," I replied, "I'm just really tired."

Edward reached over and turned the shower off. I stepped out of the tub and noticed that there were no towels in the room.

"I don't suppose you saw a linen closet?" I asked shivering.

Edward poked his head out of the shower curtain and chuckled. "Nope."

"Wish me luck," I said before opening the door and sprinting out. Water was dripping off me and the coolness of the rest of the apartment made my body cover over in goose bumps. I tried two doors before I found the right one. I grabbed two towels and ran back to the room.

Edward was standing in the doorway naked and…aroused. I handed him a towel after I made good and sure to ogle his juicy bits. We dried off and put our sleep clothes on; the fact that Edward didn't wear underwear beneath his pajama bottoms did not escape my notice.

Curling into his arms, I felt the pressure leave me; I knew we would just be sleeping. We could cherish each step that we were experiencing. Not since my grad night had we been able to sleep in each other's arms and my body cried out in relief when I felt his arms encompass me.

"Goodnight love," he whispered sleepily.

"Goodnight.

* * *

The unfortunate side effect of going to sleep feeling loved is you wake up incredibly horny. Okay, so it's not that unfortunate, unless you are a virgin and all you want to do is jump the bones of the man lying next to you and there isn't a condom in sight.

Edward's body heat was burning a hole through my back and his hand was splayed across my hip, fingers resting on my hip bone. I looked over at him and realized that there would be no more perfect time to make love to him than then. I slipped myself out of his arms and quietly made my way into the living room, where we had unceremoniously dropped our bags the prior evening.

I rifled through Edward's bags, now hoping that he had the foresight to pre-buy some condoms. When I was thoroughly convinced that the apartment was rubber free, I grabbed my jacket and threw it on over my pajamas.

I slowly closed the door behind me, careful to not wake Edward with the click. With my wallet in my pocket and my favorite striped flannel pajama pants on, I made my way quickly out of the building. I had seen a small convenience store on the corner when the cab had pulled up. I made my way to the small shop and looked around frantically for the 'family planning' section.

Once I arrived in front of the contraceptives, I was shocked at the amount of choices that were laid before me (no pun intended). There were thin, ribbed, studded, flavored, pleasure prolongers, and what appeared to be an extra large size. The choices were staggering and that didn't even take into consideration the lubes.

Not really even thinking, I threw a box of each kind into a small basket along with three different types of lube. I figured we could try them all out and choose our favorite. It wasn't like they were going to go bad. I planned to have a lot of sex with Edward. I didn't become embarrassed by my prophylactic hoarding until I saw the look on the clerks face. He looked down at my stash and then back up at me, flashing me a toothless grin and mumbling, "Very nice," in a thick Chinese accent.

My face was red but I had my stash and I wanted more than anything to get home before Edward woke up. As I entered the apartment, I held my breath to see if I could hear Edward stirring. I was sure he was still asleep but my own heartbeat in my ears made it hard to hear anything above its incessant beating.

When I got back to the bedroom, I placed the bag of goodies on the nightstand. I crawled back into the bed and into Edward's arms.

"Mmmm, why are you so cold?" He asked, pulling me closer.

"I just had to run out for something. Maybe you could warm me up," I purred. Or at least I tried, but I probably sounded closer to a rabid dog than a feisty feline.

Edward's eyes opened at my statement and I knew it had the desired effect. I kissed along his neck as I felt his sleepy arms caressing me. I nibbled on his earlobe, and as I knew it drove him crazy, I was rewarded with a moan. I slowly slid my body down his, coming to rest in front of his straining pants. I pulled them down quickly, allowing him to leap free. I wasted no time taking him in my mouth.

"Okay, I'm awake," Edward shot up into a sitting position as I giggled around his erection. He pulled me off and I pouted. "Not that I am really complaining, but what is this about?"

"Edward, I need you," I whined.

He looked at me and then raised his eyebrows. "Need me how?"

I didn't answer, I just reached over and grabbed the bag on the nightstand and handed it to him. He looked inside and then back up at me and then down into the bag again.

"Bella...how did you...when…now?" He stuttered and it only made me want him more.

Suddenly full of confidence, I whispered huskily, "What, do you want me to beg?"

"Well, kind of, but I don't think that will help matters right now," he said still wide-eyed.

"What's the matter?" I asked in all seriousness.

"Bella, I just want you to know that there is only one thing in the world I want more than this, and that is for you to never regret how we share our first time."

"I only want to be with you, Edward, and if I went out today and got hit by a bus, cause knowing me that could happen, my only regret would be that we threw away an opportunity to love each other in a way we haven't yet experienced."

"Tell me how you want me," Edward said, filled with passion. My speech had apparently awoken the monster inside and he was staring at me with lust-filled eyes.

"I think I want you on top," I said, feeling unsure. He nodded.

Our passion built as we stripped the remains of our clothes off. Edward's hands sent a blaze through my body that left me quivering.

"Are you ready?" He asked.

"Not yet," I said nervously, just wanting to experience his hands on me a little longer.

"You are so beautiful, Bella. I love you so much," he whispered on my skin, burning the words into my soul.

After another lap around my body, I spoke, "I'm ready."

Edward reached over and grabbed a box out of the bag, pulling out the thin ones. "I don't think we need the lube," he said chuckling. I blushed at his comment.

I watched Edward as he took the condom out of the package and placed it on his manhood. He struggled with it as he tried to unroll it, causing it to break.

"Shit," he said.

"Here, let me," I responded, grabbing another foil from the box. Who knew I would have ever thanked Renee for her embarrassing sex talk, but as I pinched the tip and rolled it down seamlessly over Edward's cock, I couldn't help but send my silent appreciation to her.

Edward positioned his body above mine, his face deep in concentration.

"Hey, it's just me," I said, reaching up to touch his furrowed brow.

He smirked at me as he lowered himself down. The feel of him inside of me was nothing I could have ever been prepared for. There was no discomfort or pain, only sheer bliss as he sheathed himself completely. The moment he entered my body, any residual sisterly affection I had for him melted away into a mixture of love and lust.

"Edward, you feel fucking fantastic," I blurted, clearly losing the brain-to-mouth filter.

"God Bella, don't say that. I'm trying to be good for you," he whimpered, closing his eyes.

I shifted my hips, testing out our connection. His tip hit a new wall with each rock of my hips. Before I could say 'holy crap' my body seized up, providing me with an intense orgasm. I grabbed Edward's ass and pulled his body tightly to mine. The action caused him to lose his balance and collapse all his weight on me. The feel of him inside me and completely covering me made me feel whole.

Edward righted himself and continued pumping his hips into mine. Before long, he was twitching and growling, sending me over the edge again.

He rolled over and pulled out of me. One hand went to his face as he apologized, "I'm so sorry."

"Why?" I asked, genuinely surprised.

"Bella, that was like five minutes," he replied.

"I came twice Edward; you have nothing to be ashamed of. You only came once," I said teasing.

"I love you," he said, stroking my arm.

"Me too. Now rest up, cause I want to do that again later, Sprout."

"You promised," he whined, referring to the nickname he had acquired as a baby. His hair was always sticking straight up and mom had dubbed him her little sprout.

"Yeah, but after that, all bets are off," I chuckled.

Edward pulled the covers over us and I slipped my arm over his, drifting off to sleep.

**EPOV**

If I had had any doubts about loving Bella forever, they disappeared the night we first had sex. The way her body responded to mine, and frankly, the way mine responded to hers, was nothing less than ethereal.

We had two weeks before classes started and we made every moment count. Mundane things like grocery shopping and laundry suddenly became bonding time for me and my girl.

I had been sent down to the laundry room to retrieve our clothing when I bumped into our neighbor.

"Hey Riley," I said, stacking the two laundry baskets on top of each other.

"Hey Edward, how are you and your girlfriend settling in?" It was the first time someone else had called her that and I tried hard not to look like a douche and break out in a cheesy grin.

"Good. You've lived here long?"

"Naw, just since the beginning of the summer. My girlfriend, Victoria, lives on campus. You guys are so lucky, our parents forbade us to live together. Not that she doesn't spend most of her time here anyway, but it would be nice to just make it official. How did you two swing it?"

"Uh, our parents don't really know we are seeing each other," I said, trying to keep as much truth in it as I could.

"They must be blind, cause the way I saw you two looking at each other it was more than obvious to me. Hey, we should have you guys over to hang out tomorrow night, if you're free."

"I think so; I'll just check with Bella and let you know. What time?"

"Seven-ish," he replied.

"Okay, see you later."

I took the clean clothes back up to the apartment; Bella was sitting on the couch watching Dr. Phil. I placed the baskets on the coffee table in front of her and we started to fold.

"I wonder what Dr. Phil would say about us?" She asked after a few moments of sorting.

"He's from Texas, I'm sure he'd be fine with it," I joked.

"Come on Edward, do you have to insult every state? Isn't there one you like?"

"I'm liking Illinois pretty good right now," I said, leaning over and kissing her. What was intended as a small kiss quickly converted into a few boob grabs and an ass squeeze.

When she pushed me off and went back to the laundry, I told her about Riley's invitation. She seemed really excited to make some new friends. I had to admit, the thought of having couple friends that we could do couple things with, sounded pretty good to me too.

* * *

Riley's place was similar to ours, only his was a one bedroom. When we entered, I noticed that it was quite clean for a guys place, and then I remembered him saying something about his girlfriend practically living there.

Riley opened the door with big smiles and ushered us in. Sitting on a gaudy, orange couch was an attractive red-head. Her face looked severe, but when she saw us she smiled, and her look became innocent.

"You must be Edward and Bella," she said, standing up to greet us, "I'm Victoria, but you can call me Vicky."

"Hi Vicky, it's nice to meet you," Bella said, holding out her hand. Victoria smirked but shook it.

"Have a seat guys. Can I get you anything to drink?" Riley asked.

"Sure, whatever you're having," I replied and Bella nodded.

"So where are you two from?" Vicky asked when Riley left the room.

"A small town in Washington," I replied.

"Forks," Bella chimed in.

Riley returned with a couple of beers. I shot a look at Bella, knowing the last time she drank beer was at a party two years back. Her eyes glinted her answer and I passed her drink over.

"What about you guys?" Bella asked.

"We're from Wichita, Kansas," Riley said with a tinge of an accent. "Vicky and I have been together since our junior year. Our parents flipped when they found out we were moving so far away so they put a kibosh on our living arrangements."

Bella shifted on the couch and I changed positions so that she could cuddle in under my arm.

"Yeah, you guys are so lucky," Vicky said. "How long have you been together, you two seem to be in sync?"

"Well we've been together for a little while but we have known each other since we were in diapers," I said causing Bella to snort.

The rest of the evening was relaxed and fun, we shared many common interests and it was looking like we would have our first friends since moving. When we said goodbye that night, I was excited, we made it through our first social situation as a couple. It was easy being with Bella and I knew she felt the same way.

"I like them," Bella said as we closed the door to our apartment.

"Me too," I replied, grazing her neck with my lips.

"I like you," she said, spinning around to face me.

"Good," I said picking her up and throwing her over my shoulder. I spanked her ass once for good measure and she made an 'ooooohhh' noise that made me wonder if she liked it or she was just teasing.

I tossed her gingerly down on the bed and hovered over her. Her eyes never looked more beautiful then when she was feeling amorous. They sparkled with delight as I ran my hands up and down her thigh. She sighed, and unfortunately it was not the kind that meant she was enjoying herself.

"What's the matter?"

"Edward, do you still sometimes think of me as your sister?"

"Bella, I can guarantee that I am not thinking of you as a sister right now."

"Be serious," she stated.

"Sweetpea, I have all the same affection that I did for you before only now there is more of it and it's laced with lust," I waggled my eyebrows. "Okay, so it pretty much was always laced with lust."

"You suck," she said, but the smile she was trying to hide told me she was okay.

I continued kissing her until the reality of her question caught up with me. "Wait. Do you think of me as a brother still?" I was horrified of the response I was about to receive. If she still saw me as a sibling what would that mean about her, or about me?

"No. But sometimes it makes me sad, but then I feel guilty because I have way more then I should."

"You can't possibly have more when you deserve everything."

Bella's lips met mine, then and our conversation was done.

Bella and I had built a bubble around us, so when we started classes, reality kicked in. We were here to learn and we were just lucky that we got to do it together. As we were both undergrad students and hadn't chosen a major, we had a few classes together. I decided to take a few more science based classes as they interested me more and Bella took more arts based ones.

I kissed the love of my life goodbye as she headed towards her English class and me to my Chem class. I took a seat in the large auditorium in the second row on the side. There weren't many seats left and I wondered if everyone would be so punctual for the rest of the year.

The professor walked in and I was shocked at his young appearance. He couldn't have been more than early thirties, far too young to be teaching in a University.

"Good morning everyone, I'm going to pass out a syllabus of the course. He handed a stack of papers to a girl sitting on the other side of the room from me in the front row. Also, here is a schedule of my office hours." He walked back across the room and stopped when he locked eyes with me. "What's your name?"

"Uh, it's Edward Masen."

"Okay Edward, can you pass these out please," he said handing me the stack of paper.

"And one more thing," he said addressing the class, "I don't like formalities, so call me Carlisle."


	17. Chapter 16

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

Chapter 16

BPOV

I waited outside of Edward's class. I had been let out early so I went over and camped outside the door, waiting for him to exit. We both had an hour until our next class, and after only one week of school, we had already slipped into a regular routine. Said regular routine included making out between ten fifteen and eleven twenty.

The door opened, and I was still imagining Edward's kisses as people started filing out. Edward was the last one out and he was accompanied by who I assumed was his teacher.

"Thanks Carlisle, I really appreciate it," Edward said before noticing me. His face lit up every time he saw me and it was something I would never tire from.

"No problem, Edward," the attractive man replied.

"Hey baby," he said, turning to me and giving me a kiss. I saw Carlisle smirk out of the corner of my eye, and for a second he looked familiar.

"Hi," I replied.

"You're early."

"You complaining?" I asked.

"Never."

"So, is that the teacher you are always talking about?"

Edward had mentioned him after his first day. This teacher was smart and witty and able to teach in a way that provided both fascinating learning and a relaxed atmosphere. The way Edward talked about him, you would think he was the Gandhi of teaching.

* * *

I was just about to relax into a nice, warm bath when the phone rang. Edward was out studying at the library and I had wanted to take a breather. Murphy's Law is a bitch.

"Hello," I said, standing in the buff with the phone in my hand.

"Bella?" A familiar voice chirped.

"Alice!" I replied, "How are you?"

"Great Bella, I miss you guys so much. School is going great, but Jasper is working all the time. His scholarship wasn't renewed this year and so he had to get a job. I never see him anymore."

"That sucks, I don't know what I would do if I never got to see E…..my boyfriend. Hypothetically speaking, of course."

"That sounded suspicious. You have your eye on someone, don't you?" She pressed.

"No, not yet. I'm still just getting used to being on my own and shuffling classes and homework. I think I would have to live with someone to make it work and that might be awkward with a perfect stranger." She chuckled and I knew I was in the clear for now.

"Jasper and I have been talking and we will be back for Christmas this year, are you and Edward coming?"

"I think so; our parents have already offered to buy the tickets. Are Rose and Emmett coming back?"

"I don't know, they said something about Vegas but I think once Rosalie's mom starts on her she won't be able to say no."

Alice and I talked for a little while longer. She was upset to have missed Edward but she promised that she would call back another day. When I finally got off the phone with her, my bath water was cold. I groaned and pulled the plug, allowing the water to drain. When it was all out, I started the hot water again and waited for the tub to fill up.

Just as I shut off the water and stuck a toe in, I heard the front door close.

"Honey, I'm home," Edward chuckled. I looked forlornly into the small sanctuary and sighed.

"In here," I called out.

Edward bounded into the bathroom as I stood there in my birthday suit. "So Alice texted me and said that she….well hello." His eyes roamed my body, and I looked back at my full tub of water and quirked an eyebrow as if to say, 'can you blame me?'

I grabbed Edward's hips and pulled them close to me, feeling turned on at the way his clothes brushed against my naked chest. He leaned down to kiss me but then stopped to say, "I don't want to interrupt your bath."

I rose up on my tippy toes and planted a kiss on his lips. "You aren't," I lied. While he was interrupting my bath, I couldn't care less. He picked me up and carried me back into the bedroom. When he stood me down by the bed, I took the opportunity to alleviate some of his clothing.

The sight of Edward's chest made me weak in the knees each and every time I saw it. He had started doing sit ups everyday and lifting weights three times a week. His pec muscles called out to me, and told me to do dirty, dirty things.

Although we had only been having sex for a short time, it was anything but boring. I told Edward I wanted to try every position at least once so I could accurately pick my favorite. His answer to that was a giant smile followed by a mind-blowing orgasm with his head between my legs.

Our bodies came together in such unison that I sometimes wondered if it was like that for everyone. But I knew that it wasn't. Edward and I came into our relationship with so much trust that was built over our entire lifetimes. There was no worry about the hurting each other so we were free to experiment without fear.

"I want to try doggy style," I said putting my hands and knees on the bed and propping my ass towards Edward.

I heard Edward shuffle behind me and I knew that he was removing his boxers. I shook my ass a little to tease him, he replied by giving said ass a smack. The feeling of shock flew over me right before the euphoria.

"Do it again," I said slightly embarrassed that I got so excited by a smack.

"What?" He asked incredulously.

"Spank me," I replied, louder.

The room was quiet as the sound of Edward's breathing picked up. I could feel the tension in the air right before the sting landed on my bottom again, followed by the pleasure. Wetness ran down my leg.

"I need you in me, now!" I said forcefully.

The rustling sound of the foil being ripped preceded the act I had been waiting for. Edward's hands grabbed my hips and he thrust into me. In this position, I could feel so much more of Edward. Every slide rubbed along my front wall and tapped on my G spot.

"Harder," I begged as the feel of my orgasm built.

Edward complied, because he is nothing, if not a good listener in bed. A few pumps at the new speed and I dropped to my elbows, my arms giving out. That put me in another fantastic position which caused an immediate orgasm.

"Oh fuck," Edward said behind me as I felt him pulse inside of me.

I rolled onto my back and Edward joined me on the bed. "I know I said I want to try everything, but I'm pretty sure that is my favorite," I said still breathing heavily.

"It was a good position," he concurred, "but I missed your eyes."

"We could rectify that by getting a mirror."

"Fuck, I love you."

* * *

Riley and Victoria had become very good friends with us over the next couple of months. We had a standing Friday night dinner with them that we would take turns hosting. We would usually see each other at least twice a week. Victoria was a very good painter and had turned me onto the idea of trying. I wasn't very good but we enjoyed hanging out without the boys sometimes. They were just as happy to play video games for our girl time.

"Argh, what am I doing wrong?" I asked, frustrated with my lame bowl of fruit.

Victoria stepped around her canvas and took a look at mine. "It's not wrong; it just needs to be shaded more."

"So what are you guys doing for Christmas?" I asked Vicky.

"Going home, it will suck not being able to share a bed for two weeks, you know?"

"Yeah," I replied. It was something that Edward and I were dreading. At least Victoria and Riley could act like a couple when they went home. Edward and I were going to have to switch back into brother and sister mode. It was going to be hard.

"What are your families like? Are you guys going to get to see much of each other over the holidays?" She asked.

"Yeah, we all kind of do it together." I felt bad lying to my friend but it just seemed easier than the truth.

"Nice."

With Christmas break only two weeks away, I was starting to panic. How was I going to stop looking at Edward like I was in love? Would he be able to stop looking at me that way, and if he did, how much would it hurt?

**EPOV**

I approached my professor's door; I had wanted to hand my assignment in early so that I could get it out of my head. It was a rush trying to finish everything I needed to before the break. I knocked on the door and I heard his voice calling for me to come in.

"Hello, Carlisle." I still had a funny feeling calling him that; it seemed like too informal a title for him.

"Hello, Edward, what can I do for you?"

His office was small but immaculate. There was a large, mahogany bookshelf against the wall behind the matching desk. On his desk was a laptop and what I assumed was family pictures. One of them caught my eye. A beautiful woman with reddish-brown hair, whom I assumed was his wife, was holding a striking young blonde girl in her arms. Both were smiling but neither was focused on the camera. The happiness was evident in the small candid picture.

"Is that your family?" I asked and then felt wrong for intruding.

"Yes, that is my wife, and daughter, Tanya."

"They're very beautiful," I said.

"Thank you."

"So, I just came by to drop off my assignment."

"It's not due until next week," he replied.

"I know, but it's done and I just need to get it off my desk."

"I understand," he stated, "I'm the same way."

* * *

"What do you feel like eating?" Bella called from behind one of the kitchen cupboard doors.

"Anything but chicken," I replied. Eating on a budget had been less than fun. If I had one more meal of chicken and noodles, I was going to scream.

"I got some deli meat. I could just make some soup and sandwiches."

"Sounds good."

The phone rang and I left the room to go answer it.

"Hello."

"Hi honey," Renee's voice cooed back.

"Hey mom, here let me put you on speaker." I walked back into the kitchen so Bella could be part of the conversation as well.

"How are you kids doing?" She asked.

"Great mom, I'm looking forward to your cooking," Bella said, rifling through the fridge for fixings.

"Are you not eating right?" Her voice was worried and I rolled my eyes at her being overdramatic, as usual.

"No, we are. Bella is a great chef," I said smiling at my love. I would have liked to give her a kiss but I didn't want to explain the silence if mom asked.

"Do you two have everything packed a ready to go?"

"Just about," Bella replied.

"I can't wait to see you kids, your father and I miss you so much."

"We miss you too," I stated.

"Okay, you be safe, and I will see you in a few days."

"By mom," Bella and I said in unison.

When I hung up the phone, Bella was staring at me with confusion in her eyes. Before I could register her moving, she was in my arms. I returned her frantic kisses, pulling her body towards mine.

"How am I going to not touch you for two weeks?" She moaned as she ground herself into me.

"We just have to. We are in a pattern here but we have to remember how serious this whole thing is." She pulled back from me slightly, sadness in her eyes. "We could lose our family."

"I know," she whispered quietly. "I can't decide if it would be easier to wean myself off you for a few days or get as much as I can before we have to stop."

As sensitive as I claim to be, I really didn't want her to pick the first option, so I used a Jedi mind trick to convince her. I swiped my hand gently across her breasts and said, "You really want as much as you can get."

She giggled and I knew it had the right effect. She pulled me close to her once again and I lifted her up on the counter, evening out our heights.

"You know, we haven't done it like this yet," she said winking.

I groaned in appreciation for the best fucking girlfriend in the world.

* * *

I felt like we were off to the gallows the day we left for the airport. Vicky and Riley had left a couple days before us so we couldn't even use them to distract us from the coming separation. I honestly did not know how I was going to be able to sleep without Bella by my side.

Our hands were clasped tightly together in the cab, neither of us wanting to let go until we had to. We had decided that once we arrived at the airport we would act as brother and sister again. We didn't want anyone on our plane to accidently blow our cover. We knew it was a long-shot but these were the types of preparations we had to take.

I leaned over and kissed Bella softly on the cheek as I'd seen the airport come into view. She looked at me and forced a small smile.

The plane ride home was long, and we barely said a word to each other. Instead, we pulled the thin airplane blankets over us and locked pinkies on the armrest. Bella took a nap for about a half hour, murmuring in her sleep.

"Wake up Bella, we're here," I said softly nudging her. She opened her eyes and took a minute to adjust.

"I'm going to miss you," she said softly.

"I'll be right there," I replied.

We grabbed our luggage just as Charlie sauntered up.

"Merry Christmas," he bellowed.

"Merry Christmas, dad."

We packed our things into the cruiser and headed towards Forks. I looked at Bella and could tell we shared the same thought.

This was going to be a long two weeks.

**E/N- I will be including teasers for the next chapter for anyone who reviews. I won't be able to if you review anonymously though.**


	18. Chapter 17

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

**A/N- Thanks to ****http://lovingangels07(dot)blogspot(dot)com/?zx=a15801499ef7f9c1**** for rec'ing my fic. **

Chapter 17

BPOV

I fiddled with the sweet pea charm on my bracelet. It made me feel connected to Edward while we had to stay apart. My old bed in my old room looked cold and lonely. I thought briefly of just outing us to our parents and kidnapping Edward to have my way with him in the bed that housed all my Edwardian fantasies. And yes, some of them did involve a corset, so I do think that is an apt description.

I shook the feeling off and changed into my pajamas. It had been three torturous days since we had arrived. Charlie had whisked Edward off to go buy a Christmas tree and Renee cajoled me into baking cookies. This was common practice in our household, something that I looked forward to every year, but it felt empty. Christmastime was a time to be thankful for loved ones and I felt dishonest not being able to express my love in the way I wanted.

It wasn't that I didn't get to see Edward much; it was just that the time spent together was almost harder than the time spent apart. To have him sit across from me at the table, or to have to tease him as a sister would playing games, it made me feel like I had a hole in my chest.

We did have one respite, and that was Charlie and Renee had taken up jogging. I know, I was shocked too. Apparently, after we had left home, they felt the need to rekindle; something about flapping bits not being sexy. To be honest, I tuned out and am better for it. But that left us with an hour and a half of uninterrupted time from seven to eight-thirty in the morning. We kept it PG most mornings, as we didn't want to look freshly fucked when our parents returned. That was so _not_ the way we wanted them to find out.

We curled up on the couch and started a movie; we had been home for four days and were enjoying our morning time together. I laced my fingers into his, and was about to lay my head on his shoulder when, I heard a voice behind me.

"What are you kids watching?"

I let go of Edward's hand immediately and righted my head. I heard Edward swallow as we both stared, frightened, at the TV.

"I thought you were running," I said, not answering her question.

"I wasn't feeling well, so your dad went without me," Renee replied. The lack of accusations or yelling told us that she hadn't seen anything.

* * *

"Bella, I can't take this anymore," Edward said, standing in my room. "I need to touch you. I just need to say I love you."

"I love you too, baby. It's just ten more days."

"No, it's not," he replied sadly.

"What?"

"Bella, this is forever. If we never tell them, this is what Christmas will look like every year. What if we want to have kids, Bella, how are we going to explain that to them?"

"If they find out, they will hate us," I whimpered.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Edward, we are from a small town. Can you think of the gossip if this was Jasper and Rose? We would shame them."

"What do we do?" He inquired softly.

"Maybe it's best if we cut them out of our lives. I think it will hurt less than them finding out."

"Either way, we lose our family."

"Or we lose us," I stated. "Listen, we have lots of time to think about this. Let's just get through this Christmas first, okay?"

"Okay," he conceded. "I need to kiss you."

"Me too baby, me too."

* * *

If you've never had a tiny person wrap themselves around your body like a parasite, you've likely never met Alice. She exploded and all her bits latched onto me when we met up with her and Jasper for a visit.

"Bella, I missed you so much," she said in her high pitched voice, "and Edward, come here." She detached from me and proceeded to ooze herself onto Edward. I might have been jealous if it wasn't so funny.

"Hey Alice," he said, returning the hug with just as much vigor as her.

"Hi Jasper," I said, giving my friend a quick hug. He smiled and returned the greeting.

"Where are Rosalie and Emmett?" Edward asked once free of the vice grip.

"Vegas," Alice said simply.

"No freaking way!" I said surprised that they did it.

"I think they are coming back hitched," Jasper replied.

"You think?" Edward asked. "But they are so young."

"When you know, you know," Alice responded.

"What about you man, do you know?" Edward queried as he slapped Jasper on the back. Jasper's face turned pale as he lost his calm façade and started stammering.

"Don't worry Jazz, I can wait until you know," Alice said sweetly but her next words felt like a threat, "cause you will know."

Edward raised his eyebrows at me and I broke out into a laugh. Looking into his eyes, I almost forgot Alice and Jasper were there, and that was a dangerous thing to do.

"So, what about you two, single life in college must be a lot of fun?" Alice looked between Edward and me, curious to see who would answer.

"Uhm, I've been too busy to really go out. The workload is a lot more than I expected," I reasoned lamely.

"I went out with a couple of people but no one really caught my interest," Edward said, shocking both me and Alice.

I felt a sting at his words but I knew it would look better if one of us was getting out. Our alibi always had to be more important than our feelings when we were at home. It was one of the reasons I just wanted to change our names and run away.

* * *

Edward gave me a small paintbrush charm to add to my bracelet for Christmas. He also provided me with a Laura Corn tear-away book, but that was given in private. Each page was a secret seduction for either him or her to surprise the other one with. I couldn't wait to get back home to use it.

I realized while visiting my parents that I no longer felt like that was home. Home was where Edward and I were free to be who we were; together and in love. Home was a small flat in Chicago with great neighbors and a broken garbage disposal. I missed home.

**EPOV**

I really missed Alice. I didn't realize how much until I saw her again. If I could see the future, I would love to know what would happen if I told her about Bella and me. I would love nothing more than for her and Jasper to live in the same city as us and be able to keep our friendships. And it wasn't just because I missed my shopping buddy, although that was a part of it.

"Edward, those shoes are hot, you have to get them," Alice said to me as I tried on a pair of brown leather sneakers. University had done little to quell my 'shoe fetish' as Bella had dubbed it.

"Bella will kill me if I bring home one more pair of shoes," I said, looking down at the attractive footwear.

I felt Alice's eyes on me and I noticed my slip. I pretended to keep interested in the footwear, not knowing what to say.

"Who cares, it's just your sister, right?" Alice's question was loaded and I feared she realized that.

"Yeah, but we have a tiny apartment and a full shoe rack," I backpedaled.

"I guess. You wouldn't want any of the girls you bring back to know about your freaky love of shoes too soon anyway," Alice giggled.

"Yeah, I guess it would be a one-in-a-million kind of a girl that would love me for me." And I was lucky enough to have found her.

"Don't be so emo, Edward, you'll find your girl," Alice said, misreading me. "I'm going to buy you these shoes and you are going to meet hot girls in them."

"Sounds like a plan," I said, heavy-hearted.

* * *

Bella bought me a video camera for Christmas. I had been wanting one for a while, but what I wasn't expecting was returning to my room that night to find a small disc on my pillow with a note saying, 'Watch me.'

I put the small disc in the camera and pressed play. My eyes widened when I saw what was on the tape; Bella, standing in our room at home, wearing a slinky, black dress. I both dreaded and prayed for certain things to be on that tape. My prayers were answered.

Bella left the screen for a quick moment and music started to play. I could hear the beat but couldn't make out the song. When she returned, she winked at the camera and shimmied out of her dress. Underneath said dress was a blue lace underwear set that I had never seen. My hand landed on my dick by its own accord.

I stroked myself as I watched Bella dance on the tiny screen. She turned away from the camera and looked back over her shoulder before undoing her bra and dropping it to the floor. She turned back around but kept her arm folded over her chest. I shifted in my bed, sitting up higher so that I was at a better angle.

"Do you like what you see baby?" She purred, staring into the lens.

"Fuck yeah," I answered, only feeling slightly stupid for talking to a recording.

Bella then dropped her arms, exposing her breasts to me. I moaned at the sight. It had been too long since I touched them, kissed them, loved them. She turned sideways to the camera, bending her front leg slightly and then wiggled her way out of her panties. The side S curve of her body caused my hand to move faster.

The strip-show was fantastic, don't get me wrong, but what followed blew more than just my mind, if you get my drift. Bella lay down on the bed and began touching herself. I am not embarrassed to say I didn't make it to the end of the video before I finished. I did, however, rewind and watch it three times before going to sleep that night.

"Merry Christmas, baby," I heard her breathy voice say through the speaker as I fell asleep.

* * *

I had been thinking a lot about my birth parents over the holidays. I wondered what they were doing. Did they have their own families? Were they happy? Did they ever regret giving me up? And with no father's name on the birth certificate, did he even know I existed? Or worse, did my mother not know who he was? I had nothing but my mother's name to go from, but I was scared to search. I wasn't even sure I wanted to meet her.

One thing that neither Bella nor I had thought about was New Years. We were heading back to Chicago on January first which meant we wouldn't get a New Years kiss. I pouted like a fat kid getting kicked out of a candy store.

We planned to spend the evening with Alice and Jasper. Renee and Charlie were going out with friends of theirs so that left us guilt free to spend it with our friends. I wanted to blow off Alice and Jasper, telling them we would be with the parents, but she said it was too risky. She was right, but after that video, I needed more than my hand.

Alice and Jasper ended up coming over to our place for the night; they were handsy and it pissed me off. My sour mood effected Bella and it wasn't long until we were silent observers of the night.

"Lighten up, you two. If it makes you feel any better, I can kiss Bella at midnight and Jasper can kiss you, Edward." Alice laughed as she took another swig of her drink. Her absurd comment was just the thing I needed and I felt myself smile. And when you smile, the whole world smiles with you. Cheesy but true.

Bella looked as if a weight had been lifted off her and she began smiling too. Alice jumped up and returned with drinks for all and we cranked on some tunes. It didn't take any time at all for me to realize that Alice had spiked the drinks. The problem was by the time I noticed, I was too inebriated to care.

I'm too manly to admit what happened next, but let's just say there was dancing. No one reenacted the scene from Risky Business, and no one had a pair of tighty whities around to do said dance.

When the clock struck midnight, I pulled Bella over to me.

"Happy New Year, sis," I said, planting a sloppy yet chaste kiss on her lips. It was innocent and yet it wasn't something I would have done without alcohol in my system.

When Alice and Jasper stopped sucking face, she gave me a peck on the cheek while he did the same with Bella. They left shortly after that, claiming to be tired. What they were was tired of not having sex. I could relate.

I followed behind Bella up to her room; she tried to push me out but I laughed and pinned her to the bed with my dead body weight. I kissed her lips, giving the New Years kiss that I had wanted to. I fully intended on making it back to my own bed, but when her little arm slid over mine, I fell fast asleep.

* * *

"Hey," a loud voice reverberated through the room. I groaned as my head pounded. I looked up and saw that my arm was sprawled across Bella's back. I was lying on my back and she on her front and the voice came from the door.

I shot up out of bed, causing visions of sugar plum fairies to kick me in the head. Bella made a weird noise out of her throat that kind of sounded like that freaky kid in The Grudge.

I looked to the door and saw Charlie standing there with a stern look on his face.

"Had a little too much to drink last night?" He asked cracking a small smile. I knew then he was just giving us shit about drinking.

"Yeah, something like that," I replied, running my hand through my hair. He shook his head and walked away.

If I had known being drunk was an acceptable method of being in Bella's bed, I might have picked up the bottle much earlier.


	19. Chapter 18

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

Chapter 18

By the time we had arrived back at our apartment, Edward and I were too tired to do much other than cuddle. We were both okay with that though because just being able to snuggle and hold each other in our own bed was like heaven.

"Let's never leave this bed again," Edward said, yawning as we fought to stay awake in each other's company a little while longer.

"Sounds good to me," I replied allowing my hand to slip over his side and run up his back.

I remember exchanging loving words just before drifting off to sleep.

I awoke to Edward nuzzling my neck. Just a simple touch by something as small as his nose caused my body to sing. When he started kissing me, my body reacted, but the reminder of the nasty-ass plane food I ate the day before caused me to recoil from his affection.

I placed my hand over my mouth before saying, "I'm going to brush my teeth and then I think we should continue this in the shower."

Edward laughed and then covered his own mouth, obviously catching a whiff of yesterdays beef surprise. Yet another reason I hate the word surprise, nothing good comes from it.

Watching Edward in the mirror as we both brushed our teeth made me feel like I was seeing him for the first time in two weeks. I had trained myself carefully to think of him as my brother for the majority of the time at home that it was like I was on a vacation away from my lover. But now that we were reunited, I needed to be reunited.

I spit the toothpaste in my mouth out and turned on the shower. I peeled out of my clothes and saw Edward watching me from the corner of his eye. I got in the shower and grabbed my razor. I shaved my legs in less than a minute, hoping to have smooth legs by the time he got into the shower.

Seeing his glorious body after a two week drought was like finding the Atlantic Ocean in the Sahara desert, and man did I need a drink. I also thought that this might be a good place to try something new. I had gone down on Edward a few times but I had always gotten out of the way before he came. I figured that the best place to try this was in the shower when he was nice and clean and I had a minty fresh mouth to counteract the taste.

I took the soap and lathered up his body, spending extra time on his manly bits. There is nothing nastier than putting your mouth somewhere that's not clean. Once I was convinced that he met my squeaky clean standards, I slipped down on my knees and took him in my mouth.

His arm reached out and grabbed the side of the shower wall for balance. He made many fun noises that all seemed to begin or end with a swear word. I picked up my pace as my knees were starting to burn from kneeling on the hard tub.

"Bella, I'm going to cum," Edward said, giving me the warning he always did. I chose then to hum as to let him know I had heard him. That was apparently the right thing to do because Edward shot into me. The first stream was okay but the second and third hit the back of my throat, causing me to gag, which resulted in the semen sitting on my tongue.

"Holy shit that is gross," I said, spitting the remainder of his juice down the drain.

"Baby, you didn't have to do that," he said trying to hold back a laugh.

I tilted my head back and let the water run in my mouth; I swished it and then I spit it back out. After repeating this process for the fourth time, I deemed my mouth clean. I turned to face Edward and was actually kind of glad he wasn't offended.

"Was it really that gross?" He asked.

"Yes, yes it really was," I replied. "Did it at least feel better?"

"It feels just as good when you finish with your hand."

"Good, then I won't feel guilty for never doing that again."

"Don't ever feel guilty for not wanting to do anything sexual with me Bella. It's only fun if you like it too."

"I love you," I said, leaning up to kiss him.

He stopped me and held me still. "Not until you brush your teeth again. You didn't give that stuff a very glowing recommendation." It was my turn to laugh.

After drying off, and Edward repaying me for my morning shower kindness, we decided to head over and see Vicky and Riley. Vicky answered the door and invited us in.

"Hey guys, we missed you," she said, closing the door behind us. "Riley! Bella and Edward are here."

Riley entered out from the bedroom door and smiled when he saw us. "Hey guys, how was your break?"

"It was good," Edward replied begrudgingly but then perked up, "Bella's gift to me was great!"

"What did she get you?" Riley asked.

"A video camera," Edward responded.

Vicky started giggling and I turned beet red. Riley raised his eyebrows as if to ask what was up. Edward's face darted over to hers and immediately he knew that she knew.

"You knew?" He asked, shocked.

"Who do you think helped her pick out the underwear?" Vicky said and then started laughing again.

"Underwear? For wha…..oh. OH!" Riley said as he caught up.

"Yeah, it made quite an impression." Edward smirked at his own comment.

"So did you guys tell your parents that you are dating yet?" Vicky asked.

"No," I replied.

"Come on, what are they going to do about it now? It's not like you can get dorm rooms this late in the year."

"There is more to it than that. It's complicated. Our parents see our relationship as innocent and they wouldn't like it that we are seeing each other," I said, hoping that was enough.

"Vicky, just butt out. If they want to keep it a secret, let them. People know what's best for them." Riley's words made me happy; he was truly a great friend.

There was a small uncomfortable silence before Vicky jumped up off the couch and headed into the kitchen.

"Before I forget, there was some mail that came for you that ended up in our box. They screwed up your name Edward. Riley and I were laughing so hard."

I knew before she gave the envelope to Edward what it would say. He handled it with grace.

"Edward Swan, huh. Well I guess Bella does wear the pants in this relationship."

Vicky and Riley laughed, but I just breathed a sigh of relief that there was another slip that didn't out us.

* * *

The few days off before school started up again were great, but once we headed back to classes, we became busy again. Exams and papers took up a lot of our time but we always seemed to be able to make time for each other.

By the end of February, I was looking forward to reading week in March.

"What do you want to do with our time off?" I asked Edward. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow. Did I mention how delicious he looked like that? "Besides me, you perv."

"I don't know," he replied.

Little did we know, we were going to have plans, and they were going to change our lives dramatically.

**EPOV**

I grew up with Bella, so I had been around her while she was sick before. They say you never know how much you love someone until you see them sick. What I never realized was I had never tended to Bella when she was sick before.

I was surprised to see her home when I had come back from my class. She usually came in later than me on Wednesdays. Her tiny body was curled up on the couch and she was covered in a blanket and hugging a large plastic bowl. I tossed the unread mail on the table and went to her.

"Baby, are you okay?" I asked, coming around the couch to get a better look at her. Her pale face disappeared as she pulled the blanket up over her head.

"Go away, leave me alone." Her words were strong but her tone was weak.

"Is there anything I can get you?" I inquired.

"No, just don't look at me, leave me alone." I put my hand on her shoulder; well I think it was her shoulder as she was still holed up under the blanket. "Please, just don't touch me. I just want to be left alone," she begged pathetically.

I felt absolutely useless; all I wanted to do was help but she was pushing me away. I considered briefly if this was some sort of sneaky, girl trick, but Bella wasn't the type to play games, and if it made her feel better to be left alone while sick, I would give her that.

"Okay, Sweetpea. Just let me know if you need anything." I heard a muffled 'thank you' come from under the blanket and I excused myself to the kitchen to catch up on some of my reading.

About a half hour into the life cycles of some sort of disgusting bug, I saw the movement of Bella sprinting for the washroom. Knowing that she didn't want me looking at her while she was just lying there, I figured that she definitely didn't want me there if she was tossing her cookies. I did, however, fill her a glass of water and leave it outside the bathroom door.

When she emerged five minutes later she shot me a weak smile and then lay back down on the couch. Her hair was sticking up all over the place and her eyes were half closed, and I thought to myself, I must really love this woman to see her in such a state and still think she is the cutest thing alive.

I decided to make her soup, knowing that was something I had the ability to make. I fished out some saltine crackers and a glass of ginger ale then placed the spread before her on the coffee table.

"Are you feeling any better?" I asked her carefully.

"Yeah, a little. My stomach is really sore though," she replied.

I rubbed her back lightly as she ate her soup slowly. I think she tried to purr, but with her dry throat, it didn't come out the way she had intended. When she finished her meal, I took the dishes to the kitchen and washed them. I know all the ladies reading this are hot for me right now, but as you all know, I'm taken.

I returned to the couch and she nestled her head into my lap. I ran my fingers through her hair, but when I encountered the knots, I changed my tactic and just petted the top of her head.

"You shouldn't be here, I'm going to make you sick," she said weakly.

"I'll take my chances," I replied and continued stroking her until she fell asleep.

I was stuck as Bella's pillow for almost two hours as I hadn't really thought of my plan. If I had, I would have at least brought some of my recommended reading to the couch with me. Cause really, there is only so long you can watch someone sleep before it becomes boring.

When she finally woke, my left butt cheek was numb and pins and needles were shooting up my leg. I stood up and stretched as Bella sat up a little wobbly. She decided to go take a bath and then head off to bed. I enjoyed a couple games of Halo before joining her.

When I came to in the morning, my body was stiff and sore. Bella was already out of bed so I was hoping that meant she felt better. As I stood up from the bed, I was instantly aware that I had caught Bella's stomach flu. My legs took off nearly without me on their mission to get me to the toilet in time. Luckily I made it before I started heaving into the white porcelain.

"Edward?" Bella called from outside the bathroom door.

"Ughhhhh," I replied.

"Baby, are you sick?"

"Uuuuuh HUhhhhh." That is yes, by the way.

"Do you want me to bring you a glass of water?"

"Uuuuuuh HUhhhhh."

Bella returned a few minutes later with a glass of water. She sat down and rubbed my back as I groaned and sweated and was generally disgusting. She helped me back into bed and assured me that she was completely okay so I just had to wait it out. Less than twenty four hours, I thought. Bella asked if I wanted her to stay home and look after me. I really wanted to say yes, but I knew that she missed classes the day before and I didn't want her to get any more behind.

I spent the day between the bathroom floor and the bed. I got a few saltine crackers in me and some ginger ale but anything else I tried came right back up. By the time Bella got home from school, I felt so sorry for myself. When it comes to being sick, I'll admit it, guys really are wimps. I am sure it is one of the reasons that girls are made to have the babies.

Bella crawled into the bed with me and I looked up at her from underneath my lashes. The puppy dog eyes were making an appearance so that I could get some attention. Not that she would leave me be, she always knew exactly what I needed.

"Did you get the mail?" I asked, cuddled in her arms.

"Yeah, let me grab it, okay." I grunted my displeasure but then relinquished her from my arms.

We got a surprising amount of mail due to the fact that we lived so close to campus. Most of it was flyers and advertisements but it always amounted to a large handful.

"We still have the stuff from yesterday too," she said, handing me a stack.

We sat on the bed and flipped through our mail. It was a mundane thing to do but it made me feel closer to her, that this perfect love of ours was actually rooted in reality. The more real it felt, the better chance we had to keep it.

I tossed the food flyers quickly off the bed as the greasy offerings of the local establishments were turning my stomach. I was looking over our phone bill when I heard Bella's voice, quiet and panicked.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?" I said worry not helping my nauseous state.

"We have a problem."

"What?"

"Alice is coming."

"What do you mean Alice is coming?" I asked in horror.

"Here, read this," she said shoving the offending paper at me.

_Dear Edward and Bella,_

_Isn't it great to receive mail just like in the olden days? This is way more fun than e-mail. _ _Jasper is going to be super busy during the reading break so I thought I would come and visit you guys. I have an Aunt and Uncle in the area I haven't seen in a little while so I figured I could just come and see everyone._

_I can't wait to meet all your new friends and see your place. I have my tickets already and have enclosed the itinerary. _

_Give me a call when you receive this, cause I am jumping up and down just thinking about your surprised faces. _

_Love you both, _

_  
Alice._

I looked over at Bella and her face was white as a sheet. I looked back down at the paper. My stomach swirled and I ran to the washroom, narrowly missing my intended target. Somehow I didn't think that one was a result of the flu.


	20. Chapter 19

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

**A/N- I have put an entry in for the "Kill a Cullen" contest. Please stop by my profile and take a look. **

Chapter 19

**BPOV**

The days leading up to Alice's visit were the worst I could remember in my whole life. I failed a paper and botched a test because of the stress I was feeling. Edward and I were both on edge which made it hard to be around each other.

We literally had no idea what we were going to do. There was almost no way that she wouldn't find out unless we kept her locked away in our apartment, and believe me, we didn't throw that idea out very quickly. But even with keeping her captive, there was the chance that Riley or Victoria could come over. So we decided to do the only thing we could do, and that was to tell her. That was if and when we got caught. We would do our best to keep it from her while she was there, but if our hand was forced, the truth would come out. Yeah, now that I see it, it was a colossally bad idea.

Edward and I were sitting on the couch awaiting Alice's knock. We sat stiffly, neither of us wanting to acknowledge the huge clusterfuck our situation was about to become. Her Aunt and Uncle picked her up from the airport the previous night and she told us she was going to catch a cab to come see us first thing in the morning.

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

Okay, her knocks didn't sound like big, foreboding clangs, she rapped a cute little beat on the door, but they felt like an executioners knock to me.

Edward stood up from the couch and I immediately joined him. He looked at me nervously and then grabbed my face, smashing it to his. It felt like goodbye and I hated it. He then walked over to the door, put on his game face, and opened it.

"Edward!" Alice shrieked, jumping up and wrapping her legs around his waist. The force of her knocked him back a few steps. She then saw me and detached herself from Edward and flung her body at me. "Bella!"

Once she had her arms around me, I felt instantly guilty. She wasn't some bad guy coming to ruin our life, she was our friend and we both loved her very much. I knew right away that there was no way we were going to be able to keep the secret from her while she was here, but I couldn't find the nerve in me to tell her.

"How was your trip?" I asked, leading her to the couch and then sitting beside her. Edward joined us, choosing to rest opposite of us on the floor.

"Great…long. Why did you guys have to move so far away?" Edward's eyes met mine and we shared a moment. We knew exactly why. "So my aunt and uncle want me to invite you guys over for dinner tonight. Then maybe we can go out or something."

"Sure, that sounds nice. We thought maybe you and Edward could go shopping in the morning and I'll meet up with you guys for lunch," I said.

"Sounds great. I'll give you the address before I leave tonight. It's not far from here. My uncle works on campus. I'm such an idiot, maybe you know him. Dr. Carlisle Cullen?"

The name sounded familiar but it didn't register until I watched all the blood leave Edward's face. It was his professor. His professor that had saw us kissing outside his classroom numerous times.

"He's one of my professors," Edward said meekly.

"Uh, oh. Why do you say it like that? Is he a jerk or something?" Alice asked nervously.

"No, no. He's my favorite teacher actually. It's just; I had no idea that he was related to you."

"Yeah, he's my mom's brother," Alice replied. "This is so exciting. I can't believe I am here with you guys."

"Alice, can you excuse us for a minute. I just need to talk to Edward for a second." Alice looked at me strangely. I couldn't blame her, it was a weird request.

Edward followed me into the bedroom.

"We have to tell her," I said.

"I know, but what if she is upset? What if she tells her uncle or our parents?" Edward replied.

"I don't know what else we can do. She is going to find out we are a couple when we show up at her uncle's place. He has seen us engaging in some sort of frottage outside of his classroom, almost daily."

"We aren't that bad," Edward defended. I raised my eyebrow at him. "Yeah, okay. Let's go do this."

We emerged from the bedroom to find Alice flipping through Edward's CD's on the entertainment stand.

"Are you guys going to tell me why you are all weird now?" She asked.

"Alice, there is something we need to tell you and we would really appreciate you keeping an open mind," I started.

"Okay," she said slowly.

"You see, when Edward and I found out he was adopted, well, we were kind of relieved."

"Why?" She asked, genuinely confused.

"Well, I've never really seen Edward as a brotherly figure."

"Well yeah, you guys were always more like friends than siblings, but I don't see why you would be relieved that he wasn't your brother. I mean it's not like you can't be friends with your brother."

"No, but you can't be your brother's girlfriend."

The room went deadly silent as Alice took in the information. She looked frantically back and forth between Edward and me, possibly trying to figure out if we were trying to punk her.

"Holy shit," Alice said quietly.

"You can't help who you fall in love with," Edward said, chiming in.

"Holy shit, you love each other? Like love, love each other?" Edward and I nodded our heads at her question. "So do you guys, like…do it?"

We all stood staring at each other. Alice's personal question struck my funny bone and I started laughing, which in turn started Alice laughing, and before long, Edward was joining us. When we all got it out of our system, the room became quiet again.

"We can't tell our parents," Edward said.

"No kidding," Alice mumbled.

"So, my uncle knows you as a couple then?" She asked.

"Yeah," Edward replied, "you didn't tell him we were brother and sister did you?"

"No, I just said my friends. Thank goodness for that, right? Are you guys happy?"

I looked over at Edward and he came to me and put his arm around me and we smiled at each other. Without looking away, he answered, "Unquestionably."

"It's kind of weird," she said, "but I guess it's not wrong. And I love you both so if you are happy, I am happy."

"Oh, thank you Alice," I said tears starting to flow. I ran up and wrapped my arms around her. I hadn't realized how much I was holding in until I was able to let it go.

We had told our first person the truth and she had accepted it. It gave me hope that we could have our life together without cutting out everyone we cared about.

"Wait, I have a question," Alice said suddenly.

"What's that?" Edward answered as I was still blubbering like a baby.

"How do you get around you both being Swans?"

"I use my middle name. Everyone here knows me as Edward Masen," he replied.

"So you guys knew before you left?" I nodded. "How long?"

"A while," Edward answered.

"Before your grad?" She asked Edward. He nodded.

"Before our grad?" She asked me. I nodded. "Did you two have sex in the tent at graduation!"

"Define sex," Edward said and I smacked him.

"No, we didn't have sex at graduation."

"Oh man, what a trip," Alice replied.

* * *

Alice stayed all day and then late into the night. We caught up on our lives. Alice felt bad that she had missed out on all the girl talk. I admitted to her that I was sad to have been left out of the conversations with her and Rosalie regarding sex because I was too scared to talk about it.

Alice asked questions but she didn't pry. I could see that she was trying to figure out how our situation would work long term but I was glad she didn't ask because I didn't know. I was only sure that it had to. Edward was my present and my future and I couldn't imagine it any other way.

When Alice said goodnight, Edward and I retired into our room. We changed in silence; the weight of what we had done that day came down on us.

"I love you," I said as I crawled into bed and snuggled into him.

"So much," he replied.

"We can do this," I said honestly.

"Yes, we can," he said softly before we drifted off to sleep.

**EPOV**

Alice was to show up bright and early in the morning. I had let Bella sleep in as the shopping trip was just for Alice and me. I showered quickly and looked at the beautiful woman in my bed. I had envisioned her so many times growing up, how she would look in the throes of passion, how she'd say my name all breathy and how she would look sleeping peacefully next to me. Nothing could have prepared me for the real thing.

Bella was like a giant ball of love. I could feel it radiating off her and I fed on it. It made me feel masculine and strong but it also made me feel safe. She didn't have a hurtful bone in her body and I knew I could trust her with my heart. Her love gave me strength to love her even more.

I placed a small kiss on her temple and headed out to wait for Alice. I ate a quick breakfast of toast and jam and was putting my dish in the sink when I heard her knock on the door.

"Hey," I said, opening up the door to her.

"Let's move, there is an outlet mall with twenty-three shoe stores waiting for us," she said excitedly. I can admit there was a thrill that ran through me at that thought.

"All right, lead the way," I said following her out the door.

* * *

"So I assume since I never heard, that Rose and Emmett came back from Vegas unhitched."

"Yeah, Jasper is the worst guesser when it comes to stuff like that. He thought Bella would be going wild and you were out here reining her back in. Boy was he off the chart. You are probably the one making her go wild!" I laughed at the absurdity of us talking about this.

"So what else is new?"

"Oh, get this. Kate is preggers. Guess she met some guy named Sam down at the reservation and got knocked up last year. The guy totally left her in the lurch and she is working at the diner and seven months along."

"That's kind of sad," I said. While I had no love lost for Kate, I certainly didn't wish bad things upon her.

"Oh and the talk around town is Lauren has an STD. Almost the entire male population under thirty was at the free clinic getting checked out." That made me laugh.

"Guess I really did dodge a bullet."

* * *

By the lunchtime, Alice and I had bought six pairs of shoes between the two of us. You don't need to know anymore than that.

Bella met us at a little Mexican restaurant and we visited over Coronas and nachos. Well, Alice had a margarita, but Bella and I stuck to beers. We had found this place early on; it was listed on a student run website of places that didn't card.

"Oh, I am so full," Bella said, leaning back and rubbing her stomach. It was times like this that I realized how lucky I was; my girlfriend wasn't afraid of an extra calorie here or there. Although maybe a non-eater would have been the way to go as I would have gotten more nachos. But it was too late; I was head over heels for my beautiful brunette.

"I think I better take Bella here home for a rest before dinner tonight," I said winking at Alice.

"Yes, please," Bella groaned.

"Okay, that's cool. I have to pick up at few things for my aunt for dinner. I will see you guys there later then," Alice replied, tossing her money on the table and then heading out.

I took out my wallet and paid our portion of the bill and then escorted my girl to the bus stop. It didn't take us long to get home, but carrying my shopping was a little tricky.

"What do you think we should wear tonight?" Bella asked as we entered our apartment.

"I don't know, I am more concerned with what we shouldn't be wearing right now and that is clothes."

She giggled and swatted at me playfully. I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to me, lifting her slightly off the ground. A little naughtiness and a shower later, Bella and I were ready to head over to the Cullen's place. And don't complain to me about not telling you all about it. If I were to go into detail about every time Bella and I had had sex, this story would be epic huge. And now I have to resist the urge not to make an 'epic huge' joke about my manhood.

I had really enjoyed chatting with my professor during his office hours and I was looking forward to more interaction with him. Carlisle was an incredibly intelligent man who I generally enjoyed.

I called for a cab and then we headed downstairs to catch it. When the cab pulled up in front of our destination, I was shocked. I knew that college professors probably made decent money, but this was in the realm of Richie Rich.

The tall, Victorian style home had a porch on both the lower and upper levels that wrapped around the side of the house. The front door was grand looking and appeared to be very heavy. There were many windows garnishing every surface that I could see. I briefly wondered what it would have been like if I had been adopted by people like this, but then guiltily shook off that feeling. I wouldn't change having Bella in my life for any amount of money.

I took Bella's hand in mine as we ascended the three steps up to the front door. She pressed the doorbell and the door was opened a moment later by a woman who I recognized as Carlisle's wife from the picture on his desk.

"Hello, you must be Bella and Edward," she said as she held the door open for us. She was smiling at Bella, but when she turned to me, it faltered. I wondered if I had offended her somehow, but the friendliness came right back. "Come in."

"Thank you, you have a very lovely home, Mrs. Cullen," I said.

She cocked her head to the side as if studying what I had said and then answered, "Thank you, that is very kind."

We followed her into the giant home to find Carlisle and Alice sitting in a large living room.

"Edward, how are you?" Carlisle asked.

"Fine sir, this is my girlfriend, Bella," I said, formally introducing them for the first time.

"Nice to meet you Bella," Carlisle replied.

"You too, Edward has told me a lot about you," Bella commented.

"All good I hope," he chuckled.

"Of course."

"Oh, Edward has never said a bad word about anyone," Alice piped in, "Chief Swan would have kicked his ass."

I shot Alice a look, we had been there only a few minutes and she had already alluded to our family. Her eyes widened as she caught her mistake.

"Chief Swan? Were you in trouble with the law, son?" Carlisle asked.

"No, he's Bella's dad," Alice said, trying to get herself out of trouble.

"Swan?" Mrs. Cullen said so quietly I almost didn't hear her.

"Yes, ma'am."

"That's an uncommon name," she continued. "So did you two grow up together?"

Alice choked a little and then tried to hide it under a cough.

"Yes, ma'am," I answered.

"Excuse me, I need to tend to something in the kitchen," she said abruptly and then left the room.

Carlisle's eyes followed her with concern but he let her leave.

Dinner was delicious. Bella was a decent cook but our limited budget did not render us able to have four course meals. Mrs. Cullen cooked comfort food with class. All through dinner, Mrs. Cullen kept a focused eye on me. She had made me so nervous that I spilled my drink.

Bella had laughed at me and said, "Better you than me."

After a long day, we decided instead of going out we would just kick back and play some cards. Mr. and Mrs. Cullen had excused themselves, and although I try to stay focused on our game, I couldn't quite ignore the rushed voices I heard coming from the room above us. Nothing came through intelligible, but I could tell the tone and it seemed panicked.

After three games, Bella and I decided to call it a night.

"You'll have to thank your aunt and uncle again for the dinner," Bella said as we got up to leave, "and tell her I want that pie recipe."

"I'll let her know, but Aunt Esme is real secretive about her pie."

**E/N- This will likely be the last chapter posted before Christmas, so I hope you will all have a good one. And in the season of giving, please leave a review.**


	21. Chapter 20

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

Chapter 20

**BPOV**

Alice and I decided to let Edward sleep in the next morning and meet for breakfast. Her petite self was already waiting in a booth by the time I got there. I headed over to her and took a seat.

We traded small conversation until we placed our order, and then I jumped in.

"So Edward felt like your aunt didn't like him or something."

"No, I don't think that was it. I don't know what has gotten into her, she was really quiet this morning and Uncle Carlisle was hovering."

"Weird," I said.

"She asked a lot of questions about both of you; it was hard not to blow your cover. I really don't know what you tell everyone here. I just told her that you both had a dad on the police force and you grew up together, I hope that is okay?"

"That's great Alice, I'm sorry you had to lie for us."

"Don't worry about it. So anyway, I want you to dish, girl. You have sat and listened to me dish about Jasper so many times, it's your turn."

A big smile came across my face. "What do you want to know?"

"Okay, the first thing I don't understand is, weren't you dating some guy named Jake?"

"That was a cover. Fake dates so that we could go out together," I replied.

"You are one clever girl, Bella Swan. So it wasn't like weird at all, kissing your brother?"

"Edward had always been my best friend first. And brother or not, it would be hard to miss the hotness, when I found out we weren't actually related, it just felt natural," I said, fudging the timeline. There was no need to tell her that I kissed him and fell for him before I knew the truth. She was accepting but I doubt she would have been _that_ accepting.

"So did you guys sneak into each other's rooms at night?"

"No, we were too worried to get caught. We fooled around a little while we still lived at home but it wasn't until we were here that we had a chance to really explore our physical relationship." I blushed giving Alice these details, but it felt good to share nonetheless.

Alice asked me all the details, and while I could see some of the answers made her squirm, she was doing her best to be open to it. She was truly one of the best friends a girl could have.

We ate our breakfast and then went outside to catch the bus back to the apartment. I caught sight of the bus arriving on the other side of the street and darted across to catch it. The last thing I remember was a blue sedan connecting with the left side of my body, Alice's scream, and then blackness.

EPOV

I woke up without Bella at my side and found myself frowning. I had slept alone for the majority of eighteen years and then I find myself unable to be comfortable without her by my side. I hadn't slept well; strange dreams of Alice's relatives were haunting me, specifically her aunt. I couldn't remember the exact dream; just a feeling and it left me affected.

I pulled myself out of bed and scratched my balls openly; I guess that was one benefit of waking up alone. I peed, showered, shaved, and got dressed in no time flat. I knew Alice would talk Bella's ear off so I would have at least another hour before they got back. I decided to take this time to go to the campus library and grab a book I had forgotten to pick up.

The brisk air on the ten minute walk to campus cleared my head and shook me out of my morning slump. Life was good, I had a beautiful girlfriend and now a friend who accepted us the way we were. Riley and Vicky were great, but they didn't know about our past. It was likely something we would keep them from indefinitely.

I arrived on campus and the place was pretty sparse, most of the students electing to get out of town for the break. On my way to the library, I was surprised to run into Carlisle.

"Oh, hi Edward," he said, seeming uncomfortable seeing me. The strange feeling from the dream came back. What had I done to offend these people?

"Hello, sir," I replied.

"Are you here alone?" He asked, looking around at the empty hallway.

I raised my eyebrows at his unusual question but answered, "Yes."

"Oh good, I actually wanted to speak with you. Do you have a moment?"

"Sure," I said following him back towards his office.

He gestured for me to have a seat and I took it. I couldn't figure out why he would want to talk to me. Maybe my paper hadn't gone as well as I had thought.

"My wife and I wanted to talk to you about something…"

"Okay," I said, unsure.

"We would like to have you over for dinner tonight, just you, if that is okay."

"Uhm, this is kind of weird," I said honestly. I didn't think they would kidnap me and keep me tied up in the basement for their kinky pleasure, but that was how I envisioned those situations starting.

"Sorry Edward, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just think we might have some information that you would be interested in."

"Could you give me a hint?" I inquired; curiosity may have killed the cat but I had to know.

"I promised my wife that I would let her talk to you."

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I looked up apologetically before pulling it out and answering it.

"Hello."

"Edward! It's Alice. Bella's been hit by a car," a panicked Alice screeched through the phone.

"What? Where is she? Is she all right?" I rattled off.

"We are on the way to the hospital but she is unconscious. They are taking her to Northwestern."

"Okay, I am on my way."

"Is there something wrong?" Carlisle asked as I closed my flip phone.

"Bella's been hit by a car, I need to go."

"Here, I will drive you," he said.

We rushed out to his car and jumped in. I was grateful that he seemed to be driving faster than the speed limit. I needed to get to Bella; she was my life and the thought of something happening to her would end me.

We pulled up to the hospital and I was surprised when Carlisle followed me in. I immediately found Alice in the waiting room. She ran up and wrapped her arms around me.

"They won't let me in, they say only family can go in," she said.

Not thinking, I grabbed the first nurse I saw and said, "Isabella Swan's room please, I am her brother."

Alice looked at me with wide eyes and I turned to see Carlisle standing there with a confused look. I could see it in his face that he knew I wasn't lying. It was something I would deal with later as Bella was my first priority at the moment.

The nurse checked my ID and then led me down the hall to a small room. Bella was lying in the hospital bed with her eyes closed. There were tubes coming out of her nose and her arm was in a cast.

"Is she going to be okay?" I asked nervously.

"She'll be fine," replied the nurse, "she'll just be sore for a few days. The doctor said he thinks he will release her tonight."

"Thank God," I breathed out.

I pulled up the lone chair in the room and placed it beside her bed. I sat down and took her good hand in mine. It was then the sobs came out. My beautiful girl was broken and I couldn't do anything to fix it. I placed my forehead down on top of our hands as the situation flooded over me.

"Shhhhh," I heard her say and my head shot up. "Don't cry, baby. I'm okay."

"Bella, I was so worried. I love you so much Sweetpea."

"Is Alice here?" She asked.

"Yeah, she and Carlisle are out in the waiting room."

"You should go tell them to go home, I'll be fine."

"I'll go and give them an update but I will be right back," I promised.

"Okay," she replied.

I found Alice sitting with her knees pulled up to her chest. She looked as white as a ghost. I hadn't thought about it until now, but she had seen it. Alice had watched Bella get hit by a car. The thought made me shiver.

"Hey Alice," I said sitting next to her, "she is going to be okay. She has a broken arm and will be pretty sore for the next few days but she'll be all right."

She let out a sigh of relief. "Don't hate me, but I called your parents."

"Why would I hate you for that?"

"Cause they are coming," she stated.

"Oh," I replied, not knowing what to do with that information. "When?"

"They are catching a flight first thing in the morning; they will be here by noon."

"Shit, okay. Did Carlisle take off?"

"No, he went to call my aunt."

"Okay, I am going to go tell Bella and then I have to run back to the apartment and prepare. Please try and keep Carlisle away while my parents are here. My slip today could really screw us."

"Sure, I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, thanks Alice."

I went back to Bella's room to explain the trouble that we were in.

**BPOV**

When Edward explained that our parents were coming because of my accident, my heart rate shot up, causing the nurse to come in and administer more morphine. Before I became completely incoherent, I told Edward to go home and fix up the spare room like it was mine.

He would have a lot of work to do; hiding couple-type pictures of us and make the spare room look lived in. All I wanted to do was go home and curl up into Edward's arms, and the thought of not having that made me want to weep.

Around eight pm they let me go home. Edward had returned about a half hour before that and had brought me some clean clothes. The ones I was wearing were cut off and it may have been the morphine, but I was lamenting the loss of my six year old jeans.

Arriving back at the apartment was surreal. It wasn't the place I had been living in for the past several months, it was foreign. The loving pictures of us were gone. He had taken down the love note off the fridge that I had put up there for him a week ago. We had done all that when Alice had arrived; it was our bedroom that was the most upsetting. Edward had moved his clothing and personal effects into the spare room. The sight of his slippers gone from the side of the bed was making me feel weepy again.

"Do you need help changing?" Edward asked as I sat down on the bed, exhausted.

"Yeah, and I could use a sponge bath too," I said, only half joking.

Instead of laughing, he led me into the bathroom, flipped the seat down, and sat me on the toilet. He helped me out of my sweater and then pulled off my socks. I lifted my hips so he could slide down my pants and underwear.

He filled the sink with warm water and grabbed a facecloth. He took his time washing my body, drying as he went and placing a towel around me to keep warm the parts he wasn't washing. I felt extremely tired and I laid my head on his shoulder as he washed my legs.

When he was finished, he picked me up and carried me back into the bedroom. He selected a pair of flannel pajama pants and t-shirt for me to sleep in. He took great care in dressing me before helping me lay down in the bed.

"Do you need a drink or anything?" He asked.

"No, I just need you beside me. We have no idea how long mom and dad are going to stay so I don't know when the next time I will have you with me is."

His eyes mirrored the sadness I was feeling. I was past the point of wanting my mommy to come take care of me when I was sick. I wanted my boyfriend, and it was getting taken from me and I was mad. I wanted to tell them so badly.

"Let's tell them Edward," I said coming in and out of slumber.

"That's the morphine talking Bella; we will talk about it later."

It was near noon when I woke up the next morning. Edward was gone from my side and I assumed he had left to go pick up our parents from the airport.

I hobbled out of bed, feeling like I had been hit by a car and then snorted a little at the fact that I _had_ been hit by a car. My legs, arms, and back felt like they had all been through the worst workout of their lives.

I found a little note on the table along with a muffin, stating that Edward had gone to the airport and there was coffee in the pot. I smiled at the little heart he drew at the bottom of the note and then scowled at the fact that I had to hide it. With the way that I was feeling, the morphine had clearly left my system and I was still thinking telling our parents might be the right thing.

If we were going to lose them either way, shouldn't it be with the truth? They might accept us just like Alice and then we wouldn't have to lose anything.

It took great effort to work the knots out of my hair, and I needed to wash it badly, but I would have to wait for help. I knew that they would be back soon, so I grabbed a blanket and curled up on the couch, waiting for my life to turn upside down yet again.

**E/N- Voting has opened for the Shimmer Award. My other story "The Affair" is up for the Essence Award. Please go vote! http://shimmerawards(dot)webs(dot)**


	22. Chapter 21

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

A/N- I want to welcome all my Twilighted readers over here. This story was pulled from Twilighted and will now only be posted here.

Chapter 21

**BPOV **

"Bella, sweetie, my baby, are you all right?" Renee's arms wrapped around me and my body screamed in agony as she squeezed. I flinched and saw Edward scowl from behind my mother.

"Mom, she's injured. Take it easy," he snapped.

Renee relaxed her grip and sat me back down on the couch. She doted and pampered me, and all I could think was how much I wanted to lie down in my bed and snuggle with Edward.

"Let me fix you some tea," she said heading to the kitchen.

"Here, let me help you with your bags," Edward said to Charlie, "I'll show you where you can sleep." He then led him into the spare bedroom and I heard him say something about sleeping on the couch. It made me angry.

When Renee came back with my tea, the boys had also returned. We sat uncomfortably while I sipped on my tea.

"Did you take your painkillers?" Edward asked. The hospital had prescribed me some medication to take every four hours and I had forgotten to take my last dose.

"No," I said sheepishly. Edward jumped up and retrieved them for me.

"It's so nice to see that you are taking care of your sister," Renee stated.

"Well what kind of person would I be to not, she was hit by a car," he replied, his tone clipped. I could tell he was upset with having them here as well.

Renee then made me retell the entire story. I mean how hard was it to grasp? I stepped out into moving traffic, it kept moving, and I went splat. Luckily the driver didn't sustain any injuries and I got off with a few bruised ribs and a broken arm.

Renee scoffed at our meager offerings in the food department and had Charlie take her out to 'acquire some proper nutrition'. When they left, they took my stress with them.

"Hold me," I squeaked out as their footsteps faded in the hallway.

Edward was over to me in a flash. "Are you in pain?" He asked.

"No," I curled into his arms, "I just need you."

"Me too Sweetpea, always."

I knew we didn't have long, but I enjoyed the feeling of our bodies touching. I didn't know how long they would stay but Renee was in full mothering mode and I knew that it wouldn't be just a couple of days. Charlie had a God-awful amount of vacation time saved up and I dreaded that he might start cashing it out now.

Alice called when they were out, checking in on me. I told her that I was doing well, considering. She said that she was out with her cousin today but would try and stop by after dinner just to say hi. She was taking Tanya to a matinee, some teeny bopper flick staring Zac Efron. I had never been so happy to have been hit by a car.

Renee cooked a large dinner that night, and I have to say that I enjoyed it immensely. Chicken with roasted potatoes and steamed vegetables, heck, she even provided a French loaf. I ate until I was overstuffed.

I offered to help with the dishes but both Renee and Edward wouldn't hear of it and banished me to the couch. Charlie was happy to keep me company.

"Are you happy here, kid?" He asked as we settled in on the couch.

"I really am," I said honestly.

"You seem to be really happy, getting run over notwithstanding. I noticed it even at Christmas. Both of you kids seem to be content." Charlie was a lot more astute than I gave him credit for. I decided to test the waters a little.

"Yeah, Edward and I have become really close. I don't know what I would do without him."

"That's great Bells; it makes me happy that my family sticks together."

A knock on the door alerted me to Alice's arrival. Edward popped out of the kitchen and let her in.

"Hey everyone," Alice sang as she entered. "This is my cousin, Tanya."

She left the young girl standing at the door as she came over and gingerly placed herself on my other side.

"Hey, I'm Edward," I heard him introduce himself.

"Hey," she replied.

"We don't have much of anything fun here, but you can surf the internet on my computer for a while if you like," he offered.

"Sure," she said. She was a typical pre-teen, with her one word answers and clipped tone. But she wasn't rude, just shy and probably bored.

Edward set her up on his laptop while Alice chatted with my parents. I was happy to have a break in the conversation. I was beginning to fade fast and I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes and sleep.

When Edward returned from Tanya, he could tell how I was feeling with a glance.

"You look tired Bella, maybe you should go to bed," he stated.

"Yeah, I think I might," I replied yawning. "Sorry Alice, I know you just got here."

"No, no, I just wanted to check up on you. I am heading home tomorrow and I wanted to say goodbye."

"You're leaving already?" I whined.

"Yeah, let me walk you to your room."

She pulled me up off the couch and helped me wobble into the bedroom. I sat down on the bed as she closed the door.

"I'm going to miss you," I said.

"Me too, Bella. I want you to know that I won't tell Jasper for now. This is your news to tell whoever you want, okay?"

"Thanks, Alice."

"I know it's hard to believe, but I think your parents will understand."

"At this point I don't even care; I just want to stop lying."

"I know, but you will care. If you do tell them, give them time. Okay?"

"Okay," I sighed. "Give me a hug." She came over and encased me with her small frame.

I grabbed my pajamas as she left the room. I crawled into bed and pulled the dark purple covers over me. The bed felt empty as I stared at the ceiling, unable to sleep.

I tossed and turned, which was not helping my poor, sore muscles. I needed Edward, and knowing that he was sleeping in the next room on the couch was torture. When I finally succumbed to sleep, I was sent into a nightmare.

_Edward and I walked down the street hand in hand. Suddenly, the sky turned dark and he pulled me into an alley. _

"_Bella, this is too hard. I can't do this anymore." _

"_You don't want me?"_

"_No."_

_He vanished before my very eyes and I sobbed as I knelt on the cold concrete. My body hurt from the emotion but I couldn't stop. _

"_Bella," I heard his voice. Did he come back? Can he still want me? _

"_Bella…_Bella wake up." I opened my eyes to see Edward staring down at me.

I slowly sat up and rubbed my eyes to find that there were tears gathered there.

"Are you okay? You were crying in your sleep," he said concern lacing his tone.

"You left me," I said, feeling hurt even though I knew it wasn't true.

"Never Bella. You are my life." He leaned in to kiss me but I held back briefly.

"What about…?"

"Sleeping," he replied softly before connecting his lips with mine. The kiss was light but sweet and it made me feel better instantly.

"Edward," I said pulling back from the kiss, "I think we should tell them."

"I don't know," he said.

"If we don't, we will have to cut them out of our lives. We can't lie to them forever, at least this way we have a chance of staying a family."

"Okay, but not right now. You are hurt and on painkillers Bella."

"Someday I am not going to be on drugs, Edward Swan, and you are going to lose that argument."

"We'll see," he replied. I dropped the subject because I only had three days of pills and I was sure that our parents would still be around after that. Then he would see that I was serious. I wanted to chance it. I wanted it all.

**EPOV**

All of Bella's talk about telling our parents had me frightened. I wanted to have the same optimism that she did about it but I think it was the drugs talking. I slept, but not well, that night on the couch. The thought of Bella having dreams about me leaving her while I was in the next room was enough to make me sick. I never wanted her to doubt me. We were risking everything for each other. If she saw reason that I might not find her worth it, then I worried that she was projecting her own feelings. What if Bella didn't think I was worth it? But she wanted to tell our parents and that cemented it. Telling our parents was almost like a wedding ceremony for us. There would be no point in telling them, if we weren't planning on forever.

I woke early and made coffee. The thought of another day as Bella's brother was daunting. Around nine, Charlie and Renee got up and joined me in the kitchen. They sat down and we drank our coffee in silence. I ran my hand through my hair, trying not to be annoyed at their presence. They were my parents and I loved them, but I really needed my space.

Shortly after I finished my coffee, there was a knock on the door. I answered the door to find Riley on the other side.

"Hey man," he said, "I didn't wake you did I?"

"No, I've been up for a while," I replied truthfully.

"We haven't seen you guys in a few days so we thought we would invite you over tonight."

"Oh well, I feel like a shitty friend for not telling you, but Bella was in an accident. She is okay but she's pretty banged up."

"What happened to her?" Concern laced his tone.

"She was hit by a car," I answered.

"Edward sweetie, where do you keep your frying pans, I want to make some eggs," Renee said, walking by the door.

"Is that Bella's mom?" Riley asked, confused. I internally cursed; I did not want to deal with that conversation now.

"Yeah," I replied.

"You weren't kidding when you said your families were close."

"Listen, I should go, but maybe we can catch up in a few days."

"Sure, just come and knock," he said, "and give Bella a hug for me."

I closed the door and turned to find Renee right in my face. "So who was that boy?" She asked.

"That is our neighbor, Riley," I stated.

"And he came to check up on Bella? He is a nice looking boy," she said smiling.

"Yeah, he's a good guy and very in love with his girlfriend," I snapped unnecessarily hard. It was bad enough that she flew all this way to take care of Bella, which I felt was my job, but I would be damned if she was going to try and set her up while she was here as well.

"Oh well, I'm sure there are other nice boys around."

I fought the eye roll and headed into the living room area. I had just sat down when I heard Bella's voice calling for me from the bedroom. I went to stand up but Renee was there in a flash.

"I'll go," she sang. I seriously considered matricide.

I could hear Bella's voice through the wall, and even though I didn't know what she was saying, her tone said it all. She was as fed up as I was. A few moments later, Renee emerged.

"Edward, Bella would like to speak with you." I suppressed my smile and headed over to the bedroom.

Bella was sitting on our bed with her head resting between her knees. I sat down beside her and rubbed her back lightly.

"I'm losing my mind and they have only been here a day," she said.

"I know, me too," I acknowledged.

"Please Edward, let's tell them." She lifted her head and her tired eyes met mine. I knew her exhaustion stemmed from more than lack of sleep.

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure of you, and I don't want to hide it anymore." Unsure, I leaned in and touched my lips to hers.

Renee's voice called out, "Breakfast is ready."

Groaning, I pulled back from Bella. "Okay," I said simply.

I lead Bella out to the kitchen. Renee had set out quite a spread and Bella looked ravenously at it. I was surprised that she would be able to eat after making the decision to tell them but I couldn't fault her enjoying some home cooking.

After breakfast, I helped with the dishes. The small cues that went on between Bella and I told me that we would share our news once we were done this task. Bella threw the dishtowel onto the oven door and herded Renee out to the couch.

"Mom, dad, there is something Edward and I would like to tell you."

"What is it honey?" Renee asked excitedly. I didn't know what she was expecting but I was sure she was going to be disappointed.

"When we found out that Edward was adopted, something changed between us. Living here together has solidified it and we want you to know that we are seeing each other….Romantically." It seemed like such a big build up for a couple of sentences but the weight of them hung in the air.

Charlie's face stayed neutral, you could almost see the hamsters running the wheels, trying to figure it out. Renee's face transformed into the nightmare we had tried to avoid. Her lips pulled up into a sneer as she turned her head away from us.

"Don't be ridiculous," she spat, "you are brother and sister."

"But we're not. We don't share the same blood and we don't feel that way," I defended.

"How dare you! Come on Bella, I am not leaving you in the house with this monster. I can't believe I took you into my home and this is how you repay me. By molesting your sister!"

"Careful Renee, let's not say things about our son that you can't take back," Charlie stated.

"Of course you would defend him, he's your boy. The one you always wanted. Does his behavior make you proud Charlie?"

"I think we should go now. You need to calm down," he said to Renee. "Edward, please call us a cab. We will discuss this later, when we all have had time to process it."

I nodded and made my way to the phone. I dialed and tried to tune out the yelling in the background. Renee was scolding Bella and I could hear her crying. I had never been so ashamed of my mother in my life.

"Get my bags Charlie; I don't want to spend another minute in this den of sin. We will wait for the cab downstairs." She walked over to the door and turned back around. "You aren't the boy I raised. You are not my son."

In just a moment, they were gone. Bella's arms wrapped around me and I realized that I was sobbing.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. You were right. We never should have told them," she cried.

"No, no. It's much easier to leave behind unloving parents than devoted ones."

* * *

Three weeks passed and we hadn't been able to get our parents to take our phone calls. We thought maybe after they had some time to mellow out that they would come to accept us.

I was sitting at our table working on a paper when the phone rang. I picked it up and was surprised by the voice on the other end of the phone.

"Hello, son," he said.

"I'm surprised that you are still calling me that," I replied harshly.

"Your mother is mad, she feels betrayed. I just want you to know that I don't necessarily agree with her. I want you kids to be happy, and even though the idea of all of this feels weird, I love you and want what's best."

"This is what's best."

"Okay," he said simply.

"Okay?"

"Yes Edward. You two are my children. I am not sure how your mother can just throw that away but I can't."

"Thanks dad."

"Listen, I have to go. Your mother will be home soon and I don't want to have this fight again."

"It's all right. Dad….I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too, son. Make sure you tell Bella I said so."

"I will," I chuckled.

"Bye."

"Bye."


	23. Chapter 22

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

**A/N- This is a little dark, and hopefully sexy. You have been warned. **

Chapter 22

**BPOV**

The guilt I felt over telling our parents was monumental. I had taken the only family Edward had ever known and destroyed it. Charlie called every couple of weeks but he never talked long. He and Renee were fighting a lot. Edward tried to stay upbeat and told me it didn't matter, but I could see the hurt in his eyes. I didn't tell Edward that Renee had been calling me. She was desperately trying to get me away from Edward, telling me I was suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. I tried to tell her that I wasn't kidnapped but she seemed to think he was corrupting me. If she only knew the devious thoughts I had about him, she would have known it was mutual.

It had been three months since our parents had visited, and with finals coming, Edward and I had been distant. I still loved him with all my heart and soul and I knew that he returned the sentiment. The problem was that our time was limited between classes and studying, and when we did share a few moments, I felt the shame creep in; the shame of pushing him into telling our parents.

I watched him sit at the table as I stirred some sugar into my tea. Shoulders slumped and his hands clutching tightly to his hair, he looked frustrated and yet beautiful. He looked up at me and I could see the longing in his eyes. I'm sure mine mirrored his; all I wanted was to be back to the way we were.

"Come here," he said holding his arm out for me. I walked over and sat in his lap. He held me to him, comforting me for my own mistakes. I needed more than anything to try and let everything just go.

"Is Carlisle still trying to get you over for dinner?" I asked.

Edward's professor slash Alice's Uncle had been calling once a week trying to have Edward over for dinner. They wanted him to come alone, but when he explained that he was taking care of me after my accident, they said to bring me along. We had declined so far as there was just too much we were dealing with and we wanted some time to ourselves. That hadn't been working as well as I had hoped.

It had taken six weeks for my cast to come off and two more after that for Edward to touch me again. I was starting to feel like a nun. We had only been intimate a few times since then and it had always felt awkward. I hated that I felt like I let my best friend down. I missed just talking to him and goofing around.

"Yeah, I told him maybe after exams were over," Edward said noncommittally.

We sat in silence for a few more minutes. Edward was reading his book while I stared at the hairs that came down over his ears.

"Can we go do something fun?" I asked. Edward looked up, a little shocked. It had been a while since we had gone out.

"Yeah." He smiled and stood up, bringing my body with his. The light in his eyes told me how selfish I had been. My guilt had been denying him his happiness. I told myself 'no more.'

"Come on, I know just the place."

There was somewhere I had wanted to go since we had moved to Chicago. It was just what we needed to bring some fun back into our lives. If our parents were going to shun us, then that was their problem, not ours.

Edward went to change quickly before we left as he was dressed in his ratty sweats and a holey t-shirt. I pulled up a map on the internet and jotted down the directions. Edward and I had finally gotten around to selling our vehicles back home and we had bought a slightly used car. We still used the public transit most days but it was a bit of a drive to where we were going so it was better to take the car.

"Where are we going?" he asked as he came out of the bedroom.

"No, way. It's a surprise," I said happy to find myself so excited.

"Mmm, I like surprises," Edward said pulling my back to his chest and then running his nose along my neck. The action made me want to forget about going out but I knew he wouldn't let me at this point.

We loaded into the car and I took off driving. Awkwardly checking the map while trying to keep it hidden from Edward was tricky. When we started getting close to our destination, the signs were all over the place, and Edward was smiling.

I pulled into the massive parking area and we headed towards the main gate. If Six Flags couldn't cure our unhappiness, I didn't know what would.

We spent the afternoon riding rollercoaster after rollercoaster. Edward's hand in mine felt right and I scolded myself for not finding comfort in it earlier. We could only be everything to each other if we let ourselves be.

I pulled him out of the crowd and into a quieter area. I stood and looked up at him, studying the way the sun shone on his skin. If I was blind to any flaw, I prayed never to see it because he was as stunning a man as you would ever find.

"I've missed you," I said, feeling the tug at my heart.

"I know, I'm sorry," he replied.

"What are you sorry for?" I asked, confused.

"I never should have agreed to tell Renee and Charlie. I knew you were on painkillers and…"

"Wait Edward, no, I wanted to tell them."

"But you regret it." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"Yes and no. I regret what it has done to you, how it has hurt you. But living without knowing would have eaten at us."

"Is that why you've pulled away from me? Because you think I'm hurting?"

"I can see that you are."

"I'm hurting because I feel like you are going to leave me; that you think that this isn't worth it. Nothing else matters to me but you, Bella."

"I love you so much Edward, I want to give you everything, but I feel like I took your family away."

"You didn't, Bella. Renee did." The truth hung in the air. It wasn't either of our faults. We didn't choose to fall in love with each other, it was fate. Renee chose to act the way she did, it was something she would have to live with.

"Can we go home?" I asked. I needed him, I needed our connection.

Edward took my hand and led me through the crowd. When it became clear that I couldn't keep up to him, he threw me on his back and piggybacked me the way out. I let him drive home as I was feeling emotional and not up to driving; my body literally shaking in anticipation of our connection returning. It had never left, but we had been denying it, and it was determined to come out.

The moment we stepped into the apartment, Edward turned into a different man. Gone was the gentle boy I had grown up with, and before me stood a fierce guardian come to take what was his. My knees weakened at the thought.

He pressed my body up against the apartment door, the look in his eyes almost frightening. His lips met mine with ferocious determination.

"Never fucking do that to me again, Bella. I thought I was losing you."

"Never…ahhh," I breathed as he bit down on my neck.

He thrust his hips against mine, causing the door to vibrate behind me. His hands ran up my body, cupping me roughly.

"Shit, Bella, you're everything. I thought I lost everything." I could hear the crack in his voice.

"I'm right here baby, I'm all yours," I said with all my heart.

He reached around and grabbed my thighs, pulling me up to straddle his body. He then carried me into our room and placed me down on the bed.

"I need you so bad," he cried, his jaw tight.

I clawed at my own clothes, trying to take them off faster. Offering myself to him, showing him I felt the same. He was my everything and I wanted him to have all of me.

I sat there naked on the bed as he breathed heavily, just looking at my body.

"You are so fucking beautiful," he said, his voice loosening up.

I rose up on my knees and pulled his body close to mine. He stood by the bed fully dressed, holding my naked body. I could feel him shaking and I knew what he needed. I pulled his face down so that he was looking in my eyes.

"I love you," I said and then kissed him.

I stood up off the bed and went to the closet. I returned with one of Edward's ties. I handed it out to him and presented my wrists to him. I was going to give all of myself to him and let him take how he wanted. He knew immediately what I was offering and love poured out of his eyes.

He bound my wrists and then laid me down, tying me to the headboard. I lay before him naked and helpless and had never felt more powerful in my life. Edward kissed my body with reverence and then with passion. By the time he plunged himself into me, I was dizzy with desire.

Our bodies moved together by his command and my arms flexing above my head only made it more exciting. I crashed over the edge and Edward followed me soon after. He rolled off me and untied my wrists. He rubbed my arms, alleviating the tension that built up.

"Thank you," he said weakly, ashamed for taking what was offered.

"Don't thank me, Edward; I am yours to take just as you are mine. Would you have denied me what I needed?"

"Never," he replied.

I kissed his lips and stayed snuggled in his arms as we both drifted off to sleep.

**EPOV**

Bella just 'got' me, like no one else did. The way I treated her that night we made love after Six Flags was abhorrent and yet she accepted it; accepted me. This whole other person came out of me, and to be honest, he frightened me a little. It wasn't tying her up that was repulsive to me, that I wanted to do again. It was the sheer need I had for her, the desire to crawl inside of her and consume her. The feeling was all-encompassing and I felt powerless to control it. I was scared I was going to hurt her and then she showed me her trust by allowing me to tie her up. I fucking loved Bella Swan.

When I awoke in the morning, Bella's body was still curled tightly around mine. I inhaled her scent mixed with mine and it was divine. Her deep breaths turned shallow as I ran my hand along her arm and across her collarbones. I wanted to make up for the previous night, but taking her like a sex-starved deviant wouldn't do. I gently peeled myself away from her and went out into the kitchen.

I located some fruit in the fridge and cut it up while heating the skillet. I stirred the pancake mix with the eggs and milk and then poured it on the heated pan. A few minutes later, I had a warm breakfast and a glass of orange juice on a tray and I headed into the bedroom.

"Hey," she said, looking up at me lazily as I entered the room. She had obviously just woken up mere moments before I entered.

"Good morning, Sweetpea. Did you sleep well?"

"Like the dead." I shuddered at the phrase. "Is that for me?" she asked motioning to the tray I was still holding.

"Oh, yes," I said placing it down in front of her. She pulled herself into a sitting position and put the tray on her lap. I looked down at her and she raised her eyebrows, patting the bed for me to join her.

I felt like I was two steps behind as I wordlessly complied with her request. She moaned as the first bite entered her mouth. I think we all know what happened on my side of the bed.

She quirked her lips into a small smile and held up a piece of fruit for me. I wrapped my lips around her fingers and sucked the fruit from between them. I hadn't meant to seduce her with breakfast, but if she was going to make it so easy, then who was I to say no?

Her hooded eyes met mine and then I saw them sparkle. She looked back down at her plate and continued eating her breakfast. She wanted to play. I quickly threw the blankets over my head and slithered down to the bottom of the bed. I nibbled Bella's feet lightly causing her to squirm and laugh. I continued my path up her leg and her laughter quickly turned into gasps.

Bella quickly became putty in my hands and I was an expert in molding her. I kissed her center once before rolling off and out of the bed.

"Wait. What?" she said, confused at my sudden departure.

"I don't want your food to get cold," I teased with a smirk on my face.

"Edward, so help me, if you don't get back in this bed…"

"Whatcha gonna do?"

Bella shot up out of bed in a flash and sprinted towards me. I held steady as she sprung at me like a jungle cat. Her arms and legs wrapped around me and I held her in place.

"Now what?"

She gave me a mischievous smile, placed her legs down on the floor and grabbed my cock with her hand. She pumped a couple of times before dropping it and turning away.

"I'm not going to do anything," she purred.

It was my turn to pounce and I tackled her to the bed. The game was over, I couldn't take it anymore, and I had to have her. She rolled on top of me and we made quick work of our clothes. Bella rode me while keeping our hands intertwined near my head. Our eye contact remained as we enjoyed a frivolous round in the hay.

Sated and sleepy, I nuzzled on Bella's chest, enjoying the warmth. The phone ringing dragged me from my peace.

"Hello," I said, answering the phone in the other room.

"Edward," Alice answered.

"What's up?"

"I just heard, I wanted to call and say how sorry I am." Her tone was full of pity, something obviously terrible must have happened and I had no idea what it was.

"Heard what? What's wrong?" I inquired.

"You don't know?" she asked incredulously.

"Know what, Alice?" I said, starting to feel frustrated.

"Have you talked to your parents lately?" she hedged.

"I talked to Charlie a week and a half ago. You know Renee won't talk to me, not that I have anything to say to her right now anyway."

Bella appeared at the door and was looking at me quizzically. I pressed the speakerphone button and told Alice that Bella was there as well. I had a feeling that it would be better for us to hear whatever it was together.

"The whole town of Forks is buzzing about them getting a divorce," Alice said apologetically.

"What?" Bella huffed, "Were they saying why?"

"Everyone thinks the Chief has a little something on the side. The guys down at the station keep seeing him sneak off to make phone calls every week."

"He's calling us," I said indignantly. If anyone should be painted bad in a divorce, it should be Renee, and the fact that it wasn't made me angry.

"I figured, but how can he really explain that he has sneak off to call his children in secret?"

Bella's eyes watered up and I knew that she was about to break down. "Listen Alice, thanks for telling us. We have to go now, but we will call you later."

"Okay, I love you guys."

"You too," I replied hanging up the phone.

I pulled Bella towards me and provided comfort the best I knew how. While our news had been the catalyst for this divorce, I couldn't bear to be upset about it. Renee had ceased being the caring and loving mother I grew up with when she stormed out of our apartment months ago.

"This is our fault," Bella whimpered.

"No, Bella, it's not. This is Renee's fault. She made her own choices. I will not believe that our love destroyed anything of substance. If her hatred of our love caused her to destroy her own marriage, then that is on her, not us."

"I just feel bad for dad," she said still crying.

"I know. But she was always toxic for him, wrapped up in good intentions. I always thought her gossiping wasn't malicious but now I know it was. It is who she is. It breaks my heart that she has hurt you again."

"Edward, do you want me forever?" she asked shyly.

"Of course," I answered.

"Okay," she stated.

"Okay?"

"Then it's worth it. Anything is worth it, if I get you in the end." She straightened up and put on her brave face.

We spent the rest of the day whispering terms of endearment and showing each other with affection. There was no way we would let anyone bring us down. Sometimes you have to fight for what is right, and we planned to. We had suffered some casualties in our war but the battle was not lost. We were together, alone but united.


	24. Chapter 23

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars, Who is the wind beneath my wings.  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

**A/N- Here it is. The chapter a lot of you have been waiting for. **IMPORTANT AN BELOW**

Chapter 23

**BPOV**

Edward and I were sick of hiding. With Alice knowing, and our parents in the loop, we decided to test the waters and branch out. The next person to be notified was Jasper. We had Alice break it to him and he insisted to have seen it coming. Jasper's claim of clairvoyance got more amusing with every declaration.

Emmett and Rose's reactions were more mixed. I don't think they believed us at first, and then when they did, they were 'grossed' out. Emmett was a little taken aback by us dating while Rose was more concerned that it seemed to be pulling our family apart. I understood her point but couldn't agree. Renee's hate did that. It was something that we were going to have to agree to disagree on. I didn't foresee our friendship ending over it.

We didn't feel the need to broadcast it to everyone in Chicago but we did decide to tell Riley and Vicky. We invited them over for dinner and a movie, hoping that they would be okay with it.

"Edward, did you pick up the chips?" I called out from the bedroom. I was changing and had put him in charge of the snacks.

"Yes I did, Sweetpea," he replied, suddenly standing in the doorway. His eyes raked over me as I slid on my jeans.

I smiled at him and took a moment to appreciate him back. The multiple times growing up when I was angry at him for getting the 'good genes,' all of a sudden seemed to work in my favor. I knew I may be biased but I believed that the love of my life was truly the most beautiful man in the world.

All the things we had endured to get us to this point had been worth it, even losing our mother. There would never be anyone else for me. I hoped the same was true for him. The glimmer in his eyes told me it was.

When Riley and Vicky arrived, Edward and I were full of nervous energy. We wanted our new friends to accept us as we were, adopted siblings who fell in love. It wasn't as if we planned it, we even tried to deny it, but there was no doubt in my mind that we were soul mates, and you just can't fight that.

We had a nice dinner together, chatting about our everyday lives. They had convinced their parents to agree to them living together next year. Vicky was ecstatic to be able to give up the dorm room and use that extra money to save for a car. Riley had joked about promising to propose in the next year in order to get them to agree but I had a feeling that he was more serious than he let on.

Vicky and I took the plates into the kitchen and packed up the leftovers. I knew our time was coming up and we would be telling them any moment. I felt my hands shake as I scraped my plate into the garbage.

"What's wrong Bella?" Vicky asked, "You've been skittish all night."

"Well, it's just….Edward and I have something to tell you guys but I don't want you to look at us differently because of it. We really value your friendship and we want to be honest with you."

"Whatever it is Bella, it won't change our friendship. You guys are like our best friends, besides, who else would we borrow sugar from? Old man Parson next door creeps me out," Vicky said trying to joke while tearing up. We hugged and then laughed at how we were acting like silly emotional women.

"So you know how we said that Edward and my families were close?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, they aren't close. They are the same. Edward is my adopted brother." I watched her face for any sign of shock but she kept it clear.

"How old was he when your parents adopted him?"

"He was a baby," I cringed.

"So why didn't you guys just tell us?"

"There are so many stigmas attached to us dating. We just wanted to start fresh when we came here. See if we could make it in the normal world."

"Bella, I come from Kansas, I'm pretty sure you can marry your cousin there," she said laughing, "You guys have no blood relation, so that is totally okay."

I smiled and let out a breath. Vicky had taken it surprisingly well. I just hoped that Riley would as well. We walked out into the living room and found the boys playing video games.

"So Riley, Bella just told me that Edward is her adopted brother," Vicky blurted. I blanched at our secret coming out so casually.

"Weird," Riley replied, concentrating solely on the soldier with the large gun on the TV screen.

Edward faltered and Riley killed him off but that was the extent it was acknowledged. We fell into easy conversation once the boys finished their game. The mood lightened and I knew that nothing would change in our friendship. We told them briefly about our parents getting a divorce but didn't go into details of why. I'm not sure we could fully answer that question ourselves.

We said goodnight shortly after midnight, showing our guests out the door. Edward pulled me into his arms and I relaxed in his embrace. His hugs always made me feel better. No matter what we were facing or how long the day had been, Edward's arms were my sanctuary. Warm and strong and mine alone.

He led me into the bedroom and pulled my shirt off over my head. Unhooking my bra, he turned me around and slowly persuaded me to lie down on my stomach. As soon as my head hit the pillow, the energy rushed out of my body and I lay there like a lump on a log. Soon I felt Edward's hands caressing and massaging my back. He had put some sort of lotion or oil on his hands and they were moving expertly across me. The tension and knots melted away as his fingers gently kneaded my body.

When I was almost asleep, I felt him lean over and kiss my cheek lightly. I felt the bed move as he got up and went to wash his hands. I kicked off my pants and crawled under the blanket while he was gone.

I felt the bed dip right before his warm body pressed up against mine. I snuggled myself into his arms and fell asleep instantly.

* * *

The morning and my sleep were interrupted by the phone ringing. I groaned and rolled over, which I thought was international code for 'you get it,' but apparently Edward never got that memo because when he didn't move, I had to get up to answer it.

"Hello."

"Hey Bells, how are you?" Charlie asked.

"I'm okay dad, how are you?" I inquired sincerely. I knew the divorce proceedings had been taking a lot out of him.

"I'm okay kid. Things are a bit tough right now. I never knew how much lawyers cost."

"I'm sorry dad," I said, apologizing for everything.

"I know," he answered. "Hey listen, I just needed you guys to know that money is a little tight right now and so I'm not going to be able to help you out with your rent after next month. Your education funds are still okay and so school shouldn't be a problem but you are going to have to start paying for your own apartment."

I could hear the strain in his voice and it killed him to not be able to provide for his family like he wanted to. It would be tough but Edward and I could get jobs over the summer and it would be manageable.

"It's okay dad. We will figure something out," I said hoping to alleviate some of his guilt.

"Thanks kiddo. Say hi to your broth…to Edward for me," he stammered.

"Sure. Talk to you soon," I replied.

"Bye."

It was another minor bump in the road for us but I knew that we would be able to handle it. It's not like it was uncommon for students to pay their own rent or tuition. It should be easy for the two of us to share the costs.

**EPOV**

Whoever said that massages lead to sex were liars. Massages lead to tired girlfriends who fall asleep. I marked that down as one seduction technique to never try again. I had laid there in bed for an hour after she fell asleep, willing my excitement to go down. After touching her for thirty minutes, I was hoping for a little bit of reciprocation, but it was not meant to be.

In the morning, Charlie had called and told us that we had to start paying our own rent. I was hoping for a fun summer with Bella, relaxing and sightseeing, but I knew better than to feel disappointed. Charlie had lost a lot because of my and Bella's relationship and the least we could do was to get some part time jobs.

So on top of cramming for exams, we were job hunting.

By the time the day rolled around that we were supposed to go to Carlisle's for dinner, I was feeling like cancelling.

"We can't Edward; you've already put this off for months."

"I know," I replied.

While Bella had practically gone out the next day and found a job at a bookstore, I was having a much harder time finding a job for the summer. It was stressing me out, but I had put out a few new resumes that day and was hoping for the best.

When Bella emerged ready to go to dinner, she took my breath away. Dressed in a simple green dress, she had her hair pulled to the side and it hung down over her shoulder. She was stunning and she really had no clue.

"You're beautiful," I said, trying to convey the honesty I felt. Her blush told me that I had.

"Are you ready to go?" she asked.

"If I must."

"You must."

Arriving at Carlisle's, I was again taken aback by the size of his home. I held the door for Bella as she stepped out of the car and then took her arm in mine as we headed to the mansion.

Something had me on edge and it felt like forever from the time we rang the doorbell to the time the door opened. I suppose that it would take a good, long while to walk from one end of the house to the other to get the door.

We were shown into the sitting room that we had been in before. Carlisle looked as nervous as I felt and it only got me more concerned. Bella squeezed my hand and it helped relax me a little.

Esme walked into the room then with small, frantic steps and her eyes shot up when she realized that we were there.

"Oh, you're here. I….it's nice to see you again." Her demeanor had done a one eighty since the last time we had seen her. Her calculating looks and calmness was stripped away to reveal an unsure core. Although I did see her eye, Bella and my entwined hands and I could have swore I saw her brow furrow.

"Thank you for having us," Bella replied. She was the only one in the room that seemed unaffected by the atmosphere.

"Can I get you something to drink?" Carlisle asked.

Bella and I decided on Cokes and then we were escorted to the dining room. The dinner was already on the table by the time we got there. Bella sat beside me and Carlisle and Esme sat across from us.

"I know you are probably wondering why we asked you here," Esme started.

"Well yes. I mean I appreciate the offer but Carlisle seemed rather insistent about having us," I replied.

"Maybe it would be easier if I told you a bit about us," Esme continued, "Carlisle and I have been together since we were very young. Things were different back in those days and we were not always as careful as we should have been. When I was seventeen I had a baby and had to give him up for adoption."

Bella gasped and I sat reeling. I looked at Carlisle and noticed several similar features to mine. Esme shared the same strange hair color of mine but it couldn't be.

"All I was told was that they named him Edward, but when I was in the hospital, I heard the caseworker talking to the adopting mother and he called her Mrs. Swan. Edward, I think you are my son."

My blood was pounding so hard I found it hard to hear. It felt like I was underwater and everything was coming through muffled. Bella placed her hand on my leg and I could feel it shaking. She was shocked and yet her touch still calmed me.

"Esme…Esmeralda Platt?" I asked, knowing that her answer had the possibility to change my world.

"It's true," Carlisle said as Esme broke out in tears. She stood up and came running around the table and I met her with open arms. My mother. I had found my parents.

Unable to eat, we retired back to the sitting room. Esme was unable to keep her eyes off me and Carlisle could only be described as beaming.

"What happened? Why did you give me up?" I asked the question that had plagued me since I found out I was adopted. I grabbed Bella's hand in preparation of her answer.

"Before I answer that, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," I said hesitantly.

"Were you two not raised as siblings?"

"Yes," I said curtly. She had no right to judge, she gave me up. Esme didn't know me.

"Oh Edward, I am so sorry. I thought I was doing right by you by giving you up, but what kind of family must you come from that it's okay to date your sister?"

"Wait a second," I said angrily, "I love Bella and my parents were wonderful growing up. You have no right. We are leaving." I would not stand for her attacking me and my choices; I had had enough of that from my real parents.

"Please don't go," Carlisle said, panicked. "Esme, how could you. Believe me Edward; we know a thing or two about forbidden love." Carlisle looked at his wife and she bowed her head in shame.

"I'm sorry," she said simply. "He is right. Please sit down and I'll explain everything, okay?"

I looked over at Bella and she nodded at me, telling me that it was my choice. I sat back down on the couch and she followed.

"Carlisle and I were very young when we started dating, as I told you. His parents were very wealthy and mine were, well…mine were not. They didn't want him seeing me, and when we became pregnant, they sent him away before he could find out. I was too young to take care of you so I offered you up for adoption. Carlisle found out about you just days before I gave birth, and by the time he came back, you had already been given to your new home.

"We married a few years after that, amid protests from Carlisle's parents, but we were in love so we didn't care. I wanted so much to be able to keep you, but I knew that it would have been selfish. I had nothing to offer you then. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. I had a happy life. If you hadn't, I might have never met Bella."

"I know this is a lot to take in, but we were hoping that you would let us be a part of your life. However you want us to be," she added on.

"Wait," I said suddenly, "so I have a sister?"

"Yes, you do," Carlisle answered.

I started shaking, there were so many emotions boiling up in me. Bella looked at me with wide eyes, trying to decipher my feelings. I couldn't help her out because I didn't understand them yet.

"Is she here?" I asked.

"No, she is at a friend's house. We wanted to wait to tell her, after we were sure."

The rest of the night went in a blur. We asked each other questions about our pasts and talked a bit about our future. I knew immediately that I wanted these people in my life. They were good people. We made plans to meet again for dinner in a week.

In the car ride home, Bella was quiet, allowing me to soak in the evening. I was startled when all of a sudden she nearly shouted.

"Holy shit!"

"What?"

"Alice is your cousin!" she stated. "That totally explains the shopping fetish."

We burst out laughing as her comment broke the ice. I had a lot to take in, parents, a sister, and a cousin.

**E/N-There will be an EsmePOV outtake posting in a few days, please add me on author alert to make sure you get it. It is a closer look into her past. **

**I just wanted to remind you guys to come check out Sinful Thoughts on the Twilighted forums. Come and let me know what you think, you can even throw around some ideas of what is coming next. Cat, I'm talking to you! : ) **

**Also come and join the fanficanon group if you are on Facebook. It is full of great people and is a wonderful place to chat. **


	25. Chapter 24

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

**A/N- Thanks to Claire Bloom (Author of Spellbound) and the ladies over at Fanficaholics Anon for being so awesome. Also, a shout out to Malmo722 who is a great Twitter buddy and a kick-ass writer. If you aren't reading Taste of Blood or Not Dark Yet, you are missing out. **

Chapter 24

**BPOV**

My behavior during the few months after Edward discovered his birth family is not something I am proud of. While my family was being ripped apart, he was getting a shiny new one. I no longer had a brother or a mother but he had acquired a new sister.

I didn't want to be jealous of Tanya, but part of me felt like I was being replaced. Edward had found a job at a high end restaurant and the tips he made allowed him to work a fraction of the time I did for the same amount of pay. He took this time to get to know his new family.

I'm sure he didn't mean it, but it didn't take him long to start developing inside jokes with Tanya. We had spent our whole childhood sharing and knowing everything about each other, and in a matter of a few short weeks, there were things that I didn't know. It made me panic, and my panic made me moody.

"Why can't you just put the toilet seat down," I growled, "it's not like it is rocket science."

Edward looked up at me from the couch, stunned at my outburst. "Sorry, I didn't know it was such a big deal. You never said anything about it before," he replied.

"Well it is," I said, stomping off like a four year old having a temper tantrum. Like I said before, my attitude was not pretty.

Edward gave me my space which both relieved and infuriated me. I knew while I sat stewing in my own annoyance that he didn't have a prayer in winning and I was being unfair. It was just that the all encompassing love that I felt was suddenly threatened. Not that I thought he would leave me, but I didn't want to be one of those couples to whom it didn't matter if they spent chunks of time apart. I wanted him to need me like I needed him, all the time and with every part of my being.

I knew that nothing stayed the same forever. At some point we would have to be detached from the hip, I just didn't want it to be so soon. And I didn't want to be left out of such a crucial part of Edward's life. Carlisle and Esme were kind enough to me, but it was obvious that they wanted to spend the majority of their time with Edward.

Tanya was harder to read. Edward said that she liked me, but I wasn't so sure. She had really taken to having an older brother and Edward took the role seriously, disbanding advice like he was the Dali Lama.

* * *

I headed to the bookstore to start my shift. I was closing that night so Edward was having dinner with Carlisle just off campus. I was seething for no good reason other than I was feeling left out once again.

"Hey Felix," I said nodding towards my coworker.

Felix was a fun guy. He was twenty-six years old and managed the shop for his elderly mother. She was forty when she had him and was now suffering from severe arthritis, leaving her unable to run her store. He was a tall and broad man, easily giving Emmett a run for his money. The difference was that Felix couldn't scare a flea. The man was a huge teddy bear that you just wanted to hug every time you saw him.

Felix was filled with a huge amount of useless information like: did you know that the Giant cricket of Africa enjoys eating human hair? Or how about that under the law of Mississippi, there's no such thing as a female Peeping Tom. Or my personal favorite; did you know that a male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is still on? To initiate intercourse, the female rips the males head off. These are just some of the great tidbits of information that he was slowly killing my brain cells with.

"Hey Bella," he replied with a wide grin, "how is my favorite girl doing?"

Felix was also a huge flirt. I knew not to take him too seriously about it though. I had seen his girlfriend Heidi and knew that short, brunette me was no competition for leggy blond her.

"Fabulous as usual," I lied but enjoyed the easy banter.

Business was slow that night and Felix and I spent most of our night chatting by the front till. Whenever it was like that, we enjoyed playing a rousing game of twenty questions.

"Okay, have you ever dated two girls at the same time?" I asked.

"Yup," he said smugly.

"Wait, did they know about each other?"

"Nuh uh Bella boo, my turn," he chided. "Have you ever done anything illegal?"

My immediate thought was no, but then I when I considered it, I didn't know. I knew that Edward was my adopted brother but was what we were doing illegal? My pause was enough of a confirmation for Felix.

"Really!! What was it?" he prodded.

"No," I said, "I don't think I have."

"No way. You have to tell me. Was it shoplifting? Speeding ticket? Did you rob a bank?" I just shook my head and didn't say anything. "I can make you tell me, you know."

Before I had a chance to protest, Felix launched himself at me and started tickling my sides. Laughter burst out from my chest so fast I almost choked on the air.

"Tell me. Tell me," he demanded.

"Never," I laughed.

We were so distracted that we didn't hear the door open. It wasn't until I heard a throat clear that I realized Edward was standing right in front of me. Felix looked up, and taking in the hard expression on Edward's face, he dropped his hands from my sides.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked, feeling the uncomfortable tension in the room.

"I just left Carlisle and I thought I would stop by and see you," he said his words sharp.

"Why don't you take your break now," Felix suggested and I agreed.

Once we had stepped outside the door, Edward grabbed my arm and nearly dragged me over to the alley beside the store.

"What was that about?" he asked sternly, trapping me between him and the wall.

"We were just goofing around. You aren't the only person with new people in their lives," I spat out. My good mood had disappeared quickly.

"I'm getting to know my real family Bella; you are hanging all over some guy."

"Oh no, you did not just say that. I have never been jealous of your and Alice's friendship, even before I knew you were related. And I'm glad to know that I am not your _real_ family Edward." Tears built up in my eyes and I willed them not to fall. I was angry and wanted to win this fight with words, not guilt. I turned my head from him, still trapped by his arms.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," he said quietly.

"I feel really left out of your life right now, Edward," I replied, my voice cracking.

"I feel bad about that, I really do, but I want you to talk to me about it. I haven't seen you laugh in almost a month, and when I walked in and saw you happy with him, I just freaked."

"He really is just a friend," I stated.

"I know. It's just that I used to be that friend. The one you talked to and laughed with, I miss that."

"I'm sorry too."

He brought his hand up to my cheek and gently caressed it. He tentatively brought his lips to mine and it felt wonderful to be connected to him again.

"It felt like you were going away, like you found a new home," I said once we broke the kiss.

"Bella, you are my porch light, if you went out I would never be able to find my way home. I love you so much and I want you to be a part of my new life. I want my biological parents to love you as much as I do."

"I want that too." I pulled his face back down to mine and kissed him passionately. He groaned as I poured my apology into my kiss.

I had some growing to do, and now that I was open and honest with Edward, we had a chance of doing that together.

**EPOV**

Bella's emotions had been all over the board and I really had no idea of how to deal with them. I had never seen her moods swing so rapidly and I couldn't help but think it had to do with me. The problem was that I had no idea what I was doing wrong.

I got a job at a high end restaurant called Eclipse. I had never waited tables before but it turned out I was a natural. A friendly smile and some courteous service allowed me to bring in hundreds in tips a night. I was grateful to have found something that paid so well, it left Bella and I in the clear for our rent. I knew that I would be able to keep the job once we started back at school as well seeing as how I mostly just worked evenings and weekends.

Most of Bella's shifts were during the day so I took that time to get acquainted with my biological family. Esme had a biting sense of humor that I never expected. She was a homebody who loved to cook and cross-stitch. Carlisle and I already had found many things in common. Our habits and mannerisms were eerily similar. It was interesting discussing the nature over nurture aspect with him.

Carlisle was a bright man and he loved to teach. It was obvious from his surroundings that he had a lot of family money. Both of my grandparents on his side had passed, and even though they didn't agree with him marrying Esme, they left him their money. He never really went into what they did, it seemed as if they were in his past and he wanted them left there.

Hanging out with Tanya was a complete surprise to me. We immediately formed a bond and I was struck with how different it felt from the bond I had with Bella. Even when we were young there was more to us than what lay on the surface. With Tanya, I felt the urge to protect her and have her partake of my wisdom. Hey, she was turning thirteen; she would need all the wisdom she could get.

I didn't notice the change in Bella's demeanor right away, but when I look back on it, it was almost instant. When I would return from visiting with my family, she would be snappy and curt. At first, I just attributed it to us not getting to spend enough time together, but soon it became clear that there was more to it than that.

I ignored it as much as I could. I tried at first to be caring and sweet, when that didn't work, I tried biting back, and when that failed, I just went back to ignoring it. The final straw was coming into the bookstore to see her and witnessing her coworker tickling her. Bella and I had always been very trusting of each other, we knew better than to be jealous, but after feeling neglected and picked upon for weeks, I snapped. When she told me that she felt like I was leaving her for my new family, my heart nearly broke.

I vowed to myself to make sure that I included her in my plans. She had spent some time with my biological family but not enough. I needed to make sure that she was loved by them as well, if they couldn't treat my girl like family, then they had no place in my life either.

It was two weeks after 'Alleygate', which is what I had taken to calling it. Bella and I had been invited over to Carlisle and Esme's for dinner. We had talked about how she felt left out, especially around Tanya. It was strange that even though she didn't want to be my sister, she still felt protective in that claim for me. I couldn't blame her though. With our parents divorcing and me finding my other family, she was almost left alone. I wouldn't let that happen though. She was too important to be feeling so small.

"Do I look all right?" Bella asked, spinning nervously in front of me. Even though none of my new family knew about our recent breakdown, she still felt unsure around them.

"You look beautiful," I told her as I took in the sight of her in an emerald green dress. She threw a small sweater over it and slipped on heels, something she rarely did. I couldn't help but notice how nice they made her legs look. Not that they didn't always look good, but the little dip behind her ankle just looked lickable.

I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her waist. She reached up and slung her arms around my neck. She smiled softly and I bent down to taste her lips. Her warm body pressed against mine was throwing my concentration but I managed to break myself away.

"We better get going," I said, wishing I had just a half hour longer to spend alone with her.

"Okay," she pouted and I chuckled.

I turned on the new stereo system in my car. Carlisle and Esme had given it to me for my birthday. I thought it was too much but they insisted. Bella's legs were vibrating in the seat next to me and all of her nervous energy was rubbing off on me.

"It's going to be fine," I said, placing my hand on her leg. My touch soothed her and she stopped writhing in her seat.

"I know…I just….this means so much to you and I just want to be there with you. I don't want it to always be that you have to go off on your own when it comes to your family."

"Bella, you are my family and so that makes them your family too. You'll see, once they get to know you, they will love you."

"How could they not?" she teased and I was glad to see that she was letting some of her anxiety go.

* * *

"So Bella, why don't you tell us what it was like growing up with Edward," Carlisle suggested.

We had retired after dinner to the living room and were sitting comfortably on the couches. I knew that he was attempting to include her in the conversation and I really appreciated it.

"Well it was an adventure, that's for sure," she said laughing, "Edward was always very protective of me and so we tended to have a lot of fights with the neighborhood kids. One of them would steal a toy or pull my hair and Edward was there defending my honor. I'll never forget the time when little Lottie Brauer gave him a fat lip."

Esme raised her eyebrows and Carlisle looked like he was holding in a laugh. What happened was this: Lottie, or Charlotte Brauer was the daughter of evil, and when she was five, she took a pair of scissors and cut off Jane Stromboski's ponytail. When she was six, she poured a bottle of hair remover on her brother's head because everyone said how nice his hair was. So at age seven, when I seen her walking up behind Bella with a pitcher of juice, I was sure that she was going to dump it on her. I ran up behind the little monster and yanked down her pants. She stumbled and fell, spilling the just of juice all down her chest.

"Edward, what did you do that for?" Bella cried as she turned towards the commotion.

"She was going to…uh…." I stammered.

So as it turned out, Bella had asked Lottie to bring her out some juice and I had stepped in and made a giant jerk of myself. When Lottie righted herself and had pulled up her pants, I went to apologize. I only got the "I'm" out before she slugged me in the face.

"I thought she was going to dump juice on you," I grumbled and Tanya broke out laughing first. "Don't you laugh; you don't know the fun you missed out on."

When my words came out I regretted them. A heavy silence fell on the room. I hadn't meant to bring guilt about the adoption. Even though it might have been easier with Bella if we hadn't have grown up together, I wouldn't trade a minute I had with her, ever.

"Edward, there is something we would like to discuss with you," Carlisle said breaking the silence.

"Sure," I replied.

"As you can see, we are very well off. Esme and I feel bad about having to give you up, even though it was the right thing at the time. We would consider it a gift for us if you would let us pay for your education."

I sat back stunned. I had not seen this coming. Sure, late a night I had fantasized what it would be like to have grown up with all their money but I never actively wanted it. I just wanted to know them and find out a bit more about myself.

"I already have a college fund set aside by my parents. I appreciate your offer but it's really not needed. Your time is worth more to me than your money," I said honestly.

"And we appreciate getting the time with you as well," Esme spoke.

"Well we would really like to do something. What if we bought you two an apartment? You could choose whatever you liked."

I heard Bella take a gasping breath. Their offer was really more than I expected. I looked over to her and she gave me a small nod. One that I was sure said, 'take the freaking apartment, Edward!'

"That would be much appreciated. Thank you both," I said earnestly. The words didn't seem like enough but how do you respond when people you have barely known for a few months offer to buy you a home. Any sentiment seems lacking.

"Does this mean I get an apartment when I move out too?" Tanya whined and the room broke out in laughter.

**E/N- Thank you to my fabulous beta who gave me the praying mantis fact. **

**Come follow me on Twitter if you dare, I am listed as Vampiremama.**


	26. Chapter 25

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

**A/N- I have finished writing this story and just wanted to let you know that there are 27 chapters and a short epilogue. **

**I am currently drafting up an outline for a new story that I am super excited about. It will be an AU that will take the place of the Twilight book. It will be darker than Ms. Meyers work as Bella will be an adult in the story but that also means it can be sexier. I will be taking a short break before I start posting that story so I do hope you will add me to Author Alert so you will know when I being posting. **

**Thanks to everyone who has been reading, I love all of your comments and passion for my story. **

Chapter 25

"Do you think Renee every really loved me?" Edward asked as we sat facing each other on the couch. I had my feet resting on his lap; our casual position betrayed the serious conversation we were having.

"Of course I do," I said honestly. I truly believed that Renee did love Edward. I just think that Renee loved herself more. The scandal that our relationship would cause in our tiny hometown was enough to make her squirm. After years of being in charge of all the local gossip, Renee would have suddenly been at the centre of it. It was too much for her to handle. I wasn't defending her. She was horrible and I had cut off contact almost immediately.

"It still hurts," he said quietly. "Months after and it still hurts." The look on his face broke my heart again.

"It will probably always hurt. I feel bad for dad. He is stuck in that town and everyone thinks he is the bad guy. As far as Charlie says, no one, but who we have told, knows about us. Everyone still thinks that he cheated on Renee."

"I went from finding out I was adopted to losing my so-called mother and gaining another family in such a short time. Sometimes I think it must be a dream."

"Or a nightmare," I whispered.

"No, being with you could never be a nightmare no matter how many other things went wrong."

"I love you," I said sitting up and leaning over to kiss him.

He grabbed my head and pulled me over, flipping my body onto his. I could feel all of his hurt leaking into our kiss. It had been building up again lately. I guess a shiny new family couldn't erase the pain caused by Renee.

This was how these conversations always ended. As soon as we talked about Renee, Edward would become very needy. It was always intense and I knew that it was his way of letting his frustrations out. The problem was that I was starting to have a Pavlovian response every time we mentioned my mother. A psychiatrist would have a field day with me. Dating my brother and turned on by conversations regarding abandonment. I was pretty sure I wasn't a very healthy individual.

Edward used a firm hand to squeeze my behind, causing me to lose my train of thought and enter back into the moment. He pushed me up and I was confused until he jumped up off the couch and pulled me to him.

While frantically trying to remove my shirt, Edward backed me up until I was flush against our wall. I hit it with a thud and the shock sent a jolt of passion through me. He broke the kiss only to pull my top over my head. When his eyes settled back on me, they were filled with lust.

Delicious, beautiful lust.

I reached around and undid my bra as Edward yanked my pants down my legs. I stepped out and teetered for a moment, he grabbed my hips to steady me but his action only made me weaker in the knees.

He bit and nipped my neck and breasts until I was shaking with need. When I tried to pull him to me to create more friction, he just growled and held my hands tight over my head. His need to control something after feeling so lost was evident. One really hard bite on the juncture of my neck and shoulder caused me to cry out and moan simultaneously. The sound egged Edward on, and before I knew it, he had freed himself from his pants and was slamming into me.

He had grabbed my legs and wrapped them around his waist to allow him to stand straight while taking me.

Every thrust pressed me into the wall and sent a new sensation through my body.

Bang.

Being trapped in this position made me feel completely consumed by him.

Bang.

His kisses became feverish.

Bang.

I was stuck somewhere between pain and pleasure, and I never wanted it to stop.

Bang.

He began a desperate grunting that had me feeling mixed up.

Bang.

I came, my eyes rolling into the back of my head.

Bang.

He followed me, sliding us to the floor as his own legs became weak.

"Bella, I'm sorry," he said weakly. I looked at him and furrowed my brow. I thought it was pretty obvious that I had enjoyed myself.

"What for?" I asked.

"I forgot to use a condom," he replied. I could see him beating himself up for his mistake.

"Hey, it's okay." And it really was. I was still on the pill; the condom was just an extra precaution. It's not like we never went without one in the shower.

"Sometimes I just need you so much, Sweetpea. I can't even focus on anything else. I never want you to feel like I am disrespecting you."

"_Were_ you disrespecting me Edward?" I asked in a small voice.

"Never!" he exclaimed.

"Well then don't worry about it. The way that we choose to express our love can vary, I actually need it to. I like variety Edward." He looked at me strange, so I clarified, "With you. I like variety with you. Don't ever apologize about needing me the way you do. I don't know that I would do if you stopped."

A small smile crept on his face. "You really are a dream, Bella."

I answered him with a soft kiss on his lips. We made our way to our bed and curled up under the covers. He still had a lot of healing to do over what mom had said to him and I didn't know quite how to help him through it. I would just have to be there for Edward when he needed me and I hoped that would be enough.

I spent the next few weeks doing research on the internet. I even called a few lawyers. Only one of them didn't hang up on me. I didn't tell Edward what I was doing as I didn't want to put any pressure on him. I knew in that we decided that we would be together forever but part of me wanted to make it official.

It turns out that what Edward and I were doing was wrong in the eyes of the law. It made me angry that such a pure love could be considered so bleakly. In order for us to get married, we would have to try to void Edward's adoption. This option would surely break Charlie's heart. I knew that he would allow it, but at the same time, it would break his heart. Again, I just couldn't bring myself to do that.

I paid more money than I would like to admit to Mr. Jenks, my lawyer, in attempts to find a loophole. I even tried to check out other countries that would allow us to marry, but Google came up empty.

What I did learn was most people can marry their cousin in the United States, about one in every thousand do. About twenty percent of all couples worldwide are first cousins and I can guarantee they share more common blood than Edward and I did.

The more I read that it was impossible that we could get married, the more I wanted it. I started compiling a list of countries where incest was allowed. I hated that word, and I didn't think that what Edward and I were doing classified as incest, but my government did.

I tucked the list into the desk drawer and logged off the computer. I felt Edward's hands on my neck as the screen turned black. I jumped.

"You startled me," I said lamely.

"What were you doing?" he asked.

"Just checking my e-mail," I lied poorly. Edward could tell, the look on his face told me he wasn't buying it but he left it alone.

I took a quick shower and then joined Edward in the bed. His delicious scent of ocean waves both calmed and excited me. I laid my head on his chest and the soft thud of his heartbeat on my cheek lulled me to sleep.

**EPOV**

One of the things I loved most about Bella was her ability to compartmentalize. She could take any problem and break it down to its simplest form. Not that she had the ability to solve world hunger or anything, well maybe if she put her mind to it, but she had a way to make everything in my world seem better.

I would have small panic attacks or bouts of anxiety when I thought about Renee. Not all the time, but they would hit me once a month or so. I desperately wanted to erase her from my memory, but how could you do that with a woman you called 'mom' for your whole life? And as much as I didn't want to admit it to myself, there were good times as well. It was those remembrances that hurt the most.

Carlisle and Esme had been wonderful to me and Bella. After the small hiccup, she was feeling more at ease with them. I knew for a fact that they were starting to think of her as a daughter and that thought thrilled me. Tanya was a bit of a harder nut to crack. Bella was a beautiful girl and Tanya was a typical pre-teen. She felt threatened by Bella, causing her to be insecure and act a bit snarky. Bella started to just wave it off and they were both coming around.

In the late summer, I decided it was time to tell Charlie that I had found my birth parents. It was a call that I was dreading. With all the hassles Renee was putting him through with the divorce; I didn't want to add any stress to him. I didn't know whether he would be happy for me or if he would feel like I was replacing him. One thought that ran through my head was that this would be the final straw. Charlie would lose it and come down here to shoot us all. Of course my overactive imagination had reared its head. The damn thing fed on my stress.

Bella had pumped me full of positive energy and provided me with a relaxing round of fellatio before I made the call. Her sweet eyes stared at me from her side of the bed as we both sat cross-legged and opposite from each other.

"You can do this," she said softly as I dialed the number. You would think after telling your father that you are dating his daughter that nothing could rattle you. You would be wrong.

I shot Bella my best attempt at a smile which I am sure was more like a grimace. The phone rang three times before Charlie picked up but it felt more like twenty.

"Chief Swan," Charlie said answering.

"Hey dad," I replied.

"Edward, how are you son?" he asked. I had noticed that he tried to use that word as often as he could since Renee had left. He wanted me to know that I was still his son in every sense of the word, and that his love never stopped. I was sentimental enough to be elated by it.

"Good dad. There is something that I wanted to talk to you about," I started.

"You're not making me a grandpa yet are you?" he teased and I laughed awkwardly.

"No, not yet." The word yet felt both strange and exciting as I said it. "What I wanted to tell you was…Well through a series of weird coincidences, I found my birth parents." The silence on the other end of the phone was deafening.

"Both of them?" he asked confused. "There was no father's name on the birth certificate."

"They were childhood sweethearts that ended up getting married after high school," I said, then relaying the story as Esme and Carlisle had told me.

"You would really like them, dad," I said, "They are really great to both Bella and I." I decided not to tell him about them funding our apartment. I figured one step at a time.

"Well I am glad to hear that Edward. I am happy that you have some support out there." There was an awkward pause and then he said, "Do they know about you and Bella?"

"Yeah, and they are okay with it. They were a little freaked out at first but Carlisle had seen us around the university and could tell that we were in love."

"That's really great son."

Bella nestled her head in my lap as I continued to chat with Charlie. I stroked her hair absentmindedly while Charlie told me about the happenings of Forks. Apparently he had an admirer that he didn't know what to do with. He joked around but I could tell that he was lonely.

I decided then and there to invite him out for Christmas. I thought it would be a more relaxing time to do it in Chicago without the task of hiding. While none of us were ashamed of our relationship, I didn't want Charlie to get in any trouble.

He sounded relieved that we wanted him to come spend the holidays with us. Bella smiled up at me from my thigh and I winked at her.

The phone rang again shortly after I hung up with Charlie. Ever since Alice had found out that we were related she had been calling at least once a week. To say she was thrilled would be like saying Walt Disney was a profitable company. The understatement was immense.

I would like to say that we talked about our new mutual family and she gave me insight on them, but the truth is we usually just chatted about nothing, and shoes. After an hour one evening, even I was starting to think I was getting carried away with my habit. Bella called it a fetish but I didn't like that word. It implied something sexual, and while the thought of Bella in nothing but a pair of high heeled shoes excited me, I was pretty sure that any man would think the same.

On this particular call, Alice had some rather exciting news. Jazz had stated his intention to marry her. I asked if that meant he proposed but she said not technically.

"He said he can see himself spending the rest of his life with me. It is as good as a proposal," she chirped. I didn't want to break it to her, but that was nowhere near a proposal.

If I was going to propose to Bella, there would be no doubt. There would be candles and roses and a ring. Definitely a ring. I knew that Bella and I would never be able to get married. It just wasn't in the cards for us. But the thought that I wouldn't be able to ask her to be my wife made me a little sad. I wanted the people most important to us to be able to witness us saying vows to each other. Legal or not.

* * *

I pulled open the desk drawer looking for a pen. It was a cluttered mess and on top of it all was a notepad. As I took it out, I noticed that it appeared to be a list.

**Belgium**

**Brazil **

**Portugal**

**Sweden**

**Japan???**

What on earth was Bella making a list of countries for? It wasn't a proud moment for me but I am incredibly curious and Bella knew this about me. If she didn't want me to know, she should have hid it better.

Forgetting my task, I booted up the computer. Quickly scrolling through the browser history, I was able to locate what she was searching for; countries that we could legally get married in. Joy filled up my heart as I thought about Bella in a wedding gown…okay, okay, I was thinking about the white corset and garter belt she would wear under the dress but I am a guy after all. Once again, Bella and I were on the same wave length.

The idea of running off to Brazil to get married did hold some merit but the fact that they would recognize our marriage made no difference if we didn't live in the country. Once we returned to the states, we will still be viewed as brother and sister. That being said, if Bella wanted to do it, I would be there in a heartbeat.

What I thought would be more meaningful for us would be a private ceremony with all of our supporters in attendance. I suddenly had a stronger understanding of the hardships that homosexuals in our country go through.

But what I needed to do first was propose and the first step was to ask her dad, my dad. Yeah, that was going to be weird.

Turned out, Charlie was thrilled. I couldn't be sure if it was because Renee would shit or if he was genuinely happy about the idea but I took it regardless. Charlie had been really wonderful to the both of us through all of this. If he wanted to have vindictive motivations for wanting us to marry, than I was more than okay with that.

I took Riley out with me to go ring shopping. The moment we entered the mall, I was cursing myself for not bringing Vicky instead.

"I just want to stop in and pick up a copy of Jade Empire from the game store," he said seconds after we entered the mall.

"Yeah, sure," I said cursing myself for not keeping him focused. Thirty minutes and three games later, Riley finally left the store.

I managed to get him to Tiffany's but his eyes glazed over as soon as we entered the store. I found the ring section and started scanning the showcase.

"Can I help you with something?" a blonde-haired man asked.

"Yeah, I'm looking for an engagement ring," I replied.

"Very good," he spoke, sounding exactly like Mr. Bean from that romantic comedy movie Bella always makes me watch at Christmastime.

The man had a long ponytail that was tied tightly at the nape of his neck. He looked like a guy you would see in an action movie until you heard him talk or saw him move. The man was obviously playing for his own team and wasn't afraid of letting anyone know it.

"Did you have a price range in mind?" he asked. It was a very good question and one that I should have asked myself before leaving the house. The truth was, I had a little money saved but I wasn't sure if it was enough to get a nice ring. So I did the only thing I could think of, I lied.

"Price isn't important." I figured I could get an idea of how much rings cost and then I could compare that with my savings.

"Very good, sir," the man replied. I noticed as he bent to unlock the glass case that his nametag said James.

The first one I had him show me was twenty-two thousand dollars. I tried to keep a calm face but at that moment Riley decided to join me and make an asinine comment about me being a student.

James raised his eyebrow at me before placing the ring back in the case. "Maybe this will be more to your liking, sir." The ring he pulled out was heart shaped with three small diamonds in it. It didn't take a genius to realize that this was not an engagement ring. The price tag at sixteen hundred was more manageable than the other one but the ring was wrong.

I all but ignored the ring he pulled out for me and asked to see another one. It was a simple solitaire round cut diamond ring and I was sure that Bella would love it. It was simple yet elegant, just like her. The problem was it was thirteen thousand dollars.

I left the store feeling defeated. Riley didn't seem to notice my mood and even asked me to come play video games with him when we returned home. I declined.

I opened up the apartment door and sulked my way in. The room was dark but lit up by candlelight. Bella had moved the couch and in the middle of the floor she had placed a large blanket along with a light meal.

She was stunning, sitting there with her legs folded under her, trying to be comfortable while sitting like a lady in her dress. She shot me a small smile but looked nervous.

My spirits were immediately lifted as I sat down to Bella's impromptu picnic. We chatted about our days. Victoria and she had spent the day painting which apparently included her toenails.

"So are you going to tell me what I've done to deserve such a nice homecoming?" I asked.

"I love you," she said simply.

"I love you too," I replied kissing her. She was hesitant so I pulled back. There was more that she wasn't saying.

A wordless question was sent a reply; Bella spoke, "Edward, will you marry me?"

**E/N- Don't forget to join us over at the thread on Twilighted. **

**You can follow me on Twitter under Vampiremama**


	27. Chapter 26

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars, Who is the wind beneath my wings.  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

**A/N- Thanks so much to Livvi84 for the legal advice. : ) **

**One more chapter and an epi after this. **

**I want to take a moment and rec a wonderful new fic that has just started. M81170 has written a witty and clever story called ****An Introduction to Swirl and Daisy****. It is only a few chapters in but I love it. **

Chapter 26

**BPOV**

The last thing you want when you propose to the one you love is dead silence, but that is what I was sitting through, waiting for Edward to answer. The air was thick and I found myself having difficulty breathing. While I knew him well enough to know that he did want to spend the rest of his life with me, what I hadn't considered was how much he may have wanted to be the one who proposed.

Panic flooded my system as I sat there frozen staring at Edward's own shocked body. He was still stunningly beautiful even while he was scaring the shit out of me.

I just couldn't seem to wait to propose. After doing all the research on how and where we could get married, the thought just wouldn't leave my mind. I had spent three days fretting over how I would do it and decided that simplistic and romantic was just us. But waiting for an answer from a flabbergasted Edward was causing me to reconsider.

"Uhm, listen never mind, okay...I just…I don't know what I was thinking…I…" I stammered.

"No, Bella...I mean yes. Of course I will marry you," he finally said.

I sat motionless, letting the words sink in. "Do you mean it?" I asked carefully.

"Of course," he replied, now beaming. I launched myself at him and hugged him with all my might. "I just, I was thinking about asking you…"

"I'm sorry; did I ruin it for you?" I asked worriedly.

"No Bella, it was perfect."

His lips met mine and moved in delicious tandem. Each breath, each sigh, were the subtle signs of how much we knew each other and how in tune we were to the other's bodies. I stretched out my leg, slowly pushing the plates of food off the blanket. The plate I had filled with strawberries and whipped cream gave me the most problems, leaving me with a large dollop of sugary goodness on my toes.

Edward chuckled when he saw me trying to wipe it back onto the plate without disturbing our kiss. He sat back from me and pick up my leg, sliding his smooth face along the skin and down towards my feet. Once he arrived at his destination, he licked and sucked on my toes, causing my body to flush. It became clear then and there that it didn't seem to matter what that boy did, it turned me on.

"So you really do have a foot fetish," I giggled, "I thought it was just about shoes."

Edward growled before sliding his way up my body. He kissed my stomach on his way before saying, "I have a Bella fetish." He promptly bit my neck, causing my head to fling back and a garbled noise to escape my throat.

I expected him next to attack me, but he kept himself restrained, whispering words of love and devotion as he paid tribute to my body. Before long, we were relieved of our clothing and I lay trembling in the middle of the blanket.

Edward reached down and grabbed a strawberry from the plate, dipped it in whipped cream, and then painted small circles around my breasts. Once he was satisfied with his masterpiece, he placed the strawberry between his lips and offered it to me. My tongue entered his mouth and slid around the strawberry, expertly pulling it back into my own mouth, if I don't say so myself.

Once the berry was consumed, Edward returned to my breasts to clean up his mess. Slow licks and deep sucks were causing me to feel dizzy with want. I was certain no matter how hard I looked I would never find anyone that could make me feel as he did.

When I finally begged for his body, he slipped on a condom and found his way home. It struck me as he moved within me that this was our first sex as an engaged couple, and no matter what the law thought, he was mine and I was his. Our vows were real.

* * *

I laid in bed thinking about our future. Edward was snoring softly beside me as he tended to do after physically exerting himself. His snores were like a badge of honor for me. When I heard them, I knew I had done a good job. I stroked his hair lightly, trying not to disturb him. A gentle purr escaped his lips, causing me to smile.

I thought about some of the good times growing up with Edward. I remembered when he was four and I was five, he got scared from thunder and had run into my bedroom. I stroked his hair, similarly to what I was doing now and hummed until he fell asleep. It was one of the few times I remembered taking care of him. He was always the one who took care of me. I laughed quietly thinking about how many spiders he had killed for me throughout my childhood. He would make a great dad.

When I came out of my inner musings, I realized that I was staring into Edward's vibrant, green eyes. He smiled when he noticed that he finally caught my attention.

"What were you thinking about?" he asked, caressing my back with his hand that was draped over my side.

"Spiders," I answered.

"You continue to surprise me," he replied and then changed gears, "So, miss proposal lady, what is our plan?"

"Well I have done a bit of research and I know there are a few countries that would marry us, but it wouldn't make it legal here."

"Is that what you want to do?" he asked carefully.

"I am open to suggestions," I replied, chuckling at his pussyfooting.

"Well I was thinking that maybe we could just do a commitment ceremony here. We could invite all the people who are important to us and just exchange our vows in front of them. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me that I'm yours or you're mine."

* * *

Work felt way to early the next morning. I stumbled out of bed feeling stiff and sore, because after discussing our vow ceremony, I had to have Edward again….and again. What? You guys just get to read about how hot he is; I see it! And it leaves a girl insatiable.

"Bella!" Felix shouted as I entered the store. "Did you know, more than ten people a year are killed by vending machines?"

"That's why I get my beverages at Starbucks," I replied smiling.

The day went slowly and I felt anxious. Edward and I hadn't discussed if and what we were telling people about the engagement. Keeping that kind of secret to myself was proving to be more difficult than I expected. Maybe I had more of Renee in me than I realized, I thought begrudgingly.

Edward had made me dinner by the time I had gotten home and left it in the fridge. He was working the evening shift so I was home alone. I pulled out my cell phone and texted Edward, asking how his day was going.

**B-miss you, my beautiful fiancé –E**

**E-Thanks 4 dinner –B**

**B-no worries -E**

**E-Who should we tell first? I want to tell someone–B**

**B- Charlie, he's been dying to hear how it went—E**

**E- He knows? How? –B**

**B- I kind of asked him permission –E**

**E-I love you – B**

**B- I love you back -E**

He had to get back to work, I was lucky to have caught him on break. I was glad that the stress of telling Charlie had been somewhat lifted but another complication made itself known to me. Everyone knew Edward as Edward Masen but legally he was still Swan. If we told people that we had gotten married, they would expect me to become Bella Masen. If we changed our names to Masen, Edward would legally be Edward Masen Masen. I suppose I could say I kept my maiden name but I wanted to share a name with Edward. I wanted our future family to be a unit with one common name. The question was…which one? The whole thought was making my head hurt.

I wondered what Edward would want to do. Would he even want to change names? Would he want us both to still be Swans so that he could go back to being called Edward Swan? He might take a bit of ribbing from people who didn't know but I figured that may be his top choice.

All I knew was that we needed to talk about all this and soon. I wanted to marry Edward as soon as humanly possible. I wanted all our friends and supportive family to know the best part about my life, who I chose to spend it with.

**EPOV**

Call me whipped but a day without Bella just plain sucks. With our counteracting work schedules, we spent our first day engaged, apart. The high I was riding did, however, cause me to get a few extra tips. Apparently a happy me is a well tipped me.

On my way home from my shift, I drove extra fast, wanting to get home to see my love. I knew that things were still new but I wanted to start planning. I wanted everything to be perfect for her. How I never clued in I was related to Alice, I would never know. At least now I could blame genetics. I knew Bella would want something simple but I wanted her to know that she could have whatever it was that she wanted.

Bella was curled up on the couch with a blanket when I arrived home. The television was on low and I could tell by the gentle rise and fall of her body that she was asleep. I turned off the set and gently lifted her from the couch. She stayed asleep until the moment I placed her in our bed.

"Edward?" she asked groggily.

"Hey Sweetpea," I replied kissing her forehead, "how was your night?"

"Lonely."

She snuggled into her pillow and I took a couple of minutes to change and get ready for bed. I crawled into bed beside her and wrapped my arm around her.

"Edward?"

"Yeah baby?"

"Do you think Carlisle would let us use his place for the ceremony?"

"I'll ask him," I replied. We were once again on the same wavelength. I could think of nowhere better to have our ceremony. Carlisle's house was large and the grounds were kept immaculate.

I went to see Carlisle the next day. I had a bit more to ask him than just the request for the wedding location.

"Well hello Edward, how are you?" he asked, opening the door for me to come in. He was always very welcoming, even when I stopped in uninvited.

"Good. There was something I would like to discuss with you," I said as he led me into the living room.

"What is it? Do you need money?" I laughed because it sometimes felt like Carlisle was trying to throw money at me. I was certain he didn't mean it to offend; he just had so much that he couldn't help but offer it out at every turn. He was truly a giving soul.

"No, no. Nothing like that," I assured him. "I wanted to ask some personal questions…about my health history."

I wanted to be able to have this information in case Bella and I ever decided to have children and I was pretty sure that we would. As it turned out, Carlisle and Esme's bill of health was as squeaky clean as their polished marble floors.

"There was something else I wanted to tell you," I started, "Bella and I are getting married."

He looked a little shocked before asking, "How?"

"We were hoping to have a small ceremony where we pledge vows to each other. Bella and I were hoping you would let us have it here."

Carlisle's face lit up with undeniable joy. "I am honored that you would allow us to host you." When he finished his statement his eyes seemed to glass over. "So tell me son, how did you propose?"

I was shocked. It was the first time he had called me son and I felt mixed emotions about it. I was starting to truly love Carlisle as family but I didn't want to betray my dad; the one that had taken care of me all my life. To be honest, it wasn't the word that tripped my guilt; it was what I was planning on asking next.

"Well to be honest, I didn't."

"HA! Bella proposed, that's fabulous! Esme owes me a back rub."

"You bet on who would propose?" I wasn't sure if I was insulted that they made the bet or that Carlisle bet against me.

"So did you buy her a ring yet?"

"No, I found one I really like but I need to save up a bit first."

Carlisle looked at me and frowned. "Edward, please let me do this for you. How much do you need?"

"No, it's too much," I said thinking about the thirteen thousand dollar ring.

"Nonsense. Esme and I fully intend on helping out with the wedding costs. Here, I will write you a check and you can put whatever you wish of it towards the ring."

Carlisle wouldn't take no for an answer, and when he placed the check in my hand, I refused to look at it. I needed to say one more thing.

"Bella and I legally have the same last name right now, but as you know, everyone here knows me as Masen. We will both legally have to change our names so that we can share a family name and I would like to be able to offer her Cullen….if that is okay with you."

Carlisle stood quickly and I followed him, nervous of his reaction. His arms were around me faster than I could anticipate and he was hugging me with enough force to nearly wind me. When he pulled back, I saw tears running down his face, which caused me to maybe sniffle a little. Yeah, okay I cried a little.

"I would love nothing more than for you and Bella to use the Cullen name if that is what you both wish."

"Thanks….dad," I said and he hugged me again.

"There was something else I wanted to mention to you. I hope that I haven't overstepped my bounds. I talked to a lawyer friend of mine and there is a way that you and Bella can be together legally."

"How?" I asked excitedly.

Carlisle then explained to me that if we had my adoption dissolved that Bella and I could legally get married. All it would take would be a signature from me and each one of my biological parents wishing to be pronounced as my legal parentage. It seemed almost too easy, but I suppose everything comes with a cost. I would have to talk to Charlie first, I wouldn't want to hurt him after all the support he had given us.

"I'll have to think about it," I told Carlisle honestly.

After I had finished my visit with Carlisle, I sat in my car to think. I pulled out the check which I had stuffed into my pocket and opened it up. I blinked at the number expecting it to change to somehow not be so absurd.

I flipped the small piece of paper over, somehow wondering how such a small thing could have such a large value. We couldn't accept this; I had to return the check. As I went to open my door, Carlisle knocked on my window.

Stunned, I rolled my window down.

"Don't even think about it. You are my son and she will be my daughter and you will take that money. You may or may not have a legal wedding but you will have the best damn wedding anyone has ever seen. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir," I said, catching a glimpse of what it would have been like growing up with Carlisle as a father. He commanded respect and obedience, and he was deserving enough to give it to.

"Good," he replied turning around and striding back into the house.

I took the check to the bank on the way home. There was no way I wanted to sit around with that kind of money in my pocket. Fifty thousand dollars was a lot. As it turned out, the check was certified. Carlisle had probably been waiting for a weak moment so he could shove it at me. I couldn't be mad; he obviously cared for Bella and me and was not trying to buy our love, just fund it.

I had the teller return some cash to me. There was something I needed to buy.

I was happy to see that James was not working that day. Although part of me wanted to have a pretty woman moment while buying the expensive ring. Yes, I had seen the movie. Don't judge, the movie _was _about a hooker which makes it a guy flick too.

With the beautiful diamond ring in my pocket, I headed home to Bella. I wanted nothing more than to have a romantic evening where I could present her the ring, but it seemed she had other ideas.

"Holy fuck," I said as I entered our apartment and saw her standing there.

Head-to-toe, decked out in a pleather catsuit, Bella looked like a mixture between a jewel thief and a dominatrix. I walked up to her and pulled her body into mine, forgetting all about the ring box in my pocket. Her hip bone came crashing into the pointy corner and she let out a little yelp.

"Ow, what do you have in there, Edward? Have you been sharpening your…" she pointed at my dick, "or something?" Her innocence had never really left her and the fact that she still got shy about saying dirty things just made them that much more hot when she did during sex.

"Uhm, it's nothing," I said trying to dodge the question. I didn't know whether or not I was going to be able to hide it from her at that point. Bella was always good at discovering things. She never liked to be surprised so she starting hunting down Christmas present hiding spots at a young age. I knew the look in her eye meant that she wanted to know what was in my pocket and there was no way she would let it go.

"Edward," she said sternly.

"I bought you something," I acquiesced. She raised her eyebrow but said nothing. The sight of her looking so stern in that catsuit was doing funny things to my brain.

I pulled out the box and held it out to her. She looked at it like it was on fire. "What's that?" she asked.

"Hopefully it's the ring of your dreams," I replied, opening the box.

Bella stared at the ring and I suddenly felt sick. What if she hated it? What if she was mad that I bought it with Carlisle's money? What if…

"I love it!"

**A/N- Thanks to my beta Tanya who provided me with Felix's useless fact. **

**Please review, we are almost at the end.**

Voting has started for the "A picture is Worth 1000 words" contest. I have an entry called The Boy with the Guitar. Please go vote at

http://www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2157911/Apictureisworth1000words


	28. Chapter 27

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

**A/N- Thanks so much to Livvi84 for the legal advice. : ) **

**This is it, and then the short epi. I hope you all like. **

Chapter 27

BPOV

I am not going to go into depth about the next few months. They consisted of wedding planning. Horrid, stressful wedding planning. Alice came up to help out and frankly, I've never wanted to put a stake through another person's heart so badly.

Edward played for both teams…no, not like that. He would shop with Alice and go through all the bridal magazines, he'd deny it but I saw him, and then he would veg with me on the couch and allow me to complain about how much I hated planning a wedding.

I suppose it could have been worse. We pulled together a wedding in just a few short months. Of course we didn't have to worry about licenses and finding a minister because no one was going to touch this ceremony with a ten foot pole.

The wedding was to be fairly elaborate considering the small guest list. Carlisle, Esme, Tanya, Charlie, Alice, Jasper, Riley, Vicky, Rose and Emmett were the only invitees. The Cullen's place was to be transformed into a place celebrating our love and at the end; I was to be transformed into a Cullen.

When Edward approached me with the idea of taking the Cullen name, I was surprised at how right it felt, as if we were always meant to be Edward and Bella Cullen. We had the papers drafted up and we were to sign them a week before the ceremony. That way we would have our official names for when we were married.

Charlie was warm and supportive when we told him. I expected him to be but at the same time I knew he would be sad not to be able to give me away. With no real officiate, our ceremony would not run like most weddings. Part of me longed for a chance to have it traditional but I knew that it would be special either way.

I don't think Riley and Vicky really understood why we wanted to do it. Without the legal paper they didn't understand what difference it would make. It was a hard thing to explain to anyone who hadn't been in our shoes, and that was virtually everyone.

Rose and Emmett had gotten over their initial weirdness regarding us and Emmett had decided to jump fully on the Edward and Bella train. Unfortunately, that meant defending us to most of Forks while accidently outing us. The news travelled fast and the reaction was pretty much what we expected. Luckily Charlie had found another job a month prior and was working in a small town just a few hours from Chicago. Renee, however, had stayed in Forks and was now enduring the brunt of the gossip. While I knew we would never be able to show our faces there again, it seemed worth it. The acquaintances we left behind didn't matter. And how could you put a price on Renee's discomfort?

At eight days before the wedding, I nearly lost it. Charlie was bunking at our place. The Cullens had offered to put him up but he felt weird about it. He felt that they had already done so much for him, giving over their son, that he couldn't take anything more from them. When Charlie told us that he was okay with the name change, I felt as if the love I had for my father couldn't have been any more. He truly was what every father should strive to be. At that time though, I just wished that he would be it elsewhere.

Edward and I hadn't been intimate in over a week and that was like freaking forever for us. The slightest look from him or the sight of a bronze penny was sending me into a storm of lust. It wasn't pretty.

"Alice and Jasper are going to be here soon and Rose and Emmett fly in tomorrow," Edward said looking pained. And did I ever feel it too! That meant more people here and less time alone.

"Hey, I have an idea," I said when inspiration hit.

"Dad," I called out to the next room.

"Yeah," his gruff voice answered.

"I forgot I have to drop something off at the caterers. Can you go pick up Alice and Jasper from the airport?"

"Sure thing, Bells," he replied grabbing his keys.

When the door clicked shut I looked over to Edward. He wore the same look on his face as before.

"Maybe we can hurry and drop off whatever you need to and then get a few minutes alone before he gets back," Edward said.

I laughed. "There is nothing to drop off."

Realization dawned on his face quickly followed by the biggest smile I had ever seen.

"Baby, don't tease," he said warily but the smile was still firmly in place.

"I don't have time to tease, I need you yesterday," I replied pulling on his arm and leading him to the bedroom.

It was the most uncoordinated we had been. Hands stumbling, noses bumping, a torn sleeve and an elbow to the eye but still, it felt like heaven. Edward and I were perfect even when we weren't perfect.

"No, don't get up yet," he said firmly holding my naked body against his.

"Dad's going to be back any minute, do you really want him and Alice to find us here naked?"

"Maybe," he pouted sarcastically causing me to laugh.

I kissed his lips and slowly pulled my body away from his, it screamed in protest.

I was barely dressed when I heard Alice's voice ring through our apartment. She had wanted to come and see us first, knowing that we wouldn't have a lot of time to visit in the next couple of days. Then she and Jasper were going to the Cullen's to help decorate.

"Where is Bella, the beautiful bride to be?"

"Ugh," I said coming out of the bedroom to greet her. I heard Edward chuckling, obviously hearing my dissatisfaction.

The truth was, after our little romp I was actually feeling as close to stress free as I could. I was once again looking forward to our wedding. I had lost site of it for a moment with all the bustle but the truth was that I couldn't wait to tell our friends and family that he was who I wanted forever. I felt a bit like a spoiled brat for not helping out more with the wedding, after all, it was me who proposed.

Alice swept me up like a tornado and swirled me around until I was dizzy. When she let go of me Jasper took her place. He squeezed and lifted me off the ground, causing me to lose the air in my lungs.

"Hi Jasper," I said coughing. He set me down and I caught my breath. "You have been spending entirely too much time hugging Alice obviously."

"I beg to differ," he said shooting a wink over at his lady-love.

"Oh you," Alice said in what was an attempt at a southern accent. She sounded more like Dame Edna than Scarlett O'Hara though.

We had a short visit before Alice and Jasper whisked themselves away to the Cullen household. I sat down on the couch and swirled my ring around my finger. I liked to play with the sparkly bit; it always made my heart swell.

Charlie and I made dinner together, which turned out half horribly and have delicious. I dare you to guess which half was mine. With clumpy noodles and burnt garlic toast the sauce was the only saving grace. That marinara could have saved dirt.

I was secretly glad that Alice hadn't decided to stay for dinner. I could only imagine what she would say to me eating so many carbohydrates this close to my wedding day.

We fell asleep that night to the sounds of Charlie snoring in the other room.

The next morning Edward and I headed down to the court house to sign for our new names. When we arrived there, I was surprised to see Edward looking so nervous.

"What is it?" I asked him worriedly. Maybe he had changed his mind.

"I have a surprise for you but I'm suddenly not sure how you are going to take it."

"Edward, you are scaring me, what is it?"

"I'm already a Cullen."

"What?"

"I had the adoption dissolved. I am now the legal child of Carlisle and Esmeralda Cullen. I was hoping that instead of name change forms, today we could file for a marriage license."

He stood in front of me with his hands in his pockets looking bashful. What he had just told me was taking an unusually long time to process through my head. But before I could answer, I had a question.

"What about Charlie?"

"I talked to him Sweetpea and he loved the idea. I was surprised at how well he took it. He said all he wants is for his two children to be happy and if this is the way, he is behind it fully."

"So we can get married? Like married, married?" I inquired, my blood pumping.

"Yes…if you want to," he added.

My answer came in the form of my launching myself at him and peppering his face with kisses. I got so caught up in my delirium that I nearly forgot that we were in a government building. Edward slowly peeled me off him before flashing me his brilliant smile.

"But wait, how are we going to get someone to marry us on such short notice? The wedding is a week away."

"It's all taken care of," he said sheepishly.

"How did you get so perfect?"

"Must have been being raised around you," he said smiling. We queued up in line and waited our turn. My body hummed with excitement.

We had the entire day to ourselves after that. Edward took my hand and led me through a park. It was a surprisingly warm winter day but we were still bundled in scarves, gloves and hats. The area was bereft of people and it felt nice to be the only two people in our world for a little while again.

**EPOV**

The week flew by and suddenly we were at the day before the wedding, 'Wedding's eve' as Bella had started calling it. The rehearsal was short and sweet and it was the first time Bella had met the Justice of the Peace that would be officiating our day. Bella and I had planned everything but we just wanted to go through the motions ahead of time to make sure we were okay with it. We may have practiced the kissing part a few times. Hey, we wanted to make sure everything was perfect.

I was on cloud nine; I was going to have the most beautiful girl in the world as my wife and I just wanted to walk down the street saying, "Yeah, she's mine." There may also have been bass-heavy music playing in said fantasy.

We decided to stay apart the night before. Once Bella found out that we were getting married for real, she wanted all the traditions. It was sheer torture to try and fall asleep without Bella by my side but somehow I managed it. The thought that I would never have to do it again was comfort enough.

In the morning I showered and shaved before dressing in my tux. I had told Charlie to be with Bella so Carlisle was with me.

"How are you feeling, son?" he asked.

"Anxious," I replied, "I can't wait."

Carlisle chuckled and I noticed how his smile was crooked like mine. The more time I spent with him the more similarities I noticed. I wondered if we hadn't had Alice take us over for dinner if I would have figured it out on my own.

We had a quick breakfast and I was thankful that Alice had gone to be with Bella as well or else she may have removed a limb for eating in my tuxedo.

"There's the man of the hour!" Emmett said bounding into the room, followed by Jasper.

"Hey guys," I replied.

"So do you want to tell me again why we couldn't give you a bachelor party?" Emmett whined.

"Those are for guys who are sad to see their single lives go," I chuckled.

We spent the morning talking and laughing. It was relaxed and a perfect way to start the day. By the time eleven rolled around I was feeling a bit of the anxiety. I knew that Bella would be there any minute and we were just waiting for the cue from Alice.

When the pixie-like girl entered the kitchen, I felt a breath of air whoosh out of my lungs. It was time. Time to make Bella my wife.

The guests were seated quickly and I took my position at the front of the room. Rosalie, who I never even knew played, had offered to play the piano for the ceremony. I think it was her way of making amends over how she took the news initially.

When the doors to the living room opened and Bella stepped through I was entranced. Never had she looked lovelier, and I thought she looked pretty lovely naked. Her hair was curled and hanging loosely down her back, the front pinned back. She looked like a princess in her white wedding gown. I had thought that she would have gone simple and maybe have opted for a cocktail dress but she had on a dress fit for a princess. And that is just what she was, my princess.

She had never looked more graceful as she floated down the aisle towards me. Standing there waiting for her was delicious torture. I wanted so much to run to her and take her in my arms but watching her walking to me, choosing me was so much more.

I barely noticed Charlie on her arm until they arrived at me. Charlie hugged Bella and then hugged me before taking his chair on her left. I smiled at her and she returned it. Her face lit up and I could tell that she was as happy as I was. This was our day.

The Justice of the Peace, Mr. Taylor, turned to address the guests. Welcoming them and providing a small speech on love and commitment. The words he spoke flowed through me but I had a hard time catching them, Bella was too distracting.

"Edward and Isabella have written their own vows. Edward, let us begin with yours."

"Bella, you stand here before me looking as radiant as I have ever seen you. You are my best friend and have always been. I promise that I will always be that best friend back to you. I vow to love you, respect you and cherish you as long as we live. I vow to you that I will do my best to make sure your needs are always met, be they physical or emotional. I vow to be your husband in every sense of the word." I smiled at her while tried to keep my own composure.

"Edward, at the age of six you told me that you were going to marry me. I had never realized how astute you were until now." A small amount of laughter rang through the room. "I cannot fathom loving anyone the way I love you. Your heartbeat lulls me to sleep, your kind words feed my soul and your trusting heart makes me a better person. I want nothing more than to wake up each day of my life to your gentle eyes and sweet kisses. When we are old and gray there will still be no man more handsome or wonderful to me. I love you with all that I am and I vow to you to be your wife, in every sense of the word."

We did a simple exchange of rings, repeating what every couple does, but somehow it meant more. The words, "I take thee as my lawful wedded wife," were more important than they have ever been. I slipped the gold band onto her finger and smiled at the sight of it there.

When she pushed the band onto my finger, her teary eyes made her job more difficult.

Mr. Taylor then led us to the registry table where we signed the registry. Alice and Jasper stood up to join us at the table, signing as our witnesses.

We returned to our place in the centre and the most beautiful words were spoken, "by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride."

I slid my hand around Bella's waist and pulled her to me, planting a hungry kiss on her lips. The world felt right with Bella in my arms. I broke the kiss when I heard sounds of clapping. Bella turned and hugged Charlie, while I hugged Carlisle and Esme. We took turns greeting our guests and accepting their congratulations.

There were not enough people to have a dance but Bella and I did share one anyway. After that there was a spread of delicious food for lunch. Everyone ate and mingled but I had a hard time concentrating on anything but my stunning bride.

Tanya and Bella seemed to bond sometime during the reception. I guess that Tanya no longer seen Bella as a threat but instead she saw a new sister that she could talk to. Bella surprisingly was just as excited about it as Tanya.

Esme's presence there had been exactly what I needed. Her support and love filled the void left by Renee.

As the day wound up, Bella and I were getting ready to head home when Carlisle cleared his throat.

"I have a gift that I would like to give the couple before they go." I raised my eyebrows and Bella shrugged.

Carlisle handed us an envelope and in it were keys to the honeymoon suite at the Ritz-Carlton hotel.

"Wow, this is just. Thank you," I said earnestly. Bella went over and gave him and Esme a hug.

We hadn't booked a hotel because we were saving the last of the wedding money for a small honeymoon. With Charlie staying with us, we hadn't expected to have much of a wedding night so we were beyond grateful for Carlisle's gift.

When we stepped outside there was a limo waiting for us. I opened the door for Bella and she slid in, getting slightly lost in her dress.

The room was more than we could have expected, two stories, with a Jacuzzi tub that could fit at least eight people. I looked at Bella and couldn't contain the grin on my face.

"Hello Mrs. Cullen," I said.

"Hello Mr. Cullen," she replied.

"What should I do first?" I teased looking around the room at the amenities.

"Me, please," she said with an innocent face that made me crazy.

"Don't mind if I do." I reached around and unzipped her dress, allowing it to fall and pool at her feet. She took two little hops and she was out.

In all my fantasies combined, Bella never looked as good as she did now. In a white corset and garter belt, she walked the line of angel and vixen. Her tiny waist curved in my hands as I brought her toward me.

As my hands explored her my mind decided what it wanted to do next. Bella's body acquiesced to me and it was beautiful. She allowed me to lead and follow at the same time. She held back none of her sounds and the symphony I was playing on her skin drove my desire.

She was enjoying all I was doing for her but in the end it was me that was panting for more.

"I need you Sweetpea," I said disrobing.

"Then have me," she replied simply.

I pushed my body into hers and was amazed at the difference a wedding could make. Everything felt different, better, more meaningful. It wasn't that what we did before was empty, only that it was now fuller.

We kept our eyes locked as we rocked back and forth. When her eyes flickered shut I knew she was close. I doubled my efforts and found her losing herself in my arms. I quickly followed, resting my sweaty forehead on hers.

I rolled off of her but kept her close in my arms.

"Do we really get to do this forever?" she asked softly.

"Nothing can tear us apart now," I vowed.


	29. Epilogue

**Title**: Sinful Thoughts  
**Author**: Readingmama/Vampiremama  
**Beta:** AcrossTheSkyInStars

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Continuity**: AH/AU  
**Rating**: M cause you never know when a lemon writes itself. 

**A/N—More at the bottom. But I would like to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has read, reviewed and recommended this story, you have all made it a pleasure to write. **

**Reviewers will get a teaser of the new story. **

Epilogue

Renee POV

I'm not sure when I became so bitter. And now it consumes me. I have lost everything I ever worked for. My husband, my children, my social status, everything. Forks became uninhabitable for me a year after I destroyed myself. I moved somewhere sunny, just so I wouldn't have the reminders that the rain always gave me.

Even in the seclusion, I managed to still hear news about my family. Edward majored in business, specializing in restaurant management and had opened a five star eatery in Chicago. Business was booming. Bella had become an art teacher. That hurt the most. I had never even known that my daughter liked to draw and paint. The thought made me hollow. She had grown and changed and I no longer knew her.

Charlie was in a small town not far from the kids and was doing well. He had found someone new and I wasn't as surprised as I should have been when I found out his new love's name was Phil. With the way I acted, I would have turned me off women too. I wondered how the kids liked him. Would he be considered family? Did he replace me in their hearts?

I don't expect anyone to feel sorry for me. I made my choices and I sleep in my own bed. My pride stood in the way of forgiveness, something that I am sure that my family was more than capable of if I would have given them the chance.

My loneliness gets to me sometimes and I pick up the phone. I sit and stare at it until the dial tone goes dead. I can't call them now, not after all I have done.

I'm a grandmother now. Somewhere out there, there is a beautiful little girl named Swan Angela Cullen and I will never meet her. She will never know of the grandmother who loves her. I find comfort in the knowledge that she is well taken care of though.

The Cullen's are a prominent family in Chicago, always attending charity dinners and such. Their names and faces are scattered through the sections of the various local newspapers and I collect each one. My scrapbook overflowed and I am on my second one.

This is my penance, to sit and watch from afar, the beautiful family that I pushed away.

I pour myself another drink, willing it to numb my pain. It was I who was wrong.

I was the sinful one.

**The End. **

**E/N- Thank you again to my amazing beta Tanya, without you I would have had a lot more scalding reviews on my grammar. **

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